Do you ever feel like this?

For the past week or so, I have been lying in bed sleeping all day and all night... but yesterday, when I woke up, I felt like a different person. My whole perspective changed, and I still feel it. I feel energetic and awake. I have not slept yet.

I am a senior in high school and have been missing school for weeks. I used to be a straight A student, but now I am not even making D's... I feel like a failure, but right now, a happy failure. A few days ago, I could barely get up to eat. I didn't shower, talk to anyone, or move from my bed.

Why does this happen? Why am I different now? It is so isolating.
I don't want to be around anyone else because I never feel like "myself." This isn't who I used to be.

sunnyray wrote:For the past week or so, I have been lying in bed sleeping all day and all night... but yesterday, when I woke up, I felt like a different person. My whole perspective changed, and I still feel it. I feel energetic and awake. I have not slept yet.

I am a senior in high school and have been missing school for weeks. I used to be a straight A student, but now I am not even making D's... I feel like a failure, but right now, a happy failure. A few days ago, I could barely get up to eat. I didn't shower, talk to anyone, or move from my bed.

Why does this happen? Why am I different now? It is so isolating.
I don't want to be around anyone else because I never feel like "myself." This isn't who I used to be.

Sounds like you could do with seeing a medical professional but based on my experiences it sounds like your mood is not too stable atm and you could use some input. I find with my BP it is not uncommon to switch between two extremes of mood and go from being high to low or low to high. When my mood goes off I find the best thing to do is to see my psych to try to nip it in the bud.

In terms of high school are they aware you are struggling with your mood at all? It might be worth letting someone there know so they can cut you some slack as it sounds like it is proving difficult to keep up with things there.

What help do you have with the BP?

Take good care

Hugs

Cracked

Is this a roundabout question of possible BP, or have you actually got diagnosis of it?

Just curious. Sounds about same as my depressive swings, though. Couldn't peel myself off bed, slept 16+ hours per day, not hungry.. And then it ends just as suddenly as it started, waking up to new swing and not needing any sleep for few days straight. :p

Happy failure is interesting feeling. I get that too. Optimistic plans with naturally pessimistic view of life - makes often quite interesting combination.

Regardless what your answer to the first question was, if you're worried about not being yourself you should consider getting medical help to stabilize your mood. Would cut off the extremes.

I was diagnosed in mid-Jan. Before then, I was diagnosed with depression, took Zoloft (which led to mania).
Psychiatrist is taking me off Zoloft while weaning me onto Lamictal. Right now, I take 25mg Zoloft and 75mg Lamictal. The Lamictal is taking forever to work!
I am on "intermittent home bound" which means I can stay home from school if I need to.
It seems that everything is going pretty well despite the school work (& my many zeros)

It's refreshing to talk to people who understand. I thought no one would get what I meant by "happy failure". thank you so much.

Recommended minimum dose of Lamictal alone for preventing depression is about 200mg daily (iirc conversation I had with psychiatrist about my meds). Depending what you'll get for keeping (hypo)mania in control, it may work at lower doses because some of the meds multiply each others' effects. Lamictal+Deprakine for example.

So increasing it slowly to proper level may take a while. Just getting to 50+50mg took me 5 weeks.. <.<

I find that my moods are very spontaneous, dramatic, and irrelevant. Like sometimes I feel like I'm riding this depression deeper and deeper and then all of a sudden I can't stop laughing and dancing and it's actually very concerning for people around me. Also, I had my first psychotic mania when my grandma died, so being a happy failure is certainly not a stretch!

A little over three weeks ago I was on top of the world about to go back to college. I could do anything. I woke up one day and its a struggle just to get through the days. I went from thinking I didnt need therapy and meds to increased therapy and meds... I know the feeling.

Im at 225 mg at Lamictal an we are still slowly increasing. I also take 100mg. of Topamax.