Please help... I think my girlfriend is manic

I feel completely lost and confused... My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years was fired from her job right after Christmas last year. This was about 3 months after she had quit her previous job to move in with me about 2 hours away from her home city. I've known since the beginning of our relationship that she had mood disorders but I am just now realizing to what extent.

Around Jan. 1st, she slipped into what I can only describe as a manic episode or maybe hypomanic? She describes it as an "awakening" and a "spiritual enlightenment" like nothing she's ever experienced but she swears it isn't mania she is just the happiest she has ever been in her entire life. Since then, she has lost probably 10 lbs (she was already skinny) and has been running off of roughly 3-5 hours of sleep a night. She can barely focus on anything and she talks nonstop at an intensely fast speed. Her friends, family, and I have all become increasingly concerned and it's nearly impossible to get through to her.

The major issues I see: She has become friends with a local meth dealer/user and his wife and she keeps talking about saving them/their relationship and their child. She takes long walks at 1 or 2 in the morning and when I try to talk to her about it she somehow convinces me that it's not a big deal. She forgets things almost immediately and it is nearly impossible to hold a two-sided conversation with her because she is constantly talking about herself and her ideas. She feels invincible and has started going around the bad parts of town talking with homeless people and talking about her meth head friend as if he has her back so she has nothing to worry about... She recently opened up to me about the extent of her previous depression and it scared the hell out of me. She read me a journal she wrote last year when she was depressed and it was some of the darkest and scariest $#%^ I have ever heard. I had no idea the depression was that bad... She showed me this because she thinks she has finally come to terms with it and has defeated the dark side of her.

The other side: She is extremely positive and confident every day. This is the opposite of how I knew her because she has always been very anxious and pessimistic. Now, she isn't anxious at all, she doesn't worry about anything and she feels as if she has finally realized her potential. She is always happy. I feel as if these things are good and I shouldn't discourage those feelings but it scares the hell out of me.

Sorry, this has become a rant but I don't know what else to do. Does this sound like a bipolar manic episode or hypomania? She hasn't done anything incredibly dangerous but her actions are in no way normal to her prior behavior. Oh a couple important things to mention: She is taking prescribed adderall (which she has admitted to being addicted to before) as well as citalopram. She has had addiction problems in the past and her mother is an alcoholic. If I mention either drug, she gets pissed off and says that it has nothing to do with the drugs and that she has lowered both doses (I don't know if this is true or not).

I have scheduled a meeting with a therapist this week and I am hopeful that she will be willing to see her with me. I can't stand being around her anymore and I'm seriously questioning our relationship. We have previously talked and agreed that we will marry each other someday but this has changed everything in my eyes... She doesn't think anything is wrong even though I almost broke up with her a couple weeks ago. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated, I don't know how to be around her anymore.

I am sorry you are both going through this. I cannot advise you as a professional but it does sound to me like something is going on for her. Is she on a mood stabiliser as well or just the two meds you mentioned as to my knowledge both of them can cause mania and hypomania esp if not countered by something to level off mood. But like I said I am not here as a professional. I think seeing the therapist is a good idea and I hope she agrees to come with you. When ppl are manic or hypomanic it can be difficult to get through to them. It can be very difficult for those of us who have BP to view elevated mood states as problematic. My best advice is try to get her to come with you to the therapist and see if they can help. Let us know how it goes. One thing I would say in terms of breaking up with her is that this is not her fault and once properly stabilised things should be a lot better.

Cracked

She sounds a lot like me when I had a manic episode. It all started with me thinking that I had become "enlightened." I slept very little, and lost a lot of weight. I was really depressed too prior to my episode and so happy it was done with. At this stage I wouldn't have agreed to go to the hospital, but my euphoria soon turned into paranoia and I started hallucinating, and I knew something was wrong.

Has anyone else noticed these changes in her? My friends sure knew something was wrong, but they didn't know what. Has she noticed any changes in herself that she'd describe as negative? Maybe you could emphasize getting treatment for those. It might take some time, but I'm sure you'll get through this.

Thank you both so much! Everyone who knows her can tell immediately that she is being super overwhelming and I have spoken to her family about it and they are all on the same page. We all think she is being manic but we don't know what to do about it. I have a couple of updates that I'd like to share and get some opinions on...

I spoke with her Psychiatrist who she had previously given permission for him to talk with me and he said that he thinks I should try to get her to go to the ER. I was very taken aback by this because I don't think it is to that point quite yet. She hasn't been an immediate danger to anyone and she is not suicidal or homicidal in any way. He said that she needs her meds balanced out but he was the one who prescribed her these meds in the first place! I decided to call the hospital hotline and I spoke with a mental health professional who said that she was very concerned as to why the Psychiatrist gave me that advice....

She said that my girlfriend doesn't sound bad enough to be admitted and that if I tried to make her go to the ER it would most likely have a very negative effect on the whole situation. She thinks that she needs her meds balanced immediately but that a doctor or the Psych should do it not the Inpatient place at the hospital! She also said that she would strongly advise seeking out a new psychiatrist...

Last night I woke up at 1 am to the fire alarm going off, she had boiled a pot of water and left it boiling until the pot started burning... It smelled awful and she was so focused on her work she didn't even care. Then she almost did it again 20 minutes later!

I found an empty bottle of Clonazepam prescribed by the same Psych that had been filled with 60 tablets to be taken once a day only 20 days ago. She is not on any mood stabilizers. She has agreed to talk to me tonight so I am going to tell her what her psych told me and that this needs to be taken care of immediately. I now have a reason to be scared for my personal safety after the smoke alarm issue! I'll update you when I can! Thanks again!

Hi

I have to say that whether the psych needs a kick up the arse or not it may have got to the point where a hospital assessment is a good idea. The cooking and pills issue make me think that as they both illustrate there is significant risk going on. If she goes to hospital they have a duty of care to asses her and that would mean if she is unsafe they can address it. I appreciate this may escalate things in terms of her being mad at you and also that it is tough to force someone to go to hospital but I do think it is an option.

Cracked

Well that did not end well... She became very angry and said some very hurtful things and then said that we need to spend some time apart and that I am the one who needs mental help. I packed my things and I am staying at my parents until things calm down. She blew up on her best friend who is currently living with us also.

Harveybirdman, your experience sounds exactly like what she is going through. She was severely depressed for probably 3 years before this happened. She is convinced that this is an awakening into her true life's purpose and that I am the only thing in her life that is negative right now. How long after your "awakening" did you start experiencing the paranoia and hallucinations?

CrackedGirl, I think you may be right. I am going to see a therapist for my own sake tomorrow but I know that she is unwilling to go to the hospital at this point. I told her that her Psych had recommended the ER and she laughed and said that her psych was crazy and she would never go back to see him. She also admitted that she only uses her psych to get drugs that she trades to people to get them to do things for her. She is incredibly manipulative and very very good at it...

My one issue with all of this is: Could she be right? Is it possible that this is all a spiritual awakening and her loved ones are bringing her down? How can an enlightened person be so energized and scattered? Aren't they suppose to be calm and peaceful?

Hi hon

I am really sorry to hear that all happened.

I have felt spiritual and become psychotic when high - I thought I was an artist sent from God with magic powers and that I was going to become a cult icon by putting coins on toilet seats. At the time it feels extremely real and it is very difficult for ppl to reason with you. But from my experience it is important not to agree with a delusion - so you were doing the right thing. I dont think this is likely to be a spiritual awwakening tho never say never, but more likely to be BP related. This is just my feeling tho from what you have said and recognising aspects of it.

In terms of her being hurtful this is something else ppl can do when manic. They can become irritable and nasty. I also do this and can be quite cruel. I suspect this is illness talking and not her.

The manipulation with drugs sounds like another issue linked to addiction behaviours possibly - but certainly something else that would also need to be addressed by a care team.

Does her best friend have any ideas about what to do next?

I am really really sorry you are struggling with this - it must be very hurtful. I hope she can be pursuaded to get some help and that things improve soon for you both.

Many hugs

Cracked

lakeplacid wrote:Well that did not end well... She became very angry and said some very hurtful things and then said that we need to spend some time apart and that I am the one who needs mental help. I packed my things and I am staying at my parents until things calm down. She blew up on her best friend who is currently living with us also.

Harveybirdman, your experience sounds exactly like what she is going through. She was severely depressed for probably 3 years before this happened. She is convinced that this is an awakening into her true life's purpose and that I am the only thing in her life that is negative right now. How long after your "awakening" did you start experiencing the paranoia and hallucinations?

It was probably a month or two before it really got bad. Hard for me to pinpiont exactly when the psychoses began given how out of my mind I was, but from what I've pieced together I'm sure that's the range.

After going so long without sleeping and running for like 3 hours a day almost every day my body just started to fall apart, and my mind did too. That point of exhaustion may yet come for her too. I'm glad her friends and family see it too. I think whatever you do should be in conjunction with them. Hopefully that way she won't make you the scapegoat. No matter what she says this is not your fault and you're not doing anything that's not for her best interest.

lakeplacid wrote: I spoke with her Psychiatrist who she had previously given permission for him to talk with me and he said that he thinks I should try to get her to go to the ER. I was very taken aback by this because I don't think it is to that point quite yet. She hasn't been an immediate danger to anyone and she is not suicidal or homicidal in any way. He said that she needs her meds balanced out but he was the one who prescribed her these meds in the first place!

It's not at all unusual for psychiatrists to want to adjust meds. The entire field of psychoactive drugs is a bit of a guessing game, with different people reacting in very different ways to the same medication or dosage thereof. So I would not be dismissive of the shrink on the basis of his wanting to "balance" her meds.

While I am someone who generally avoids meds, I'm certainly in no position to suggest anything about medications for your gf. But it does seem she has had some recent change in brain chemistry, and it would surprise me not one whit if her meds were "unbalanced". That said, I would wonder about giong to the ER- a lot of such recommendations from physicians is hastily considered with an eye toward what a lawyer might do. Would in-patient evaluation be a possibility?