isolation

most of the time I am alone(physically), isolationg myself from the world. I see a person I would like to know once in a while, but there is a wall between me and everyone. The only people I really talk to at all are my parents, but I don't tell them much. I think that I am angry with the world, and I am very detached from it. I wan't to be a part of something,..and I wish there was someone that needed me. A lot of times I feel numb, and when I look back I realize that I am in danger from myself when I'm like that. I've been on meds and in therapy for years. My behavior used to be outrageous and my moods more severe and debilitating, so I'm better in that sence, but I still feel lost and alone. I'm glad I found this site. I diddn't know there was anything like this.

Sleepwalker,

I feel this way alot. I isolate my self for many reasons, not just bipolar.

I don't want to make a fool of my self anymore. (or what I thought was a fool).

Have you been dx'd with an other disorder? I also have bpd overlapping. That's a whammy. And ptsd with agoraphobia and panic attacks. I ask because my other problems contribute to my isolation. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I also don't like people in the 3-D world.

We have to love ourselves, no matter what the beast in our heads tell us.

I just hit bottom again 5 days ago, and oh god the negative thoughts, I didn't even go out to my back yard , forced myself to bathe, and I'm a clean person. My house is a mess, cleaning it today.

You hang tough girl. I know it is very very hard. ( the thing that has saved my life many times is a saying another bp told me, "This too shall pass".

2 other disorders that can cause isolation besides depression ,
are avoidant disorder, and agoraphobia, and in some cases bpd in order not to hurt others.

Here anytime,

DDEEHOPES,

Thank you for replying.
Yes, there are other contributing factors to my isolation. I am also diagnosed with ptsd. I think a lot of it comes from that, too, and mixed w/ bp, you're right...that is a whammy.
I'm sorry you have hit bottom and have to feel trapped and that you are struggling with the depression. Sometimes, the only way I know how to deal with that is to try to make myself like it, as weird as that sounds, and it scares me sometimes that I do that.
The references you made to the "beast in our heads", and to "not wanting to hurt anyone,although I also dont like people in the 3-d world" we're rather astonishing to me. I guess it is one thing to see a list of symptoms in a book or coming out of a doctor or thearapists mouth, but I really didd't expect someone to relate to me like that after reading one excerpt of my thoughts. I'm sure you have more expierience talking to others like us. Still, I really appreciate your words and and taking the time to reply.
Oh, by the way, I,m a guy. This site isn't just for girls is it? That would be a bummer after finding such a cool place, but if it is I will respect that. If it isn't, I hope you will still talk to me because it is nice to not feel so alone. I think just sharing the first time has helped me, at least it feels that way.
I will try to keep in mind "this too shall pass" when I'm down. I guess I should try to remember that when I'm flying high, too...does that make any sense?
I don't think I have agoraphobia, I think that my stuff is from the mix of what I mentioned before. I don't know what avoindant disorder is, but out of curiosity I am going to look it up.
Maybe sometime you could tell me more about the form the beast takes in your head, or should I say how he(she,it?) attaks you.
Thanks again,
sleepwalker.

H i again.


I call it the beast when I"m depressed.

And no babes, there are men here too.

I would love to share with you what i went thru, but your isolation is probably directly related to ptsd and your bipolar is screaming to get out and runl.... runl.. run....







I"'ll talk to you soon, ((hugs))

Hey D
Cool. I'm glad its universal.

I'll probably write more tomorrow, it's been a long day and I'm really tired. Hope things are well with you. Goodnight.

Hi again,
I read some various info on apd. I could relate to it in many ways, but I think they are incidental to my own dxs's. I can relate to the emotional parts(being effected strongly by stimulis), and shyness based on fear of embarrasment or ridicule. I know that parts of one mental illness can branch into symptoms of other dxs. I am still going to read more on it though as I am interested.
While I can relate in those ways, I am also incredibly overwheled by contact with strangers, esp in crowds, and around women. The intensity varies depd on the day.
I used to drink and smoke weed, too, but not in a couple years. Still, that went on from 13 to almost 30, and I think that makes social situations dificult. Btw, what is bpd, you said you had that overlapping. Looks like bipolar disorder, but I thought that was what you were referring to in the first place. Sorry, I am new at this and am just figuring out the acronyms.
Anyway, hows your day going? Mines been quiet. I'm kind of bored, but I'm not complaining about it being a restfull and peacefull day. Thanks for the hugs, I needed them. Back at you.

I take it you meant Avoidant personality disorder and antisocial?

Many disorders overlap and it's hard to understand how they are both affecting us at the same time.

I wish you luck with this and am always here.