Need Help/Advice Plz

First I want to apologise for the long post, I have reached a point in my life that I need to get my life under control I have my first child on the way and I want to give myself the best chance to get my life back in order before the bubs comes along in late June 2013 so please bare with me.

I am 25 years old, I have a very loving partner who has 2 boys (9 & 6) from a previous relationship which I have taken in as my own, we have been together for 5 amazing years, my pride in life is my boys & I would do anything for them but my own issues are starting to get in the way, the best way i can describe myself if fractured. I have been unemployed for the past 2 years & I have taken the role of house husband however after bubs comes along I will need to be working, most likely full time.

I come from a strong family history of mental illness, my mother has bi-polar, brother & uncle have aspergers. I was initially diagnosed with bi-polar after ticking almost every symptom on the list 5 years ago but seem to have being showing signs of it since 14, I assume it is mixed & maybe rapid cycle forms. I was seeing a psych for 2 years whom trialled me on a myriad of medications, epilim, saphris, luvox, lexapro & seroquel (all of which turned me into a dysfunctional zombie with no quality of life) Vallium & temazepam (no effect) xanax & stilnox ( intolerable to others & some hallucinations)

However I’d like to think I’m smart & I am university educated and generally functional. I have been self medicating with marijuana on and off over the last couple years & I seem to be completely in control when doing so which leads to a happy family unit. However I have since moved to a small town in country Victoria where psych docs are limited (6 month appointment wait) & so is marijuana supply.

Over the last few months I have not been coping, spending most of my days crippled by high anxiety & depression which leads to exhausted & slightly cranky evenings & sleepless nights (on average 4-5 hours per night) which in combination with years of self neglect which have led to me needing to get dentures & severe back problems (degenerative disk disease & stenosis) which leaves me in excruciating pain most of the time.

My partner is a nurse and she has just informed me that a great new gp has just arrived in town I want to see him & I want to make the best impression on the doctor as possible but am nervous as he might just blow me off thinking I’m just looking for drugs.

I don’t know what to do and am at the end of my tether, I don’t want to let my family down and need to get on top of things, could anyone offer me any advice on meds or how to approach doc without being pre judged as I feel I have been so many times before. I am currently on no medication & can’t go on like this for much longer, Thank you for your time.

Tim

Hello Tim

The best thing you can do when it comes to going to going to visit the doctor is to just be earnest and forthcoming with everything you mentioned here. I ommitted a lot from my doctor because of paranoia, I guess so I am left wondering about things. Don't do that to yourself, just be honest and tell him everything. If you come to him in a genuine manner he will surely respond to you.

As for medication, that is a process you will have to go through with your doctor. You'll have to try different amounts of various scripts until you find what works for you, assuming of course your doctor thinks you need them. It may just be as simple as getting good counseling being all you need. Anyways, good luck and keep us posted.

Bye