Doing bad emotionally and physically with my illness (LONG!)

Hi everybody. I wanted to talk a little bit about what's been going on with me. I'm feeling down emotionally, and physically even more. I'll tell you a little bit about my physical disorder, I've been sick since I was 5 years old. I always was sick as a baby and when I was 12 I emotionally progressed and physically got worse. I always had symptoms of Bipolar as a kid and got diagnosed as type 2, now I'm Bipolar 1. Most recently, I've been vomiting everything I eat and I throw up 10 times a day at least. Last year I was vomiting 20 times a day. I have a gastro disorder called Gastrophresis. I was diagnosed with that when I was vomiting 20 times a day and didn't keep any food or meds down. I have a lot of blood pressure issues and migraines. My migraines are off the charts sometimes, and I get one at least every night. I'm on Depakote 1000MG for the headaches which has helped some. I haven't been able to leave my house since October. I get out maybe 2-3 times a month. It brings me down especially and makes very angry and depressed a lot of times. Some days if I feel if my life quality doesn't improve I just wanna die when I'm in the car going to the hospital. I'm actually going for a surgery Monday or Tuesday for my gastrophresis. I just wanted to talk about this as it eats away at me a lot. I haven't been listening to music at all really lately for almost a month or two now. I've been really getting the shakes a lot lately which my Dr's think I could possibly have an autonomic disorder called "POTS". I take a handful of meds at night just to try to prevent my illness the next day which hasn't been cutting it. This especially keeps me away from the computer and talking to you guys, or looking at my cars. I've been saving the money I get to buy an old car when I'm able to drive again. My dad used to be a mechanic at Mercedes before he died and I got hooked on those cars since. So it's been my obsession to hunt down an old Diesel Mercedes. I've been "trying" to plan on this within the twenty months but it'll be pointless if I can't drive it. I don't expect anybody to read this as long as it is, but any support helps. Thank you all for listening to my long story. hope to hear from you all soon.

*massive hugs pinkfloydfan* The recent vomiting, migraines and depression sound just awful. I really hope the surgery is successful and you’ll have one thing off your back at least. Perhaps the vomiting is even contributing to the migraines? I don’t get migraines but I have gotten pretty bad headaches when I’ve been dehydrated. That’s why it occurred to me that perhaps if the gastrophresis and associated vomiting improves, your migraines might too? I hope so.
Best wishes and *more hugs*
Jan

Hi, Pink. May I call you Pink? I'm so sorry you've had a such tough time of it for so, so long. Unfortunately I don't have any answers - if I did I'd use them on me! You are important. There is hope. I have hope that tomorrow may be just 0.0001% better for me and for you too. I also have faith. If it won't offend you, I'll say a prayer for you and that your surgery will give you some relief. There are good people on this BP forum and you'll get great support here. I certainly have and do.

Please keep me informed on your progress and post pictures of the Mercedes when you can. I adore old cars, Mercedes and Jaguars in particular. Thank you for sharing your story.

Take good care and hugs,
Alice

Thank you very Much Alice. Sure you can call me Pink, or Jake. Whatever you like. Jan, thank you so much for the response also. Alice, no offense taken about prayers I can use them. I've been living off prayers for as long as I can remember. I appreciate it. Jan, I hope the migraines improve also if the vomiting slows down. I think it will since I dehydrate a lot. I'm heading down to the ER in a little bit actually for some meds and IV fluids. Alice, I'll post some pictures of some of the old Benzes my dad used to have. I love Jaguars by the way. My mom's old boyfriend used to drive a nice Champagne coupe. I never got a ride in it but it was his pride and joy.

Hey guys I found my old photo site where I stored all my pics. Here's some of those old Benzes I've been talking about. Most of them are sold but my Dad's old C230 which I inherited. http://s1257.beta.photobucket.com/user/ ... e/library/ hope posting links is alright. I figured there might be too many pics to post to the forum.

pinkfloydfan810 wrote:I'm heading down to the ER in a little bit actually for some meds and IV fluids.

Makes sense. I was wondering how the heck you don't get dangerously dehydrated.

I’ll leave the car conversation to you and Alice but I did look at the cat picture. Is that your kitty? I hope so. Cats are great for love and purry-support

janjones wrote:

pinkfloydfan810 wrote:I'm heading down to the ER in a little bit actually for some meds and IV fluids.

Makes sense. I was wondering how the heck you don't get dangerously dehydrated.

I’ll leave the car conversation to you and Alice but I did look at the cat picture. Is that your kitty? I hope so. Cats are great for love and purry-support

Cats are great little fur balls. She was an adopted cat I got from a neighbor. She ended up running away and I like to think she found a good home. She was a real friendly cat. My sister in-law has two dogs downstairs. A Nova Scotia Retriever who's 5 months, we just got her. Josie is a Beagle mix. My sister in-law rescued Daisy the retriever from a kill shelter. Josie was rescued from the side of the road and she was out in the wild for two years. I could get some pictures of the two girls and post them if you're interested. Once I'm able to keep up with an animal for myself I'm going to get a German Shepard. Pets keep your spirits up. Everyday is a happy and new day for them.

Jake

Hey, I’m always up for cute animal pics if you'd like to, and have the time and energy to post them. It’s good to hear you’ve got some puppy-love just downstairs.

janjones wrote:Hey, I’m always up for cute animal pics if you'd like to, and have the time and energy to post them. It’s good to hear you’ve got some puppy-love just downstairs.

I got some pics uploaded pretty quick. I don't have too many people to talk to much so it's great to talk to you guys online. here's some pics of the girls http://s1257.beta.photobucket.com/user/ ... nd%20Daisy

Jake, what fabulous pics of the cars, kitty and doggies! Thank you for posting those. I'm changing my avi to my puppy's pic - he's the love of my life, just don't tell my husband, though I suspect he knows.

I think the hospital and an IV sound like a great plan. I've been hospitalized more times than I care to count and have (almost) always been so glad to be there because I was so sick and felt so bad. I even remember the smell of the soap there because it was pleasant and I knew the smell meant I would feel at least tolerable for a while.

Keep us updated on how it goes.

Alice