I am done with psychiatric medications

I took various medications, and recently, my doctor gave me Zyprexa for Bipolar 2 and I have been on Klonopin for more than 3 months, he told me to gradually stop it until Zyprexa kicks in, basically Zyprexa made me eat like crazy, I went from 35kg (77 lb) to 40 kg. Which is good I always wanted to gain weight.

I took it for two weeks, and then I gradually stopped, I stopped everything and went through depression for a week, second week panic attacks, third week (now) nausea and it wakes me up at night and itchiness and flu-like symptoms. I can't put food in my mouth for a week. Zero appetite, insomnia.

Which withdrawal is this from Klonopin or Zyprexa and how long will it last, this is my third week and the nausea just recently started.

I didn’t want to be on drugs anymore. I was growing suspicious that the drugs in general were doing more harm than good.I was starting to question the circumstances of my original diagnosis, and to wonder if I was capable of living without drugs. I found that when I started Zyprexa, my cognitive abilities went downhill dramatically, I can't graduate if I am not able to study. To me, my intellligence is my main virtue and quality. I also had trouble recalling anything from the past, doing simple tasks.

I felt like I have lost myself, completely. I did not know who I was, what I wanted to become. I missed my former self.

Has anyone gone through this?

I would suggest talking to your doctor about the withdrawals you are experiencing, he should be able to give you some insight on what to expect duration wise, ect. Psychiatric medications can have some nasty withdrawal symptoms as you are experiencing and they vary per person in duration and intensity. It is really unpleasant, but the withdrawal symptoms will not last forever.

I would suggest, if you are serious about living medication free, that you find some other healthy ways to manage your bipolar 2. Namely healthy lifestyle changes and therapy to give you tools to help you manage the ups and downs and live a functional life. Speak to your doctor about these things and if they are unable or unwilling ( some doctors only focus on meds based management) then seek out a doctor that uses therapy with bipolar patients. Psychologist are excellent in that respect as they are unable to prescribe.

I urge you not to simply give up on medication, without some other valid resource to turn to, like therapy. There was a reason you were diagnosed. And a reason you thought initially that medication could help you. After the withdrawals are gone, those reasons will still remain and continue to disrupt your life and possibly interfere with your goals, if left ignored. It is an easy mistake to make and often a costly one.

I truly wish you the best

Zyprexa and all the atypical antipsychotics are horrible--I always woke up with a horrible hangover. I've been saved by a mix of valproate acid (to kill the mania), delayed release, 1250mg/day and lamictal (works against depression), 200mg/day.