feeling so helpless

don't know why I'm writing this I guess I just need to get it out maybe someone can relate. I'm angry depressed hope listen I'm at the same time. have 1,000,001 things running through my head. I'm tired of being tired I'm tired of being angry I'm tired of being unhappy and irrational. I've been seen this I could just doesn't seem to care. he up my meds and tells me to cut out the stress in my life. haha cut out stress I've to children under 54 definitely high maintenance. I'm coming to believe my fiance the trigger himself. he doesn't understand and he doesn't try. I'm stay home mom he works meaning he's in control and my meds are the last thing on his list. everyday wake up and I tell myself I will be better I won't yell I'll try and be patient I'll try and do something really fun with the boys. official Andrea I'll start my scrapbooking again are you still love itself but then I get up and coffee is not ready fast enough my son doesn't want to go to school and of course my fiance still in bed not helping. the rage in frustration sets in and I just want to go hide from the world I can feel the anxiety building in Maine I try and smoke and it just sends me into a numb State and I don't want to be bothered with anything but at least I'm not yelling. here come the obsessive thoughts why can't I be different why is life so hard what did I do so wrong to deserve this. begin an upsetting on everything I've ever done and wherever my brain takes me. the meds kind of help but I don't understand on my symptoms are how to put them into words so how can I explain them to someone else. Angela I won't have insurance anymore so no more doctors and no more meds so what then. I try to talk to mu mom or nesy friend they tell me its in my head ur neing a hypochondrac syop stressing and obsessing. so easy to say when their not stuck in my mind

It sounds like you have a lot on your mind atm and that things are tough. I am really sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help at all? I hope things improve soon.

Huge hugs

Cracked

Sorry to hear that mzjohnson. I believe the only thing that's safe to say, is that you shouldn't make decisions right now. As CrackedGirl said, I hope things get better and let us know if there's anything we can do to help.