Does this sound like typical bipolar mania? Help?

So I have a host of various disorders. One of them being bipolar. I also have borderline personality, so sometimes the two together confuse me but I am starting to understand the difference. Anyways This is about the third time I have gone through a drawn out full mania. I take a couple of different pills for sleep and still can't sleep. In fact despite the very large dosages of these pills some nights I seriously lie awake THE ENTIRE NIGHT. And this happens at least every other day. So I am getting very little sleep. (Yet I am very energetic.)They used to practically make me immobile. I also only eat one meal a day and honestly don't have the desire to eat it. I pretty much force it down. I am also a bit paranoid and keep thinking I see things out of the corner of my eye. I am twitchy and can't stop moving. And I think the worst part is the thoughts and how DISORGANIZED they are. The only way to explain it is that I keep getting derailed. I will be on one train of thought and the next minute I lose sight of what I was trying to explain and can't even remember. I also stop mid sentence when writing things and have to reread them because I forget what I was writing about. I think it's because there are so many thoughts swirling around my head. I am also generally in a very good mood and very optimistic which is highly unusual for me as I have been in the psych unit about 62 times for suicidal thoughts and attempts. And I am 25 years old. So yes this is unusual. I am also talking to myself all day at a very fast pace.. Does this sound like mania? I am on five medications and I kept forgetting to make an appointment with the doctor so finally HE made me one and that is tomorrow. I think the part that is concerning me is the unclear thought patterns. Oh and I ramble,, obviously.

Hi Leslieslsa,
You certainly are having a difficult time aren't you!
Jumbled thinking and needing so little sleep must be exhausting.

The good news is that you are going to see the doctor tomorrow. They are the ones to sort out our symptoms and make a diagnoses. Your doctor will be able to tell you what he makes of your experiences.

Take care,

Here is an afterthought. If you are worried that you won't explain your experiences well due to your jumbled thinking, then print your note above and take a copy of it to the doctor. Your note is really quite clear and coherent.

Hey there, Leslieslsa!

I agree with skilsaw, you do seem to have a lot to deal with, sorry to hear that. It must be very hard for you having to cope with several disorders. There are other people on this board with diagnoses of BD and BPD, maybe you can reach out to them, if you'd like. I remember a couple of threads about it from a while ago.

Keeping in mind (as always) that nobody here is going to give you a professional opinion, I can give you my personal opinion as someone with BD. What you describe does sound like (hypo)mania (I have some trouble distinguishing between the two!).

For me, not sleeping and not eating are two of the most relevant signs that I'm not doing so good. I go for days with only a couple of hours of sleep per night, but still feel energetic and capable of accomplishing a lot. Even with the pills I take, which usually knock me out instantly... I also can't eat, I don't feel hunger. It's like I have to force food down my throat! I call it "gastric bypass syndrome", since that's what it feels like.

If it starts getting worse, I get agitated and anxious. Like you describe, I can't stop pacing, I can't stop twitching, I can't stop contracting every muscle in my body, I dig my fingernails into the skin... It's not nice.

The thoughts you describe seem to be racing thoughts. Like your brain is too fast for you to keep up, so you start to bounce from idea to idea and it's hard to concentrate on anything. That's why we forget what we were thinking / saying / writing.

I hope what I describe is helpful for you! Mania can feel very nice, but when it starts to spiral out of control... It's not! I personally hate the anxiety and agitation, it's the worst part. Do you have anything you can take in an emergency such as this? If not, maybe you could mention it to your p-doc tomorrow. Please don't forget your appointment, these things don't usually go away on their own, not before doing serious damage.

Stay safe and, if possible, give us an update on how your appointment goes and how you're doing.
Hugs