I'm almost 18 and im lost (Marijuana)

Hello my name is daniel, I am 17 and about to turn 18. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 disorder. I have been on medication since I was 6 (amxiety). When I was about 15 I started to feel very drastic mood shifts. I had no idea what it was. My doctor and parents now know I have bipolar. I have been switched around on medications all the time.

My current medications are: Saraquel 300mg PM
Lymictal 200mg PM
Welbutron 150mg AM
Zoloft 150mg AM

I do not notice anything except for saraquel. Saraquel knocks me out and keeps me ""asleep"" or distant.
I was raised in a great environment and I don't have any family issues or any kind of hardships besides psychological issues.

2 months ago I was admitted to a psych hospital for suicidal thoughts and intentions. After I was discharged I really did not feel any different.

I have tried Marijuana, and immidiatley noticed it is hard to think about the past or anything unimportant. I'm saying this because I know for me it really does help. Of course I only use it when I need it. I also don't like a lot of it. Just enough to help me keep my head on right.

I feel very good, even if I'm not "on it" I still feel better because it does help me. Yes I am guilty using it and I know it is illigal, but if it helps me and I am the only one who knows that why would I resist and keep the pain inside. That's all I do. I keep the pain inside

I guess I can't tell anyone and I have to wait to get my med card. Any advice?

All doctors I have spoken to insisted that marijuana is the worst drug for a bipolar person, because it just switches moods randomly. It is not as easy either as "you smoke and you feel depressed/manic in x hours" -- it's more like playing pool and hitting the white ball that hits the red one that hits the yellow and gods know what the end result of the game will be (if I'm playing -- losing )

It is possible your medication is not chosen correctly. It is, also, possible that marijuana messes up with it and with your brain chemistry so much that it's impossible to adapt it correctly. I know you feel weed makes you feel better -- I used to feel alcohol made me feel better. It's called "self-medicating" and makes your doctors' lives much harder.

At the end it is up to you whether you continue using or not. For me the gamble was not worth it. I haven't drank a drop or used any drugs for almost a year and I feel much more stable now.

There is a reason they call it "Dope."

Just be careful. I know weed can feel great, it has helped me a lot during depressive episodes. Also, I have to say I love the high! BUT... It can be dangerous, especially for someone with mental health issues. It can exacerbate pre-existing symptoms and induce some other not-so-nice stuff. I know that if I'm slightly anxious or agitated smoking weed is the worst thing I can do. It makes everything worse, panic starts to kick in, and I get so focused on my symptoms that it's hard to function.

I say this from personal experience, I was a very heavy smoker for many years, but lately I hardly ever smoke. Anxiety and agitation have been dominant these past few months. When I try to smoke a little just to see how it goes I always regret it. It sucks, because I really enjoyed smoking and sometimes it was even therapeutic, but the cons heavily outweigh the pros, at least right now. I've lost a lot of weight, since my appetite is virtually non-existent at the moment, and the weed helped me a lot with this, but it's just not worth it.

I have to agree with Oliveira - it's too unpredictable and it might be hindering the effect your meds are supposed to have. This is something you should keep in mind when deciding if you should smoke or not. Also, tell your doctor. Your doctor needs to know drugs you take, for your own safety!

hi

I reallly understand the wish to self medicate to make things feel a bit better. The problem is that marijuana is known to be really bad in BP and will likely cause more problems than it solves and this is likely to be the case with other self medicating too. I think it is really important that you talk to your Dr about this as your meds may need addressing plus it is important they know about the drug use.

Things can be better than they are atm but you do need to talk to your Dr

Hugs

Cracked

Thanks for the replies guys. To my personal experience, marijuana helps when i am anxious and agitated i use Indica, which has more canabinoids than THC. I do know that feeling when you smoke and you are adjitated it makes it worse. THC makes it worse. Sativa makes it worse because it has more THC and less Canabinoids. Personally i hate Sitiva and THC, i dislike the high and i dislike the feeling, even if i am depressed i still hate it. What helps me is indica, it calms things. I dont like to get completely STONED, but just a little more relaxed. I dont smoke every day ore even every week. And i dont smoke a lot. I moved from virginia to california, and the california is much stronger encouriging me to use less. I dont need a stoned effect, even though it is relaxing to be content inside my world, but i feel more free with a little. Like i can think about depressing things, but instead of being depressed i can see the entire thing like a clear tunnel with light at the end. i am not intoxicated either. Also i heared use of cannabis in the past from someone with bipolar increases nerocognative concentration. Even though i do not care and dont want to throw around facts that i cant prove to make an excuse

Well, you seem pretty educated on what you're using, and why it may be helping. I don't know anything about medical marijuana, but maybe a doctor out in California can advise you on this. In my opinion, based solely on what you're saying about its effects and how infrequently you turn to that, I think it's alright. As long as you don't have an addictive personality and you haven't experienced any negative effects from it.

I wouldn't turn to it personally. Marijuana was a factor in my worst depression to date, but that was low grade street stuff, so it's not relevant to your case.

Personally for me whenever I ingest or be near any chemical or product I always research each chemical in the compound and how it directly and indirectly affects my brain and the rest of my body. More specifically on the Indica type of Marijuana I'm not trying to "get high" I am more comfortable with myself and less stressed while having CBSs in my system. I usually don't get low end street stuff. I usually have a strong indica, but use it infrequently and in small amounts. Thanks for all of the replies, it really helps.

Also many say that it only helps when I am on it, and it makes reality a little less "good" and you are right! It only works when it is working. Just like any other drug or medication in the world! What if I stopped taking my saraquel? It would get ugly. That's why I think medical marijuana can help me.