Not sure if my self-diagnosis is correct i'd love opinions

Not a big fan of "self-diagnosed" mental disorders because it seems many people get them wrong.
Too embarrassed for doctors in this regard.

I think I'm hypomaniac.

I read some of the symptoms and below of each symptom i describe my own experience.

I'm a 24yo european male, uni student that lives alone, typical height and weight, not taking drugs (prescription or otherwise), not smoking or drinking, don't have any condition that I'm aware of. My father had full blown schizophrenia, he's not with us anymore.


1.Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep).

I always had a big problem with sleeping, everyone around me could just "sleep" at will, that was always impossible for me, if i wasn't completely worn out I could never shut down my brain, I could even lie down for hours and couldn't get myself to sleep. This is for most time of the year, there were times that sleeping was all I did, even for 12hours a day.
This has impacted negatively alot my personal life.
Although I usually sleep bout 5-6 hours.

2.More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking.

Depends, if I'm with people that I'm comfortable with I'll always be loudest, endless talking, wittiest(at least how i perceive it) joking around for hours non-stop. All that in comparison to most people and friends i observed.
But, that only happens with friends, with other people I just avoid talking and avoid in general.

3.Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing.

I think this fits more than the rest, I usually pace back and forth in my apartment for hours supposedly thinking of
great theories and ideas and epiphanies and writing them down, especially lately, i can have so many epiphanies in 5 seconds that i cannot keep track of.
Thing is, i spend enormous amounts of time alone doing just writing and thinking about stuff i get obsessed over.

4.Distractibility (e.g., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli)
Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation.

For a while i thought I had ADHD, maybe I do have, not sure but this is how it goes.
I thought I had ADHD because I was unable to focus on most things and control my impulses on pretty much anything.
But I noticed that if i got obsessed with one particular subject/task I could disregard literally everything and focus on that problem even for days without bore or giving up.
As far as I know, your attention changes towards what's most interesting to you, so it's not that i was just being distracted non-stop but i followed my raw attention.

5.Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity

I literally still think that I can solve great unsolved problems and do incredible things and my insight of the world is far superior than almost anyone.
I am aware of how crazy this is but I still think I am all that.

6.Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., the person engages in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments).

Lately I limit myself mostly to being alone so there's little external danger to be exposed to.
But my sexual tension is too high, at any given day I can masturbate 5-7 times without any significant drop of my sexual drive or general energy.
If I'm not obsessed with something I'll be having sexual thoughts.
It took me a long year to have any progress in this impulse, nowadays I do it 1-3 times a day.

Last year I had 2 major depressions for no apparent reason, in which I couldn't do anything, not even passive things like watching a movie and when attempting watching a movie i would almost cry or just tear up a little bit filled with frustration again for no reason, was having mild but realistic suicidal thoughts, thinking lowly of myself. One of them lasted couple of weeks, I was completely apathetic towards everything, even with friends I couldn't enjoy anything or even speak for the most part.

People can easily misinterpret or see what they want or don't want, being aware that i can be somewhat delusional i can't really trust my self even if if something makes perfect sense, so I'd like your input.
English isn't my native language but I understand it's not an excuse for this extremely sloppy writing.
Also you can literally ask me anything if it helps or just satisfies your curiosity.

I looked around and I read the "Do I have Bipolar" thread and I have to say this feels awkward, I don't want to pollute your board with self-absorbed repetitive threads so I'll try to keep it short.

I don't believe it is ethical for anyone here to attempt to offer an opinion on diagnosis and I would strongly urge that if you believe that you are dealing with a mental health disorder to speak with a mental health professional as soon as possible.

However, the term is "hypomanic" and it is a symptom of Bipolar 2 as well as mixed episodes, it is not a diagnosis in and of itself. From what you described it does not sound like bipolar 2 although there is limited information in your post. Have you ever experienced mania? Were the depressive episodes cyclical with some extent to your elevated mood and decreased need for sleep? Could you perhaps clarify delusional behavior?

Once again I strongly advise seeking a consultation with a medical professional, please take care and hopefully others on the forum will reiterate the need for a specialist particularly since you have a family history of mood disorders.

hi

I think that the important thing to do here is to see a Dr and ask them what they think as it is important to get properly assessed if you are wondering if you have a mood disorder. Seeing a Dr will be the way to do this so please do see one ASAP. Depending on where you are you can start with your GP and be referred if necessary or you can go to a psych straight off if this is an option. They may not be able to diagnose straight away as they may want to observe you for a bit but I think that it is important you go see one.

Cracked

Solovyov wrote:I don't believe it is ethical for anyone here to attempt to offer an opinion on diagnosis and I would strongly urge that if you believe that you are dealing with a mental health disorder to speak with a mental health professional as soon as possible.

However, the term is "hypomanic" and it is a symptom of Bipolar 2 as well as mixed episodes, it is not a diagnosis in and of itself. From what you described it does not sound like bipolar 2 although there is limited information in your post. Have you ever experienced mania? Were the depressive episodes cyclical with some extent to your elevated mood and decreased need for sleep? Could you perhaps clarify delusional behavior?

Once again I strongly advise seeking a consultation with a medical professional, please take care and hopefully others on the forum will reiterate the need for a specialist particularly since you have a family history of mood disorders.

hi

CrackedGirl wrote:I think that the important thing to do here is to see a Dr and ask them what they think as it is important to get properly assessed if you are wondering if you have a mood disorder. Seeing a Dr will be the way to do this so please do see one ASAP. Depending on where you are you can start with your GP and be referred if necessary or you can go to a psych straight off if this is an option. They may not be able to diagnose straight away as they may want to observe you for a bit but I think that it is important you go see one.

Cracked

I really do appreciate the emphasis on me seeking professional opinion.
Realizing that an individual no matter how objective he would like to be, in such cases it's impossible to get ahold of an objective perspective.
Don't worry, I'm functional.
I understand that you think your opinions, even with good intentions, can mislead a person, I'm taking that into consideration.

But besides that, solely on what I gave you, do you think I might have hypomania?
Solovyov says that it probably isn't, which is sort of good news and bad.
The good would be that I was free of all the emotional burdens.
The bad is, if it's not hypomania that leaves me in square one and lost, unless all this is somehow normal.

As for experiencing mania and depression it's mostly how I describe in OP.
When I was in my "low" I could sleep for 10-14 hours and throughout the day.
Well I guess it is cyclical, every several months or so I'll be very depressed or so low that wont be motivated to even do simple neccesary tasks.
One thing I do remember is that after couple of weeks of being depressed I was extremely positive and ideas and "novel" thoughts were coming faster than I could blink, I was feeling so good all around, seeing beauty in places I never noticed, extremely positive and optimistic about future and started many projects.

Can you share or post link of your maniac experience?Granted that you're hypo and not full manic, I really want to understand more.

I will write the obligatory disclaimer. I am wholly unqualified to make any kind of psychiatric diagnosis. If you are experiencing distress or concerns of any kind, please see your appropriately qualified professional.

I think it's ordinary for young people, when they start to develop 'metacognition' or awareness of their own thoughts, to analyse and question their behaviour. They start to realise that the ideal that society is holding them to, is not the reality of human existence. For example young women start to wonder if their normal bodies are fat, because of unrealistic images on the tv. I am married and my husband went through this thing of thinking there was something wrong with him because of his high sex drive. A high sex drive is typical and normal for many young men, even though it is not always convenient and may distract them from their goals and from behaving in the manner expected of them by society. High sex drive can be a symptom of hypomania, but it would typically fluctuate with mood.

For example, number two, talkativeness or pressure of speech; when I get hypomanic or manic, I talk so much that my jaw hurts. The pain in my jaw is the first thing I notice, because I don't notice how inappropriately much I have been speaking. This pressure of speech is not typical of my communication style. Whereas what you seem to be describing the way you behave with friends. That could be normal for you. Again, does it fluctuate with mood.

You describe yourself as having some grandiosity, being very confident in your opinions and of having high expectations. Again, from the 24yo males I have known and socialised with when I was that age, they were all like that. It was kind of annoying when they thought they knew everything and wouldn't listen. But, that kind of confidence can be typical among young men. If you start thinking you are the reincarnation of Aristotle or Plato or Jesus, then I think you would have cause for concern. If you are approaching this level of grandiosity, if you honestly think that next week you will revolutionise your field, then perhaps you should be concerned. If you think that one day, after years of hard work, trying and failing different things, then you might do something important in a small way, then this would be more reasonable level of grandiosity.

The pacing up and down thinking of insights and ideas: you are a uni student, you are learning. Again this could be normal, but it does suggest some psychomotor agitation. If it persists more than an hour or so at a time, perhaps you should be a little concerned. If you are doing it for days in a row, then it is clearly something is wrong.

Question 6 covers risk taking or impulsive behaviour. You have listed a high sex drive here, which might be relevant overall but it is not the answer to point 6. If you are engaging in promiscuous behaviour because of it, then it is relevant to this item. Also other risk taking behaviours like business ventures and shopping sprees are relevant here. In mania and hypomania there is a lack of insight, a lack of judgement that goes along with the high energy.

You speak of depressions. Feeling low for a couple of weeks and crying at a movie doesn't really warrant a diagnosis of depression. However, suicidal thoughts are something to be concerned about, something to take seriously, and in the context of prolonged sadness might indicate a greater degree of depression then first appears on the surface. I think it's important to have a safety plan. Find out in advance the suicide hotline number, the hospital number, friends numbers, and carry them around with you in case of emergency.

Which brings me to the next point: I have never seen such a careful analysis of behaviour as you have done here, on a forum, and a lot of people try to self-diagnose on forums. This tells me you have a lot of consideration and insight into your own behaviour which is something often lacking during hypomania and mania.

The main reason for you to see a doctor would be if you are experiencing distress, if your life is being disrupted by these symptoms. A diagnosis is really a working assumption needed to inform the best treatment approach.

I do think you should see a psychiatrist if suicidal thoughts are worrying you. A general practitioner might not assess for hypomania and you may react badly to anti-depressants if you are prone to hypomania. The psychiatrist will assess you in a much more comprehensive way than just against these items; he or she will take a full case history to confirm their diagnosis. My ramblings here are fairly meaningless, since even though i know all about bipolar disorder I am not trained to make any kind of diagnosis. And neither are you. It is really worth it if you have these concerns, to get them attended to. If you are normal then there is nothing to fear, and if you have a mental health condition then early treatment is very important to prevent deterioration.

bipolarbirdie wrote:I will write the obligatory disclaimer. I am wholly unqualified to make any kind of psychiatric diagnosis. If you are experiencing distress or concerns of any kind, please see your appropriately qualified professional.

I think it's ordinary for young people, when they start to develop 'metacognition' or awareness of their own thoughts, to analyse and question their behaviour. They start to realise that the ideal that society is holding them to, is not the reality of human existence. For example young women start to wonder if their normal bodies are fat, because of unrealistic images on the tv. I am married and my husband went through this thing of thinking there was something wrong with him because of his high sex drive. A high sex drive is typical and normal for many young men, even though it is not always convenient and may distract them from their goals and from behaving in the manner expected of them by society. High sex drive can be a symptom of hypomania, but it would typically fluctuate with mood.

I'm really glad that you took the time and shared your opinion.
I always believed that my high sex drive was a result of high testosterone but it turns out my test levels are barely average.
It certainly doesn't account for my obsession with it.
Right now I think I'm in normal state or going downhill or something very mild so I'm very aware of myself, at least I'd like to think that.

My obsession with sex is far greater than masturbating it also involves the risky behavior, brothels, and street hookers of highly questionable health, with the latter I always ended up very close to having sex with, but I did with brothel hookers, it wasn't the sex on itself that got me obsessed but the risk, I could/can get sex anytime with my GF or some other girl that are "available" to me on that department but there are periods that I prefer "lower quality and appearance women" high risk sex over anything available.
I do currently have a GF that really is in love with me and satisfies emotional and sexual need but this obsession with risky sex, pornography, etc doesn't get satiated by my GF or my ex or the ex before that.

Anyone I know with low, medium or high sex drive still doesn't compare to my level of intensity and obsession with sex and all that jazz.
And the latest years I was convinced that all this was a result of me having "high testosterone" (which isn't the case), ADHD and predisposition to schizophrenia (perhaps high levels of dopamine??), and all that in combination created this type of behavior that makes "me", but lately I've seen a bigger picture of the pattern and currently hypomania fits as a whole better than my previous theories.
Not even sure which one is better.

For example, number two, talkativeness or pressure of speech; when I get hypomanic or manic, I talk so much that my jaw hurts. The pain in my jaw is the first thing I notice, because I don't notice how inappropriately much I have been speaking. This pressure of speech is not typical of my communication style. Whereas what you seem to be describing the way you behave with friends. That could be normal for you. Again, does it fluctuate with mood.

As I said I talk only when comfortable with people but when I do speak it's another story.
In high moods, my jaw is usually fine but only because my throat gives in first, when we gather around or talk in skype I'm usually always only one to talk more and get a sore throat, only that stops me from continuing, there was a very high state that I spoke for 6,5 hours almost yelling for the whole duration, without a single pause it was late night and I was so immersed that, I wasn't even angry just excited. And the only reason I stopped was pain all over my head, body, exhaustion, dizziness (it was far after I should've have slept), sore throat etc, that has happened many times in my high moods.
Whenever I get the chance with my friends and high in mood I almost always end up with a sore throat and sound like a heavy smoker after that.

As I said I've been more alone in the last couple of years so I can concentrate on my goals, I have big ones, among the ones i mentioned in OP.
When in high mood and alone I usually end up in some forum arguing stuff, there were too many instances of 10 to 14 hour non-interrupted "debates" writing and replying non-stop with various people about various subjects, I had to respond to everyone and prove/disprove everything non-stop obsessively, even in matters that I wasn't interested in.
When I'm in a more normal state I do none of that, which is another which makes question my "normality".

You describe yourself as having some grandiosity, being very confident in your opinions and of having high expectations. Again, from the 24yo males I have known and socialised with when I was that age, they were all like that. It was kind of annoying when they thought they knew everything and wouldn't listen. But, that kind of confidence can be typical among young men. If you start thinking you are the reincarnation of Aristotle or Plato or Jesus, then I think you would have cause for concern. If you are approaching this level of grandiosity, if you honestly think that next week you will revolutionise your field, then perhaps you should be concerned. If you think that one day, after years of hard work, trying and failing different things, then you might do something important in a small way, then this would be more reasonable level of grandiosity.

Well i sort of believe that I can revolutionize in the coming years, fields of philosophy, arts, physics etc. when I'm in high mood I'm extremely certain of that.
I always was fearful that this type of thinking was the onset of schizophrenia, but it doesn't fit and explain the whole puzzle of my mood, action and thought patterns.

The pacing up and down thinking of insights and ideas: you are a uni student, you are learning. Again this could be normal, but it does suggest some psychomotor agitation. If it persists more than an hour or so at a time, perhaps you should be a little concerned. If you are doing it for days in a row, then it is clearly something is wrong.

It's definitely more than one hour, sometimes almost the entirety of the day can be consumed by these thoughts disregarding personal hygiene, food, responsibilities, duties etc. All that when I'm in high mood. And if the obsession really connects it can continue right after I wake up the next day until I get worn out again.

Question 6 covers risk taking or impulsive behaviour. You have listed a high sex drive here, which might be relevant overall but it is not the answer to point 6. If you are engaging in promiscuous behaviour because of it, then it is relevant to this item. Also other risk taking behaviours like business ventures and shopping sprees are relevant here. In mania and hypomania there is a lack of insight, a lack of judgement that goes along with the high energy.

Funny thing, my biggest anxiety and concern in my normal mood is how will I keep up with my decisions, I've made some heavy decisions about Uni and my future jobs and havent' told anyone, literally no one.
I'll be dropping out everything in the coming months and getting a new source of income, a risky one but legal one. When I'm in my low moods it's one of the things that hits me hard, that it's a bad choice and will cost me and the consequences how will my family will react upon hearing my course of actions etc. I don't think any of that when high mood.

You speak of depressions. Feeling low for a couple of weeks and crying at a movie doesn't really warrant a diagnosis of depression. However, suicidal thoughts are something to be concerned about, something to take seriously, and in the context of prolonged sadness might indicate a greater degree of depression then first appears on the surface. I think it's important to have a safety plan. Find out in advance the suicide hotline number, the hospital number, friends numbers, and carry them around with you in case of emergency.

If you re-read my OP you' noticed that I don't *cry* by being moved or anything within a movie, I meant that before putting a movie(because being passive was the only thing i could handle) or doing ANY kind of activity I'd cried from frustration for no apparent, for me, reason.
Not sure how to describe it, you know the feeling right before crying from frustration, that feeling is a constant big portion of my day when in low mood.

Which brings me to the next point: I have never seen such a careful analysis of behaviour as you have done here, on a forum, and a lot of people try to self-diagnose on forums. This tells me you have a lot of consideration and insight into your own behaviour which is something often lacking during hypomania and mania.

I don't know about that, as far as i can tell the past week has been quite normal, with everyday being increasingly slightly lower in mood, but nowhere near my depression state, i feel now very "ok", no particular energy or particular sadness.
Despite what I said I still consider myself objective and always try to be and not being it is one of my biggest fears because it implies disconnection from reality and thus not thinking in relation to reality, which as I said is part of my goals (solving problems on variety of fields).
One may think that being objective and reasonable can't coexist with having emotions of grandeur, I can't currently put my hands on that but I generally think they aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, depends on what we're talking and in what level and the person etc.

The main reason for you to see a doctor would be if you are experiencing distress, if your life is being disrupted by these symptoms. A diagnosis is really a working assumption needed to inform the best treatment approach.

This is my main concern, my choices really are high in distress-potential, I may have destroyed my future opportunities with overestimating my strength, I was many times near-danger from my sexual pursuits, STDS being only a part of the dangers. I haven' done anything harmful to others.

I do think you should see a psychiatrist if suicidal thoughts are worrying you. A general practitioner might not assess for hypomania and you may react badly to anti-depressants if you are prone to hypomania. The psychiatrist will assess you in a much more comprehensive way than just against these items; he or she will take a full case history to confirm their diagnosis. My ramblings here are fairly meaningless, since even though i know all about bipolar disorder I am not trained to make any kind of diagnosis. And neither are you. It is really worth it if you have these concerns, to get them attended to. If you are normal then there is nothing to fear, and if you have a mental health condition then early treatment is very important to prevent deterioration.

Generally i "trained" myself to be overly optimistic, more than anyone I know. But it seems in times of depression no matter how hard I try, I view depression not with despair but with a logical and reasonable option, prior to these latest few years I never really had much to do with death or preoccupation with suicide, at least as far as I can remember almost none and if there was it was due to a direct external reason.

Despite all, that my substance abuse is non-existent, I know that people with bipolar disorder do engage in such activities.
But then again I was never predisposed to them, I think I directed all my possible obsessions to sexual and intellectual "fields".
Perhaps that's not the case, I don't know, hopefully within this month or the next month I'll get a professional opinion.

Prior knowing anything about hypomania I thought everything stemmed from ADHD(and the grandeur from Schizho), I thought that I probably had ADHD because I was the least likely to concentrate on anything imposed by others, good-willed or not. Almost never pay attention in school or anything that wasn't appealing to me intrinsically, I tried hard but never managed getting around the severe procrastination(if i wasn't obsessed i would just waste my time with anything that grabbed my attention) and attention issues.

And problem with sleeping as I said I could never sleep unless I was completely worn out, I always had broken sleeping patterns, meaning I stayed awake more hours everyday continually, this interfered alot with my duties, GF, friends, work (when i working I slept only 4 hours a day and was always irritated, coudln't sleep more and it was intellectually draining job that also need social skills).

Perhaps I want to have hypomania because that would explain all those things that I was having all my life along with other things I didn't consider up to now, so many things that were in the far extreme compared to people I know, family, friends etc.
Having so many abnormal behaviors and tendencies I sort of felt that I was born with "bad" genes or some kind of birth defect, if you consider everything at once hypomania explains the whole pattern.
Unless I actually have insomnia, hypersexuality, low depressions, attention deficit etc etc all at once and separately , which is probably but not likely.
But regardless, I'm not fabricating anything or exaggerating, everything I said indeed happens to me.

proly wrote:
I really do appreciate the emphasis on me seeking professional opinion.
Realizing that an individual no matter how objective he would like to be, in such cases it's impossible to get ahold of an objective perspective.
Don't worry, I'm functional.
I understand that you think your opinions, even with good intentions, can mislead a person, I'm taking that into consideration.

But besides that, solely on what I gave you, do you think I might have hypomania?
Solovyov says that it probably isn't, which is sort of good news and bad.
The good would be that I was free of all the emotional burdens.
The bad is, if it's not hypomania that leaves me in square one and lost, unless all this is somehow normal.

As for experiencing mania and depression it's mostly how I describe in OP.
When I was in my "low" I could sleep for 10-14 hours and throughout the day.
Well I guess it is cyclical, every several months or so I'll be very depressed or so low that wont be motivated to even do simple neccesary tasks.
One thing I do remember is that after couple of weeks of being depressed I was extremely positive and ideas and "novel" thoughts were coming faster than I could blink, I was feeling so good all around, seeing beauty in places I never noticed, extremely positive and optimistic about future and started many projects.

Can you share or post link of your maniac experience?Granted that you're hypo and not full manic, I really want to understand more.

Don't worry my friend you are never lost, just constantly searching as we all are, and it is not so much that I do not think you have Bipolar, but more so that not only are we unqualified to make a statement, but the amount of information and context we have on your situation is severely limited. This is why I believe you should speak with a doctor, particularly since you are still self-aware enough to recognize that something is amiss.

The cyclical aspect of bipolar is often a defining feature (although it is not necessarily constant), another key way to tell is the effects of atypical ssri's and anticonvulsant medications upon your symptoms. SSRI's pose a very real danger to individuals suffering from bipolar disorder as it can onset manic/hypomanic symptoms.

I myself suffer from mixed episodes (so my experience with hypomania is very likely different from that of other individuals) but it is often characterized through; significantly decrease need for sleep (ie up for two-three days), irritability, physical confrontations, brief limited interludes of psychotic symptoms (flashes of colour, shadows, hearing muffled conversations in an environment where that would be impossible), delusions of grandeur, and forming connections between aspects of art and culture and believing that it was relevant to my life in a direct and meaningful manner. However, since I have mixed episodes characterized by depression I tended to be highly suicidal during these periods.

When I was 15 and unmedicated I had an episode after not sleeping for two days in which I came under the impression my father murdered my mother and barricaded myself in my room, but the episode did not continue after I forced myself to sleep. This is my only experience with "manic" symptoms and to be honest it could have just been hypomanic symptoms exacerbated through lack of sleep. My diagnosis does not include "manic" symptoms and am currently taking amphetamines in my medication cocktail and they did not send me into mania so it is unlikely I have BP1.

If you have an questions about the illness itself or if you need support please feel free to PM me

Don't worry my friend you are never lost, just constantly searching as we all are, and it is not so much that I do not think you have Bipolar, but more so that not only are we unqualified to make a statement, but the amount of information and context we have on your situation is severely limited. This is why I believe you should speak with a doctor, particularly since you are still self-aware enough to recognize that something is amiss.

The cyclical aspect of bipolar is often a defining feature (although it is not necessarily constant), another key way to tell is the effects of atypical ssri's and anticonvulsant medications upon your symptoms. SSRI's pose a very real danger to individuals suffering from bipolar disorder as it can onset manic/hypomanic symptoms.

I see, can you tell me how your cycles go? Duration of hypomania/mania, duration of depression and other states.

I myself suffer from mixed episodes (so my experience with hypomania is very likely different from that of other individuals) but it is often characterized through; significantly decrease need for sleep (ie up for two-three days), irritability, physical confrontations, brief limited interludes of psychotic symptoms (flashes of colour, shadows, hearing muffled conversations in an environment where that would be impossible), delusions of grandeur, and forming connections between aspects of art and culture and believing that it was relevant to my life in a direct and meaningful manner. However, since I have mixed episodes characterized by depression I tended to be highly suicidal during these periods.

Staying up for 2-3 days, there's something that doesn't happen to me. Keeping this in mind.
Anything sleep related to me is being unable to take nap, being unable to sleep at the right time, always some hours later everyday, unless I'm completely exhausted, then I'll sleep in a normal time, never earlier. If you kept track of my sleeping time one could see that it makes a circle, If i sleep today at 24:00 tomorrow I'll sleep at 2:00, the next day 3:00, the next at 6:00, etc cycling all the 24 hours. But that does have other causes as well so I'm not sure. Curiously after adapting to job couple of years ago, after a week on the job that started happening again, the 24 hour cycling of the day and it messed with my job obviously.

When I'm low in mood I take many naps, sleep for more than 10 hours a day even 14 hours a day for a week. Which resulted into my family convincing me to try medical examination. The verdict was to "rest more", my low state finished and it got forgotten.
In hindsight, I never justified my broken sleep patterns in any way, the only explanation was that I sucked at sleeping.

From what I can remember, my normal and high moods last for months, I may become extremely apathetic many times throughout the year but the depression happens couple of times a year and lasts 1-3 weeks I think.
Last time it included suicidal thoughts, thoughts of worthlessness, being constantly on the edge of crying paired with an ambient frustration.

When I was 15 and unmedicated I had an episode after not sleeping for two days in which I came under the impression my father murdered my mother and barricaded myself in my room, but the episode did not continue after I forced myself to sleep. This is my only experience with "manic" symptoms and to be honest it could have just been hypomanic symptoms exacerbated through lack of sleep. My diagnosis does not include "manic" symptoms and am currently taking amphetamines in my medication cocktail and they did not send me into mania so it is unlikely I have BP1.

If you have an questions about the illness itself or if you need support please feel free to PM me

To be honest I only recently started giving attention to my emotions and moods (also the reason why I may sound naive), I usually buried all and refrained from sharing or showing up when having any kind of abnormal behavior, because I consciously and unconsciously attributed them to possible schizophrenia (and perhaps that might be the case, coupled with other things) and never really questioned or explored or talked about it, I just buried.
I too have experienced paranoia/delusional thoughts. As I said I'm not used to thinking myself in these terms, I would not have remembered the delusional moments if you didn't mentioned it.
There's another thing that I don't experience, hallucinations.
There are times that I'm hopelessly paranoid but never hallucinations or taking the paranoia too far.

proly wrote:

I see, can you tell me how your cycles go? Duration of hypomania/mania, duration of depression and other states.


Staying up for 2-3 days, there's something that doesn't happen to me. Keeping this in mind.
Anything sleep related to me is being unable to take nap, being unable to sleep at the right time, always some hours later everyday, unless I'm completely exhausted, then I'll sleep in a normal time, never earlier. If you kept track of my sleeping time one could see that it makes a circle, If i sleep today at 24:00 tomorrow I'll sleep at 2:00, the next day 3:00, the next at 6:00, etc cycling all the 24 hours. But that does have other causes as well so I'm not sure. Curiously after adapting to job couple of years ago, after a week on the job that started happening again, the 24 hour cycling of the day and it messed with my job obviously.

When I'm low in mood I take many naps, sleep for more than 10 hours a day even 14 hours a day for a week. Which resulted into my family convincing me to try medical examination. The verdict was to "rest more", my low state finished and it got forgotten.
In hindsight, I never justified my broken sleep patterns in any way, the only explanation was that I sucked at sleeping.

From what I can remember, my normal and high moods last for months, I may become extremely apathetic many times throughout the year but the depression happens couple of times a year and lasts 1-3 weeks I think.
Last time it included suicidal thoughts, thoughts of worthlessness, being constantly on the edge of crying paired with an ambient frustration.


To be honest I only recently started giving attention to my emotions and moods (also the reason why I may sound naive), I usually buried all and refrained from sharing or showing up when having any kind of abnormal behavior, because I consciously and unconsciously attributed them to possible schizophrenia (and perhaps that might be the case, coupled with other things) and never really questioned or explored or talked about it, I just buried.
I too have experienced paranoia/delusional thoughts. As I said I'm not used to thinking myself in these terms, I would not have remembered the delusional moments if you didn't mentioned it.
There's another thing that I don't experience, hallucinations.
There are times that I'm hopelessly paranoid but never hallucinations or taking the paranoia too far.

My personal experiences are unlikely to be useful as a comparison as the symptoms and duration of episodes often differs between individuals. The mental health community is revolutionizing the way in which it recognizes and categorizes mental illness and as such in recent years different diagnoses and recognition of common co-morbidities have arisen to explain the large deviation of symptoms in individuals. Please continue to monitor your mood and actions to most accurately communicate your symptoms to a health care provider, regardless of what is causing of your suffering.

The average length of time for individuals suffering from Bipolar varies greatly, due to the many forms of the illness from ultradian rapid cycling (as often as a few hours) to "classical" bipolar in which episodes can last months or years and is normally characterized by periods of hypomania (average time for individuals with BP2 is t>4 weeks with highly varied lengths). Rapid cycling is more commonly seen in BP2 as well as longer periods of depression followed by euthymia.

I rarely experience mixed episodes, but my depressive episodes and the residual effects seem to last 2 months +. When I experienced mixed episodes prior to being medicated I estimated that they lasted roughly 2 weeks or more and were generally followed immediately by severe depressive episodes co morbid with anxiety.

Experiencing hallucinations is not necessarily a component of BiPolar and is associated with the Mania of BP1.

Since I experience mixed episodes I am probably a bad person to ask about personal experiences with hypomania as the manifestations of my symptoms may differ greatly with those of others and I am much more familiar with the depressive symptoms except I'm energized lol.

I would be sure to tell this information to your medical practitioner, particularly the information relating to your sleep cycle. Have you ever been examined for a sleep or neurological disorder?

Please take care and speak with a health professional honestly about your symptoms