bipolar and emotional abuse

I've been improving this week with my change in meds. I feel like something has lifted from my shoulders, and I'm thinking about the past in a new way.

I finally understand how this bipolar disorder came about. I may have had a predisposition, but for 25 years, not much in the way of symptoms.

I have to be honest with myself. My ex, whom I was with for 7 years, was an emotional abuser. He was a jerk. He used to put me down, when he felt insecure. He wanted everything and gave nothing. He made me feel like it was me who was the problem. He isolated me from friends and family. He did this to me for seven years, and I allowed it, because I was scared to leave. I did not stand up for myself. I didn't even admit to myself, that it was emotional abuse. I was understanding, he was just a bit 'different' and didn't know how to be nice. Just as I got the guts to leave, I was the victim of a fierce psychological attack at work. The deliberate attempt to destroy my mind.

I am not being paranoid. This is what happened to me. I allowed this to happen because of complete denial, by minimising what they were doing to me. And the bipolar developed in the wake of this psychological abuse.

I do not, and I will not, accept or give anything less than the best in relationships. I plan to pursue a career and not be afraid, because now I know how to defend myself. I will not be vulnerable.

I can relate to this situation in a different way. When in a state of depression, it is easy to be vulnerable, but to be able to overcome it takes a strong mind.

Take care!

Abuse of any kind can be debilitating. BB, as you said, it destroyed your life.

We need to be strong and not tolerate abuse.
We need to be emotionally and mentally strong.
The irony is that have a successful loving relationship, we need to be trusting and vulnerable.
I'm not saying lay all your cards on the table at the time you first meet.
Slowly reveal your deep personal self as you develop trust.

I hope you heal and become strong again and have the opportunity to enter a truly loving relationship.

Take care,

skilsaw wrote:Abuse of any kind can be debilitating. BB, as you said, it destroyed your life.

We need to be strong and not tolerate abuse.
We need to be emotionally and mentally strong.
The irony is that have a successful loving relationship, we need to be trusting and vulnerable.
I'm not saying lay all your cards on the table at the time you first meet.
Slowly reveal your deep personal self as you develop trust.

I hope you heal and become strong again and have the opportunity to enter a truly loving relationship.

Take care,

This is such beautiful advice. I was lucky to find my husband four years ago, which was three years after I ditched the ex. The baggage of the past however affects the present. I have been hypersensitive at times with my husband , anytime the situation reminds me of the past. A loving relationship can help with healing. I think your advice also applies to coming out of the safe zone and getting out in the world. It's easier to forgive my ex, because his abusive behaviour was due to immaturity and a self-centred nature that could not fathom the give and take in a relationship. But the attack in the workplace was premeditated and vicious. I need to be able to move forward without seeing everything through the prism of the abuser. Until I redevelop faith in myself and in others, he will still hold power over me.

bipolarbirdie, I have gone through exact same thing at work, and I agree with your conclusion -- you and me both need to re-develop faith in ourselves without seeing ourselves through the abuser prism. Now we both know it, there's just a small matter of doing it -- but I believe it's possible too.

Big hugs and keep strong!

bipolarbirdie wrote:I've been improving this week with my change in meds. I feel like something has lifted from my shoulders, and I'm thinking about the past in a new way.

I finally understand how this bipolar disorder came about. I may have had a predisposition, but for 25 years, not much in the way of symptoms.

I have to be honest with myself. My ex, whom I was with for 7 years, was an emotional abuser. He was a jerk. He used to put me down, when he felt insecure. He wanted everything and gave nothing. He made me feel like it was me who was the problem. He isolated me from friends and family. He did this to me for seven years, and I allowed it, because I was scared to leave. I did not stand up for myself. I didn't even admit to myself, that it was emotional abuse. I was understanding, he was just a bit 'different' and didn't know how to be nice. Just as I got the guts to leave, I was the victim of a fierce psychological attack at work. The deliberate attempt to destroy my mind.

I am not being paranoid. This is what happened to me. I allowed this to happen because of complete denial, by minimising what they were doing to me. And the bipolar developed in the wake of this psychological abuse.

I do not, and I will not, accept or give anything less than the best in relationships. I plan to pursue a career and not be afraid, because now I know how to defend myself. I will not be vulnerable.

The exact same thing happened to me. I was also in denial, I wasn't attacked at worked, but I was spyied on all the aspects of my life, I was terrified. I was forced by people I love to leave that place and that person. I was left with permanent damage and I developed mental disorders. (not bipolar I had that before) I just very recently started the road to healing. It's good that you're determined to stand up for yourself, pursue a carreer and always try to be the best, never forget your worth.

I was involved in an physically and emotionally abusive relationship and subsequently working with this person I am sure contributed towards me crashing so spectacularly 6 years ago. We absolutely do not deserve abuse and we are strong to come through it and out the other side. You certainly are a strong person from what I have seen and you deserve only good things. I am glad you are no longer in that relationship

Cracked

Hi guys,
I just want to say thanks so much for responding and for all of the kind words.

I can't believe that this happens to so many people, that we have to try and deal with it in silence, and alone.

The kind words need to be for all of you as well. Know that you didn't deserve it, that you were picked because you were a wonderful person and unfortunately a threat to the bully. And just like you said to me, know that you have a great deal of worth and a lot to offer the world.

bipolarbirdie wrote:Hi guys,
I just want to say thanks so much for responding and for all of the kind words.

I can't believe that this happens to so many people, that we have to try and deal with it in silence, and alone.

The kind words need to be for all of you as well. Know that you didn't deserve it, that you were picked because you were a wonderful person and unfortunately a threat to the bully. And just like you said to me, know that you have a great deal of worth and a lot to offer the world.

Thank you for this. And yes it affects a lot of ppl and they keep quiet about stuff that really is evil. I am glad you spoke up- that is brave and also I believe speaking out starts to take the power away from what happened as it is no longer keeping the secret.

Cracked