Need Help with Bipolar Cousin

I don't have bipolar disorder, but my 2nd cousin does. I met him for the first time in the fall of 2011. He was the nicest, sweetest guy I had ever met. Then one day a couple months ago, he turned on a dime. He called me up out of the blue and yelled at me. He told me that he didn't understand why I ever thought we could be cousins and that I was annoying him. His father is a recovered alcoholic, and my cousin had mentioned to me one time that he doesn't drink. But I wonder if maybe he hasn't started drinking, and that is what prompted him to rant and yell at me. I have not heard from him since the day he yelled at me, and it is really hard. I want to be there for him as a cousin and love and support him, but the fact that he hasn't apologized to me makes me really sad. I just can't help taking his words personally and being hurt by him.
I keep trying to tell myself that he probably didn't mean to go overboard on me the way he did. But it is hard because he has not apologized to me or contacted me since. I work in the same building where he goes to school (he is in school to be a Dr.). And I've seen him a few times in the building, but every time I see him, I don't look at him because he had told me that he didn't want to keep in touch anymore. But I don't know if not looking at him makes it worse. I don't know if I should approach him first and apologize to him or if I should wait for him to approach me, which may never happen...and would make me sad. He is the first cousin I ever met (I have no 1st cousins, and he's the only 2nd cousin I've ever known).

What makes it even harder is when we first met, he kept telling me how grateful he was to me for reaching out to him, that we were family and blood, that we were going to be a better generation of cousins than the ones before us, and that wherever he or I end up living, I'll always have a place to stay. But since he called and yelled at me, I don't know what to believe. I don't know if deep down he really does care about me as a cousin, or if he truly wants nothing to do with me anymore and could care less what ever happens to me. Please help!

Even if you sort things out with him, you do understand that he could call you again and yell at you when he has another episode, right ?

This bi-polarity can make a person unpredictable. If you can live with that, give him a call.

Thanks RichardD. I needed that. You are correct, it is so unpredictable. And I cannot live with the emotional roller coaster and the uncertainty. All I can do now is treasure the good memories I have of my cousin.

I think what hurts me the most is not knowing what his true feelings were -- if he meant what he said when we first met -- or if he really never wanted anything to do with me. I will never know.

I read your thread about your GF. Good luck with your situation. It is hard caring about someone who is so unstable, isn't it?

I think what hurts me the most is not knowing what his true feelings were -- if he meant what he said when we first met -- or if he really never wanted anything to do with me. I will never know.

Please don't be offended. If he was mentally stable, I could see the true need to understand his anger, but in his case, don't put yourself through the agony of trying to figure this out. You sound like a positive, sensitive and caring person, I would be glad to have you as my cousin

You are right, it is very hard to have a relationship with a person that is emotionaly unstable. A person must get himself stable in order to build healthy relationships with his surroundings.

With people like your cousin, we must remember to forgive. It's not their fault, they are dealing with something extremely hard. You don't have to be in his life, but try to forgive him for his behaviour. I have a feeling that sometime in the future when he's more stable, he'll approach you again and apologize, but this could take time...

Thanks again RichardD! This really helps. And I wish you could be my cousin too! I will work on forgiving my cousin (without contacting him and being in his life), and I will hope that he someday reaches out to me and apologizes when he is more stable. Thanks for your help/advice!