Insomnia? Or DSPD? I'm confused!

I was prescribed Zolpidem by the doctor. I have vivid and intense dreams irrespective of my mood. Although, extremely vivid when I'm depressed. I had really bad headaches during the daytime when I took Zolpidem. But, after three doses, it was proving to be ineffective. I told my doc this today.* I stopped taking zolpidem like a week ago.

*ranting starts*

I've not been able to sleep properly since a week. Less than 6 hours of sleep, everyday, with those stupid baseless vivid dreams. I'm now currently running on a nocturnal schedule. I tried sleeping today around 8 a.m. in the morning. Woke up within 4 hours. With heavy baggy eyes. I tried to go back to sleep again. No result. None. Nada. I'm not sure if this insomnia. Sometimes, I sleep around 6 a.m. (i'm almost incapable of going to sleep before 4 unless I'm depressed) and wake up with a 7 hours of sleep. Which should be enough for me. But, thanks to my dreams, I hardly feel like I slept, anyway.

I'll be honest. I love night-time. Right from the starting. It excites me. It's enigmatic. Mysterious. I love it. I love the feeling. I love going out during night-time. It's awesome. In-fact, sometimes, during the day time, I keep my curtains closed.

During the semester at school, I feel sleepy all day long in lectures and study mostly during night-time. But, I'm not sure if that's the result of my nocturnal activities (since I get used to night-time) or I actually have Delayed sleep phase disorder (DSPD).

I just can't seem to get a proper sleep pattern.

I'm really tired right now, and my eyes need some rest, but, I'm still awake writing this post. Because the sleep. The f***ing sleep. I close my eyes, and nothing. I tried concentrating, believe me, I did.

Also, what's with me shaking with my heartbeats? I lie down and I can clearly hear (feel?) my heartbeat. I shake with every beat of my heart. It gives me the feeling of earthquake. I'm not sure if I'm hypomanic, though. I haven't done anything weird recently. But, if I see my friends for dinner or anything, I get overly-excited. Which is normal me, I guess.

Seriously, though. What's with bipolar and sleep patterns? I tired of this sh*t, already. Guess, time to see a different doc? My current doc told me to keep a sleep diary so that he could understand it more. 2 more weeks, and I'll see him again.

*ranting ends*

Thanks for listening.

*Thanks for your words Invicta in "Intense and Vivid Dreams" thread. I'm sorry to say that I couldn't keep my spirit up.

Wow, things have been tough for you, man! I'm so sorry, I know how bad it sucks to have your sleeping patterns all messed up. And with the nightmares and vivid dreams on top? That's too much!

What did your doctor tell you about stopping the Zolpidem? Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you should've stuck with it just a bit longer? I know side effects are a pain, and it's even worse when the meds aren't doing what they're supposed to, but sometimes it takes a while to kick in. I don't know the specifics of your situation, I know it depends a lot on a lot of things, I'm just throwing it out there! Did your doctor agree with you stopping? Did he recommend anything else that might work?

Your situation must be really weighing on you. Not sleeping, dreams, never feeling well rested after waking up... That starts building up, it's frustrating and it's even more frustrating when there's nothing we can do about it. I hate to know you're having to go through that!

As for the DSPD, I don't know much about it. Is there any way to test for that? Maybe you should see a neurologist? Sometimes we tend to attribute every symptom to the BD when in fact there could other underlying problems. I'd check for that if I were you!

zetamext123 wrote:Also, what's with me shaking with my heartbeats? I lie down and I can clearly hear (feel?) my heartbeat. I shake with every beat of my heart. It gives me the feeling of earthquake. I'm not sure if I'm hypomanic, though. I haven't done anything weird recently. But, if I see my friends for dinner or anything, I get overly-excited. Which is normal me, I guess.

You get that too?? I hate it! It's like I'm constantly aware of my heart beating! It's not like it's beating too fast or anything, I just can't stop being aware that it's there! Do you have it always? For me it happens sometimes, but not everyday. Although there are periods when it happens always for a few weeks. I can't even sleep on my left, it feels like it's worse. And sometimes it feels like I'm falling asleep, but still conscious, and I'll get startled awake by a heartbeat. I can't explain it better than this, it's kinda horrible. When this happens is when my sleep is at its worst - I don't sleep enough hours, it takes forever to fall asleep, stupid dreams, never sure if I'm awake or not, panicking when I wake up with a startle... I truly hate it! Does this sound familiar to you? Please let me know if you find out anything about this. I'll see my pdoc in two or three weeks and I'll be sure to ask her about it. I'll let you know what I find.

Anyway, if you want my opinion, why don't you stick with this doctor for a few weeks more? Keep the sleep diary and see what he tells you in two weeks. I'm sure you're feeling a bit impatient right now, but your doctor needs some information before deciding what to do. I'm assuming you trust and like your doctor! In the meantime, you can always check with a neurologist or a GP to get different perspectives. Are there any sleep clinics or similar in your area? Both my dad and brother have gone through a sleep study for apnea problems. You either spend the night at their facilities or take a portable device home to monitor several biosignals to aid with diagnosis.

Whatever you choose to do, I truly hope you can find some relief. Keep ranting and venting here, don't keep it all inside you! All the best.

My doctor told me that the awareness of one's heartbeat is a sign of high anxiety level. No idea if that is correct but my anxiety has gone down in the last months, and the awareness of heartbeat (yup, had it) is gone.

Oliveira, completely agree! My anxiety levels are through the roof when this happens. Thanks for the input, this is a really weird symptom.

I had a friend who went to the doctor to make sure his heart was okay. He was having panic attacks and he could hear his heartbeat, which freaked him out. The doc put him on a beta blocker for the heartbeat and xanax for the panic attacks. He doesn't hear his heartbeat anymore.

But I think Oliveira probably hit it on the head by stating it's caused by high anxiety levels.

invicta wrote:What did your doctor tell you about stopping the Zolpidem? Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you should've stuck with it just a bit longer? I know side effects are a pain, and it's even worse when the meds aren't doing what they're supposed to, but sometimes it takes a while to kick in. I don't know the specifics of your situation, I know it depends a lot on a lot of things, I'm just throwing it out there! Did your doctor agree with you stopping? Did he recommend anything else that might work?

My doc told me to stop the sleeping pills for now. I'll keep the sleep diary for two weeks. And, you're right. I should've stuck a bit longer. In all honesty (which I didn't tell my doc about), I was feeling good (in terms of excitement and energy) lately and forcing myself to sleep at night to take sleeping pills seemed kind of torturing. I was sleeping more than 8 hours with pills. And, I felt like it's going to throw me into another low-mood state. I guess, I should be spared for this first time mistake? I admit I didn't have enough willpower.

As for the DSPD, I don't know much about it. Is there any way to test for that? Maybe you should see a neurologist? Sometimes we tend to attribute every symptom to the BD when in fact there could other underlying problems. I'd check for that if I were you!

Yes, I'd thought of doing the same earlier. I read on wikipedia that DSPD can be "diagnosed by a clinical interview, actigraphic monitoring and/or a sleep diary kept by the patient for at least three weeks." I guess, that's what my doc is onto.

It's not like it's beating too fast or anything, I just can't stop being aware that it's there! Do you have it always? For me it happens sometimes, but not everyday. Although there are periods when it happens always for a few weeks. I can't even sleep on my left, it feels like it's worse.

Ditto. My heartbeat rate is normal. But, I'm hyper-aware of it. And, it's worst when I'm not sleeping much. Or when I'm having issues with falling asleep. As you mentioned, it continues for weeks, sometimes. It's annoying to say the least. So difficult to concentrate and sleep with those nagging heartbeats.
I don't (or maybe I do?) recall of being that aware of my heart-beats when I'm depressed or low in mood. I'm not sure. But, it keeps happening.

When this happens is when my sleep is at its worst - I don't sleep enough hours, it takes forever to fall asleep, stupid dreams, never sure if I'm awake or not, panicking when I wake up with a startle... I truly hate it! Does this sound familiar to you? Please let me know if you find out anything about this. I'll see my pdoc in two or three weeks and I'll be sure to ask her about it. I'll let you know what I find.

It sounds familiar to me? Hell, it feels home to me. I'll definitely let you know if I get to know anything about it. I forgot to talk about it with my doc last time I saw him. I'll make sure to mention it to him next time.

Anyway, if you want my opinion, why don't you stick with this doctor for a few weeks more? Keep the sleep diary and see what he tells you in two weeks. I'm sure you're feeling a bit impatient right now, but your doctor needs some information before deciding what to do. I'm assuming you trust and like your doctor!

Yes, you're right about sticking with this doc. But, here's the thing: The doc revealed to me that he's here in the city only until April. (I'm seeing the one at University hospital.) Before leaving, he'll refer me to another doc in the field at the hospital, who in his own words, "is an experienced, amazing and a senior doc." Now, I'm kind of (although only a little) bummed that I'll have to talk all over right from the starting with the new one. I definitely like and trust the current doc. I feel like he gets it when I try to explain things.

oliveira wrote:My doctor told me that the awareness of one's heartbeat is a sign of high anxiety level. No idea if that is correct but my anxiety has gone down in the last months, and the awareness of heartbeat (yup, had it) is gone.

Wow. I just ran a google search and there does seem a kind of relation between anxiety and heartbeat awareness.

electricbipolar wrote:I had a friend who went to the doctor to make sure his heart was okay. He was having panic attacks and he could hear his heartbeat, which freaked him out. The doc put him on a beta blocker for the heartbeat and xanax for the panic attacks. He doesn't hear his heartbeat anymore.

But I think Oliveira probably hit it on the head by stating it's caused by high anxiety levels.

I'm not sure, but, I think I've had two moments which resemble panic attacks. But, both times, I was high on coffee. Frankly, I do not really understand what anxiety is. I do torture myself over stupid scenarios which are not that likely to happen. For instance, issues related to academics - that I must perform well in every lecture and I'm in a constant fear of failing to do so. To the point that I sometimes feel suffocated during exam times.

Thanks a lot for the replies! I find a lot of comfort, here. Thanks!

zetamext123 wrote:My doc told me to stop the sleeping pills for now. I'll keep the sleep diary for two weeks. And, you're right. I should've stuck a bit longer. In all honesty (which I didn't tell my doc about), I was feeling good (in terms of excitement and energy) lately and forcing myself to sleep at night to take sleeping pills seemed kind of torturing. I was sleeping more than 8 hours with pills. And, I felt like it's going to throw me into another low-mood state. I guess, I should be spared for this first time mistake? I admit I didn't have enough willpower.

Totally understandable! It's really hard when you're feeling good and have to take meds. I know I feel like a little brat... "I don't wanna go to sleep, I'm not tired!" But it's good that you're aware of that. Maybe you'd consider telling your doctor this next time? It might influence his advice if he knows why you stopped. I know it's not easy to admit, but it might benefit you.

zetamext123 wrote:Yes, you're right about sticking with this doc. But, here's the thing: The doc revealed to me that he's here in the city only until April. (I'm seeing the one at University hospital.) Before leaving, he'll refer me to another doc in the field at the hospital, who in his own words, "is an experienced, amazing and a senior doc." Now, I'm kind of (although only a little) bummed that I'll have to talk all over right from the starting with the new one. I definitely like and trust the current doc. I feel like he gets it when I try to explain things.

Oooh, that sucks! Having to start over is a real bummer, especially when you trust and like your current doctor. But it's a good thing your current doctor is referring you to another. It seems like you trust him, so it's a safe bet that the next one will be a good doctor. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

zetamext123 wrote:I'm not sure, but, I think I've had two moments which resemble panic attacks. But, both times, I was high on coffee. Frankly, I do not really understand what anxiety is. I do torture myself over stupid scenarios which are not that likely to happen. For instance, issues related to academics - that I must perform well in every lecture and I'm in a constant fear of failing to do so. To the point that I sometimes feel suffocated during exam times.

I personally distinguish between two different "anxieties" (no scientific anything here, just how I see my own feelings!). There's the reactive "normal" anxiety - for example, before giving a presentation on a conference, I get anxious. For me this is adaptive and even healthy, as long as it doesn't cross a certain limit. It's this anxiety that gives me the motivation to work on my presentation, rehearse it, and so on. I think everyone experiences this before tests, exams, important days, etc. If it crosses that limit, then you get to the point of anxiety disorders, which are usually (but not always) specific. For example, phobias, social anxiety, etc.

Then there's the "bipolar anxiety" (again, this is just what I call it!). It has no reason attached to it, nothing causes it, it just comes out of the blue. The feeling is generally the same, but usually it comes with agitation and restlessness too. Sometimes it's very light, and it feels good. Sort of like when you're anticipating something you long for. Imagine you're a kid and you're going to disneyland tomorrow. That feeling! However, usually it starts increasing and turns to something horrible. I get that feeling in my stomach, lots of physical symptoms like tingling and numbness, can't sit still, can't concentrate, can't sleep, can't... nothing! I don't know how else to describe it, it's just hell. It's like being in a constant state of near-panic. It can go on for days, sometimes weeks. Hate it! I don't really think about anything, I'm not afraid of anything specific, it's all body.

Did I make any sense?

invicta wrote:I personally distinguish between two different "anxieties" (no scientific anything here, just how I see my own feelings!). There's the reactive "normal" anxiety - for example, before giving a presentation on a conference, I get anxious. For me this is adaptive and even healthy, as long as it doesn't cross a certain limit. It's this anxiety that gives me the motivation to work on my presentation, rehearse it, and so on. I think everyone experiences this before tests, exams, important days, etc. If it crosses that limit, then you get to the point of anxiety disorders, which are usually (but not always) specific. For example, phobias, social anxiety, etc.

Yes, I understood this one from your post. (And, lack of this kind of anxiety highlights my depressive periods.)

Now that you mention presentation, I remember so worked up before a presentation, I just couldn't sit in my chair properly for even 30 seconds. Those 20 minutes seemed so slow and irritating. My concentration was literally below zero. I felt like I was going mad. I seriously wished I had alcohol with me. We were on 10th floor of the building and I wanted to jump out of window to calm myself down. Once the presentation was done, everything returned back to normal. Such a relief.

However, usually it starts increasing and turns to something horrible. I get that feeling in my stomach, lots of physical symptoms like tingling and numbness, can't sit still, can't concentrate, can't sleep, can't... nothing! I don't know how else to describe it, it's just hell. It's like being in a constant state of near-panic. It can go on for days, sometimes weeks.

I get it, totally.

I'll talk to my doctor about it. Thanks a lot for the detailed replies!