Hi,
I have been unofficially diagnozed as borderline personality. I seem to fit the criteria, but there also seems to be a certain pattern in my mood which I've began to think in terms of possible bi-polar disorder. Most of the year I'm pretty much in a state of immobile depression, fatigue and emptiness and a sense of lost and ruin with no strength, inteerest or ability to concetrate in much of anything. But recently I had an episode for couple of weeks (2-3, I think) when I felt uplifted and didn't think my life in terms of a 'problem' as I most of the time do - I was able to make some future plans, to read and to write (my preferred activity) and felt relieved and 'ascended', even mildly enthusiatic about it. I didn't want to go to sleep or even eat because it somehow felt like a 'waste of time'. Nothing external launched this in me, it just 'snapped' on inside me (Of course in borderline personality we have 'triggers' - but for me those kinds of triggers that are linked to my 'borderline personality disorder' don't really have an effect on this basic mood of mine - those kinds of 'triggers' have more to do with the compensatonary phenomena of my conscious mental life, not my basic 'mood' or 'ability') However, now I've 'come down' from this uplifted state, in to the usual hopeless depression and lack of interest, and I've started to review if there's been some kind of a 'pattern' in the past years concerning this process of 'depression-elevation-depression' and I think that in contrast to my usual depression, I've indeed had these kinds of uplifting episodes at least once a year (without external triggers for that change in mood) usually as short-lived as it was now (couple of weeks)
I'm by my nature sensitive and somewhat creative 'day-dreaming' type, but I've been plagued by this downward depression for all my adult life with the exceptions of these very short enthusiastic periods that come suddenly and burn out as suddenly as they came. I've tried to read something about Bi-polar disorder but haven't formed a real comprehensive picture of it, so I thought it would be easier to ask about it here. So my questions would be: Does this sound like Bi-polar disorder, and would it be possible for bi-polar disorder to present itself in this way: As deep depression in general, but with 1, at most 2 (two-three week) periods of elevation per year?