I believe my fiance' is bipolar. He refuses help. HELP!

Hi, I am not sure what to do. I have been with my fiance' for 2.5 years and we have battled this the whole way...his mood swings. Sometimes caused by a dream, stress or even something miniscule (to me). I have researched depression and manic depression. He shows signs of both. Mostly the irritibility, anger and anxiety. I want him to see a doctor to get diagnosed (or not) to see if he can get on meds. I feel like his behavior pattern is abusive to me and I do not want to marry him if he doesn't do something to try to correct it. we love each other so much. I dont understand why he wont see a doctor or a counselor. he says he doesn't need either. but i really think he does. he is damaging us and me with his drama. it's extremely painful for me to endure and i'm sure for him too. Should i kick him out/break up and move on or can i convince him he has a serious PROBLEM?? i really want to marry him but i dont want to have a roller coaster lifestyle. It stresses him out even to DISCUSS this!!!!!! he is very irritable 2-3 days a week! HELP!!!!!!!!!

Try to make him feel at ease about it. Tell him that therapists are often very gentle people who will try to make you feel comfortable talking with them as best they can. You know, stuff like that. Don't go like: "You have a PROBLEM! you understand that?! a PROBLEM! and you need HELP! FAST!" Doing so would probably make things even worse, as it would probably offend him and well if he's already easy irritated then yeah i don't think it'll do much good to provoke him like that. So just try to make him comfortable about seeing a psychologist/therapist

thanks for replying. yeah i dont want him to feel attacked so i wont attack him at all. i just want him to realize the frequent changes in mood are abnormal and they hurt us and he can get help and i'll go with him to whatever he wants. admitting it seems to be the big battle here. he lost his dad at age 12 and i think that has a lot to do with all this.

well admitting stuff like that is always hard at first. i think what you need to do is to ask him how he feels when his mood changes. then the emphasis will be placed on how HE feels instead of how his mood swings are affecting you and your relationship which should make it much easier for him to seek help.

ok thank you. i'll try that. he seems to just hate talking about it period. i will try the gentle approach and see what happens. the latest episode that lasted 3 days is because he had a nightmare about me cheating on him and he said it's a recoccuring dream so that's why it upset him so much. he waited 3 days to even admit why he was so irritable and angry and he hasn't even told me much about the dream. he said he thinks it's a premonition of whats to come. i hope he will at least try to tell me how he feels when his mood changes. he will probably ask "what do you mean?" he usually has some type of reason/excuse always to use. he had a nightmare, i let the dog in and he didn't want it in, i woke him up and he was sleeping soundly, anything! not sure how to make him see that we are trying to look deeper than that?? i will take it one step at a time i suppose.