just feel empty and bleak

I'm not doing as well as I thought I was there for awhile. I'm so miserable, depressed and angry all the time now. I haven't been able to go out at all recently which makes it so depressing and on top of it I'm sick (which is why I can't leave the house). When I go out, I just get no thrill at all. I feel so empty.

I feel like it takes something so shocking to make me excited now. I'm used to being manic a lot, and it's been nothing but a depression for me lately. I used to enjoy going to look at watches, going to a movie, getting out, socializing and now it does nothing at all for me. I'm usually an extrovert, love talking to everyone everywhere I go. I just don't even feel like it makes me happy anymore. Is that normal in depression?

I just feel like walking death to sum it all up. It's a struggle to wake up knowing the day is going to be complete depression. I can feel it right away when I wake up. I just feel like I've ran out of options with my meds, and I just will have to battle this the rest of my life. It just has gotten worse with age for me, less joy and less pleasure. I wish I would have been medicated the first sign of a symptom of Bipolar.

I hope this doesn't bring anyone down with my problems.

I'm really sorry to hear this Jake. It does sound like pretty bad depression. :/ I know how you are feeling -- been there too (even today).

I don't have good advice, just a hug and an open PM box if you need a chat. I hope tomorrow will be brighter for you.

Hi,
Sorry to hear you are feeling so rotten.
I have been there too.
I really identify with your statement about feeling depressed and angry.
Life is pretty good for me right now and I never want to slip back into depression or anger.
A lot of my triggers are gone. I've retired from work - a major source of frustration, and my boys are grown up so I don't have to deal with their mother so much. I have friends and belong to a good peer support group that meets twice a month.

I believe it is critical that you get dressed each day and go outside, even if it is just to walk around the block. Build up until you can meet a friend for coffee at a coffee shop. (Not having them come over and drink coffee in your kitchen) The longer you hide, the harder it gets to re-emerge.

Be kind to yourself.
Don't blame yourself for your problems.
Try to think uplifting thoughts.

Rent DVD's of classic love stories.
We watched "Tess" a couple of weeks ago.
That's a depressing movie.

I have to go now. I'm picking a cancer patient up at the cancer clinic and driving her home.
When you have strength, volunteering is good.

Take care,

Hugs to you

I am sorry you are feeling so awful. I wanted to second about volunteer work when you feel up to it as it can be really rewarding and take you away from your situation a bit - I find that really helps. It is worth thinking about. Please keep talking here- I hope it helps you.

Hugs to you

Cracked

Sorry to hear that things are so difficult at the moment Jake. You've been having a rough time this year, and being physically ill on top of all that depression and anger definitely doesn't make things any better. Try to take good care of yourself the same way you would take care of a friend who is going through a similar situation. Nice warm bath, chicken soup, cough drops and all the like.

((far away hugs so I don't get sick too!))

I wanted to thank you all for your responses. I did take a small step today, just as much as to get outside. It was about 18 celsius so I decided I was going to sit out back in my yard. It did help a little I got to admit just sitting in the sunshine for a bit.

That's the way to do it.
One step at a time, and count the little successes.
They add up to a satisfying life.

You must live in the south somewhere to be having 18 degrees Celcius these days.
Our nicest days so far are typical for the season but just 12 degrees celcius.

Take care,

PS I had a very unproductive day. Other than answering a couple phone calls, I stayed in bed until after 5:00 pm. But this evening was terrific. I went to a concert of the Glenn Miller Orchestra. I love that war era music.