Isolation and University

Since I've gone to University, I've felt very alone, but not lonely- does that make sense? If I were lonely I'd talk to my flatmates or call a friend/my sister, but I'm not. I just feel very isolated and talking to/seeing people isn't going to help because they won't understand it fully and I'll still be alone.
I made friends here, but I've missed so many lectures due to my condition that I've barely seen them since Christmas and now they don't seem to like me any more anyway. I'm definitely going to fail this year (I'm not being melodramatic- if there's any justice in the world I'll fail) and I don't know what I'll do then. I'm a total parasite and I can't make myself do something I don't want to do so I'll manipulate others into doing it for me if I can.
I just feel so lost. It sort of feels as though I'm being pulled towards a waterfall by a river and I can't fight it, but if I could it wouldn't make any difference anyway.
When I think logically, I know that there are people who care about me that I can reach out to, but doing so feels useless and I don't feel any less alone.

Hello Vatican_cameos,
You really are in a dark and gloomy period of your life, aren't you. University can be a very troubling period of our lives. I really understand the feeling of being alone when surrounded by friends who don't really know me. I've had that feeling to different degrees as long as I can remember.

I really think you would benefit from some professional counseling and a visit to a psychiatrist.
The university I attended had a good Student Health Service and we could walk in any time and get help. If need be, they would arrange follow up appointments with specialists.

I encourage you to try to see a psychiatrist or psychologist through your university student health services. Or, if you live close to home, see your family doctor. You seem to have a lot of emotional baggage to examine with the help of professionals.

Please make an appointment for yourself soon, and don't skip it when the time comes. I really hope you get help soon.

Take care,

skilsaw is right. Find out if your university have a student welfare center. Make an appointment and don't miss it.
I made one a year ago when I was going in a dark place. Unfortunately skipped it because I thought I was feeling better. Now the wait list is so long I'm still waiting for an appointment from my university health service.

I'm still trying to finish university and over the years, things I've done made my friends eventually veer away from me. I can be nice most of the time but I might have done a few things I regret right after. I've screamed at them over petty things. Sometimes sounding obnoxious because I was irritated at the time. Just recently, I heard one of them said they don't include me in anything because I might 'flip my switch'. So much for thinking they were my friends. I feel alone at times but I don't want to worry my family abroad by telling them.

I try not to think so much about everything. I know everything can seem overwhelming sometimes. I try to take it one exam at a time. It helps knowing that you are doing this for yourself. Gaining knowledge should be fun and enjoyable. The experience you gain will be worth it someday.

Stay strong and I hope you feel better.

Thank you both so much- sorry it took me this long to reply.
My psychiatrist has put me in for counselling but it hasn't started yet. I think that'll have to at least help a little. I thought that the student welfare team were really good at my Uni but now it seems that they're just very good at appearing helpful and less so at actually doing anything. I'll just have to hope that the counselling works out.

I also thought when our student office of my faculty said they do counseling/mentoring sessions, it would be helpful. Instead, the lady told me I'm not taking enough exam and proceeded to stare at me..maybe waiting for an answer/excuse/whatever she may call it.

That prompted me to quickly find a therapist for help as I was in a deep state by then. I found my therapist at a psychotherapy center provided by the city for students in the area for free. I live in a city highly populated by students btw. Usually I try not to think of everything at once and analyse my situation so I can manage myself better.

I hope you feel much better now than you did before. Everybody will at some point feel the stress especially in a university setting. Getting help is the first step. Just have to work at it and think positively.