Can't hack life.

I'm struggling today because I can't seem to get a handle on life. I can't keep up with the house work and all the kids homework just the basic day to day stuff. I don't really think it is bipolar related just talking here because I can speak rather freely here. Wife's car is broken and sub freezing temps so this weekend I will be freezing my ass off trying to fix her car while more of life slips past. I can't seem to get my $#%^ together. I feel so overwhelmed right now. Everywhere I look there is something that needs to be done, I can't get to all of it. I'm sorry if I seem a little whiney but it may be simple stuff but to me it just shows me to be more of an incompetant failure. I suck at life.
-FML

Yes, the routine of living in a family can become quite overwhelming at times.
I use to complain that my two toddlers could be wrecking two rooms while I tried to clean up one. Picking up toys was an endless task. I gave up and would hide in bed every evening and all weekend. I left everything to my wife. She did an amazing job raising our boys, but my mood disorder ended our relationship.

Let your wife know that you love and appreciate her, and love the kids but life seem overwhelming right now. You are not going to quit, but you just can't do everything that is needed. Talk about priorities and concentrate on the most important ones. I'd say your relationship with your children and wife comes first.

Stay in touch here, if it is a safe place for you to share, and you feel supported. I see the forum as an amazing place to make contact with people who have a shared experience.

Take care,

Hey.

I don't have opinions of my own right at the moment, but.. *hugs*

From having read your previous posts, I've to say this - you're a truly strong person. So, please hang in there. I sincerely hope for the betterment of conditions. We're also hanging in here for you.

And lastly, this -

skilsaw wrote:Stay in touch here, if it is a safe place for you to share, and you feel supported. I see the forum as an amazing place to make contact with people who have a shared experience.

I agree. You really did get the crappy end of the stick, but got to be strong to keep plugging through. I know how it feels to not be able to get a grip on life. When I was taking care of my father after his motorcycle accident, I didn't ever think I'd be able to get a grip on life. It really is difficult, but hopefully you get a break for at least one day. Keep talking, we are all ears. I enjoy talking on here myself because I can say anything without judgement.

Hey guys, thanks for chiming in. It is good to know that I am heard. I do not have a good support system at home so I just keep chugging along. Sometimes I think I am strong but sometimes I think I am weak but good at taking 'abuse'. My little engine that could story goes more like this...
I think I can, I think I can, I think can, too much...I'm not sure I can, I think I can, nope I can't, I think I can, eh screw it what's the point of even trying!
Not such a good bed time story.

I don't know how old your kids are but if they're doing their homework maybe its time for them to have responsibilities and chores. They could do dishes and laundry and clean up after themselves. I know I was in first grade. Also how much is your wife doing to help? I know that when I was in grade school my parents weren't allowed to help me on homework?

Why do I have to keep doing this? Why do I have to be responsible? I was raised and taught that this is what I do.....but really why? It's too much, I am tired. tired of going out of my way for everyone else. I've got more than the short end of the stick, it's covered in crap. The worst part is that I saw it was the short end and that it was covered in crap and I said, 'oohhh, I want that.' I'm holding on, but why? Because it will get better, because there is some payout at the end? Maybe because of love? It's hard and I don't think I can do it anymore. So, no I'm not strong at least not strong enough. I used to think I was so great but that was just my warped hypomanic mind. Now I know though, my illness is no longer a secret to me. I know I am not great and I can't do it all. The evidence has been there all along.

Hugs wretched

Remind me do you see a therapist? It might be they can help you work on this all and how you feel about yourself. I think it could really help you. I hope this finds you doing a little better. please be kind to yourself.

Hugs

Cracked

wretched1 wrote:Why do I have to keep doing this? Why do I have to be responsible? I was raised and taught that this is what I do.....but really why? It's too much, I am tired. tired of going out of my way for everyone else. I've got more than the short end of the stick, it's covered in crap. The worst part is that I saw it was the short end and that it was covered in crap and I said, 'oohhh, I want that.' I'm holding on, but why? Because it will get better, because there is some payout at the end? Maybe because of love? It's hard and I don't think I can do it anymore. So, no I'm not strong at least not strong enough. I used to think I was so great but that was just my warped hypomanic mind. Now I know though, my illness is no longer a secret to me. I know I am not great and I can't do it all. The evidence has been there all along.

None of us are born to be a superman, -mom, -dad, -partner and so on, even though society (or we, when we're in our manic state! : P) thinks we should/must cope with ten or more things at time. You're a failure, because you don't own a nice car! Failure, because there are dirty dishes in the sink and you have to repaint the house, but you'd rather be sleeping or watching TV! Failure, because, you know, everyone else can, why can't you?!

What I mean is don't beat yourself up just because you're not in the mood to do everyday tasks. I know it's hard when you have a family, but everyone deserves "alone time" now and then. We are so caught up in thinking what we must do, rather just paus and think what'd be best for us and our mental health/well-being.

And you know that "be strong" thing? I get that a lot, but as I see it, it means you just have to be clear about your own needs, thoughts and feelings. Just for once, sit down and figure out what it is that bothers you the most. Solve it, and move on to the next thing. It has helped me and I hope it'll help someone else, too.

We don't always have to be good samaritians, because somewhere in the process we'll lose ourselves. And then the helper transforms into victim himself.

Don't have a solution for you. I think you are more looking for a listening ear. I do understand that. I too at times feel the same way or similar to what you describe. I see a therapist and I get a boost there. Sometimes I just lay down and take a nap to rest my brain and all it's negativity that's going through my head. I wake up and seems I've forgotten my last thought and can sometimes feel refreshed. But this is just me. Hoping you don't feel quite overwhelmed anymore.