Hello everyone! I am a long time reader- new user to this website and was seeking advice from individuals who may be able to relate to my situations.
I'm a 20 year old University student who was diagnosed roughly five years ago with diagnosed with BiPolar Mixed Episodes characterized through depressive dysphoria and although I have been on many cocktails, I currently take;
Divalproex 1000mg
Modafinil 400mg
Clonazepam- .75 prn
Lorazepam- 0.5 prn
I am currently attempting to double major in Finance and Accounting, yet despite maintaining high grades, involvement in student organizations, and competitions, I recognize that I cannot continue functioning onward in this manner without seriously damaging my health. I have been voluntarily hospitalized twice over the past year, once from the onset of hypomanic symptoms from working overnights on Fri Sat and Sunday and going to school 10 hours five days a week, and once for a severe depressive episode.
My University is extremely understanding of my situation (mainly due to the long list of documentation) and I could abandon this semester while my doctors and I try and find a med cocktail that works with no academic penalty. However I am extremely reluctant to do this as I would feel that the illness is controlling aspects of my life and I loathe to relinquish autonomy. My grades are high and I can still pass but I can tell that my emotional state is leading towards a severe episode coupled with poor sleep.
I just wish this illness didn't alter the life I choose to live