Hi Everyone!

Im Andy,

Here because I can't seem to shake this pattern of high low with hardly a middle ground unless I am sleeping.

29/w/m central florida.
In case that matters.

Been unemployed for nearly two months now, and with no money to get out of the house, it's getting harder to stay out of the low mood. i can't find the energy to do anything. Trying to job serch, and some days I get up feeling refreshed, and ready to take on the planet, then by mid-day I can't focus, and am just in a lethargic state. Sometimes at night I can't sleep due to depression.

I don't know if I am bi-polar, I have never been diagnosed, (try going to the hospital un-insured,and unemployed and see what the bill is...) never took any meds for my ups and downs, I'm a Libra, so that could be part of it. I have very rough sleeping patterns if any at all, and havent been able to hold a steady job my entire life. Let alone friends, or long term relationships. Some days I am your best friend, other days I am your worst enemy. It tends to get very lonely living that way. One day ecstatic, the next day down in the dumps and thinking everyone is out to get you.

At any rate, I figured what better place to find people who have the same sort of rollercoaster lives than a forum full of people with bipolar disorder. its the closest thing I have found like my personal life. Feel free to chime in, i am no stranger to internet forums, just a newb to this one.

i welcome your thoughts.

Andy

Hi Andy, welcome! Yes I have been unemployed for since Aug 2011 when I failed out of school due to mental health issues, now I am lucky to be on the disability support pension for income though I am going to try to do a parttime course to retrain next year, hopefully all will go well. I was crying last week for four days straight, had psychosis sunday night and yesterday became hypomanic, so yes can relate to the rollercoaster ride. I know when I was living in the states, Tucson, there were programs for the mentally ill that had free cost and my meds were free as well so maybe you could check that out in your local area, if you want to. Anyway keep posting and glad to have you here. Mary PS I now live in Australia but am coming back to the states next tue for one month, cant wait!

-- Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:59 pm --

BTW here is a link to some services in Florida if you want to check any out, up to you. I just know it can be rough at times when feeling alone and unsure.
http://www.floridamentalhealth.org/links.html

Wonderful, thanks mary!

Hi and welcome to the forum

I hope that you settle in and find this a friendly place to be.

One thing I would suggest is taking a read of posts here and see what resonates with you - that can help a lot when trying to figure out if you have BP. The you know you're bipolar when... thread is fun

I think it would be really worth looking for some sort of medical service that is affordable. I dont know how that works where you are tho as I am in the UK. But it sounds like getting assessed is something that you could do with having.

Anyhow I hope you like it here

Hugs

Cracked

Thanks crackedgirl, I have been looking, some very insightful information here...

My mood swings can be severe, and I was homeless for about a year due to my moods, and my inability to cope with them. But I survived.
Was in several up and down relationships, and a few years back spent a good majority of my time persuing women in hopes of them bringing me out of my depression, of course that didnt work either.

Took me 6 years of college to get an associates degree. ha! could never hold a steady job, but recently I found the film industry, which is the closest thing to steady for me. Of course when I am not working I am lethargic, and debbie downer all the time. When I am working I am so manic all the time its hard to get along with anyone at work, and I isolate myself. but I focus on the work and there is always lots of it to be done, so 20 hour days are no problem for me. I can sweep a floor for hours.

I have never been on meds for this, and only really find it a problem when I am not working, or forced to work on something I dont want to do like make a resume (blech)

also, when the weather is poor, or I am broke, and cant go out shopping (which generally cheers me up to buy a bunch of crap i dont need) I am terribly depressed,

When I find a song or movie I like, I watch it (or listen to it) a million times a day for weeks. and laugh at the top of my lungs to it. I suppose to outsiders this sounds strange, but seems perfectly natural to me.

Oh and I have an uncontrollable addiction to sugar, chocolate, and ben and jerrys ice cream.
I have been up a long time today, so forgive me if some of this makes no sense, or is scatterbrained.

I cant offer you a diagnosis as a psych needs to do that but it sounds to me like there are some things there that I relate to and I have BP. It also sounds like things have been pretty extreme for you. WHat options are there to get medical attention without insurance where you are-there must be some I would hope

Anyhow keep talking and I hope we can help support you

Hugs

Cracked