Back to job market? Scared a bit

Hi all,

so it's been now 5 months since my diagnosis. I seem stabler on the medication, not perfectly stable, but much better now. I sleep at night, I get depressed sometimes but liveable. At the same time, work-related stress does make me suicidal -- but not for long, and it goes away. So I guess I am getting closer to the day when I decide to go and look for some sort of work.

How would you approach that after having been "off" for pretty 15 months? I am able to do "reintegration" -- like, serving tea to old people at a care house, that kind of thing -- no idea if that would be helpful. What triggers to look for when looking for a job? I have a pretty good idea of what I want and don't want, what time frame I have financially. But I've never been in this situation. Has anybody gone back to work after a long time off? How did it feel? Did it go well?

My last attempt at working was a disaster. Never again for me. It only lasted three weeks this time. I just recently applied for disability, and my boyfriend wants me to fight for it all the way. In the meantime, he is my support. Financially and emotionally. Even if I dont get disability, he will take care of me. I am so lucky to have him. So lucky.

oliveira wrote:Hi all,

so it's been now 5 months since my diagnosis. I seem stabler on the medication, not perfectly stable, but much better now. I sleep at night, I get depressed sometimes but liveable. At the same time, work-related stress does make me suicidal -- but not for long, and it goes away. So I guess I am getting closer to the day when I decide to go and look for some sort of work.

How would you approach that after having been "off" for pretty 15 months? I am able to do "reintegration" -- like, serving tea to old people at a care house, that kind of thing -- no idea if that would be helpful. What triggers to look for when looking for a job? I have a pretty good idea of what I want and don't want, what time frame I have financially. But I've never been in this situation. Has anybody gone back to work after a long time off? How did it feel? Did it go well?

Oliveira, Im sorry that I dont have any advice for you, though I just wanted to reply and let you know that im thinking of you!

its hard and exciting at the same time, though im currently not ready to return to work yet, I have my days where I feel like I really need to and am able to go back to work, but in all honesty I dont think I would deal with it very well.
Ive been invited to a socialiser, thats tomorrow, there will be 50+ people there, many of which are people who have been clients of mine in the past, and many of which could turn into very good clients in the future, Im just at the point where I have no idea how I will react to being around so many people and act like positive.

Good Luck Oliveira.

Thanks a lot Sadstace, I hope it goes well -- I can totally imagine myself in this situation -- I'll keep fingers crossed! Please share how it went, OK?

This is something difficult too -- I don't know sometimes if I'm *recovered* or *having a good week*. Sometimes I feel great, only to wake up depressed a few days later. At this moment, afternoon of March 5, I feel good. But ask me again in a week...

Good luck back Stace!

Hi hon

First I would say be a tortoise not a hare. Take your time and take things one step at a time - dont rush yourself.

I have been off work for 5 years now and am going to be starting back soon with an occasional job soonish but it is not many hours and I think that gradual return is the way forward - esp when you have been out of work for a bit.

I think considering what would and would not stress you out is important too. It might be that you do well under high pressure but you cant be doing with admin - in which case you would need to adjust your job choices as needed.

I would look for jobs that are part time or occasional work to start with in something that you enjoy but is not too taxing- remember you can always "upgrade" your job with time - the key is getting back on your feet again to start with.

Once you have found some jobs I would think about the pros and cons of them so you have weighed up whether they will suit you and the mood disorder too. Then apply for those which fit the bill.

It can seem really overwhelming - believe me I know, but hopefully you will be able to find something that suits you. One thing that also helped me was having my sister and her boyfriend read through my application and help word it better. I am more than happy to do that for you if you want.

Huge hugs

Cracked

Hey Oliveira!

This is so weird that you posted this because I was thinking of PMing you to see if you were thinking about work anytime soon. I just wanted your opinion on some things but now it seems it'll be the other way around. In my opinion, if you can write a blog that amazing, you can do anything. I enjoy reading it so much.

As for work - obviously avoid anything too stressful, and there's nothing wrong with part time. I think going back into a full time job would be too stressful for anyone.

I've been off work since early 2010, and since then I've done one temp job which was a five hour shift in the morning. The night before, I woke up with crippling anxiety. I thought I was going to die...then I fell asleep again. That one five hour shift felt amazing, but since then I've gone downhill again mentally, so I haven't picked up any jobs since. I think it can go either way for you. After reading one of your blog posts, I picked up that you're a hard working person who just wants to live again. You'll either get back out there and love it and take things as they come, or it will be too much and you'll have to think of another game plan.

What kind of work are you thinking of at the moment? It really depends on what you're comfortable with and what kind of workload is involved.

I'm kind of blanking on ideas. The temp job I took was putting boxes on a conveyor - mindless work, but it felt amazing to be out working for that day. It gave me a huge confidence boost. I think that's something to look forward to - the confidence you'll gain after that first day back out, whatever it is you decide to do.

I hope this was a bit helpful.

Ha -- talk about coincidences.

I like the idea of taking it slowly and part-time work, but I have no idea how much the bank where I have my mortgage will like it. Plus, there's not many part-time jobs around here for designers; full-time or none seems to be what's available (and if you want a stressful job, this is a really good one to pick). I'm working as a blacksmith apprentice two days per week now, but not making money with that -- still, those two are the best days of the week for me and I look forward to them. I'd love to work like that full-time and paid, I think that kind of job would keep my bipolar in check even if it wouldn't make me rich. But I am not good enough yet to start up my own business and there's not so many people who could or would employ me.

I waver between thinking "I have recovered, I feel good, I should go and look for a job" and then thinking "well, I am fine NOW, in the situation as it is NOW, is it really a good idea to change it drastically?" I'm terrified to think that I'd take a job and within a few weeks land back in the middle of a terrible mixed episode. It's a very shaky stability I have at the moment...

Oh -- and PM me with your questions please!

I was off work for 2 months for a injury. I was strange going back. I put myself thru hell just because the way my mind works. I find being back a work better than sitting around. It keeps my mind busy.
Good luck getting back to work.

oliveira wrote:Thanks a lot Sadstace, I hope it goes well -- I can totally imagine myself in this situation -- I'll keep fingers crossed! Please share how it went, OK?

This is something difficult too -- I don't know sometimes if I'm *recovered* or *having a good week*. Sometimes I feel great, only to wake up depressed a few days later. At this moment, afternoon of March 5, I feel good. But ask me again in a week...

Good luck back Stace!

Thank you so much! I received a text this evening, and one of my favourite clients has arranged a tanning party at her house tomorrow for me to gain some new clients, so I am not sure that I will be attending the socialiser, I think it's too many people, in an unfamiliar place where as I can go to my clients house, and she really is lovely, I always feel quite at ease around her and mentality wise I believe that I'm far better off doing that.
Now I'm a mixture of excited and nervous.

I really love doing my job,

I just hate that I never wake up knowing how I will feel, that's the hardest thing, all I hope is that I wake up in the morning ready and rearing to go because I have so much to sort out tomorrow- Eep!