Am I stable?

Honestly, I don't know.

When it comes to my mood itself, it has pretty much stabilised somewhere around mild depression. On some days lighter, on some days heavier, but mild depression it is. I get SOME stuff done but not much. I get out of bed in 20 minutes, on some days in 90 minutes, but I do get out. I go to the gym, I do my work outs, sometimes a bit shorter. But it looks stable(ish) indeed, much more than the unpredictable jumps I had two months ago.

It's the outlook on my future that worries me now. At 9am I think I am doomed and will lose everything. At 1pm I am convinced all will be okay. At 3pm it's more like nothing will ever be okay ever again. At 6pm I have thoughts about suicide. At 9pm I'm reading "Game of Thrones", laughing at some bits and enjoying life thoroughly and looking forward to more of it.

Is that a sign my mood stabiliser works? Fur realz?

Yours truly,
Worried Joyrider

Hey hey m'dear

I think that you are in that place where you are adjusting to life with a known diagnosis and trying to find your feet and what is normal for you. I found that my major mood swings resolved once on the right meds but distinguishing between small mood swings and normality was tough. With time I have discovered I naturally run a bit high and as long as I keep an eye on it then that is OK. Remember that "normal" ppl also have mood swings so it may be that this is normal for you. However there is a fine line and if you think that these swings are troubling you it might be worth mentioning them to someone such as your Dr to make sure your meds are optimised. Whether or not you are stable is def not a clear cut thing imo but it does sound like you are at least getting there.

Huge hugs

Cracked

I'm on mood stablizers and still have days like you have described. To some degree it's natural to have mood swings from time to time. Sometimes keeping a dailey mood journal is helpful. I did that for about 8 months after I got my dx and started my meds, it really helped to make sense of it all. It helped me find triggers and it helped me be optimistic to know that the moods were passing and some normality will always follow them. Take care.

@Cracked I guess you're right about trying to find my feet indeed. Normal mood swings... well yeah but I do jump all over the scale. At the same time it's not mood, it's... the way I see future. See I don't even know how to describe it right...

@doesntfeelbeautiful You mean more of a mood journal than just "-2" I suppose, right? Do you write journal entries or something like that? I think it would be good for me to try indeed if only to look for triggers. Right now it's still a mess...

I have PMed you to cheer you up

Hugs

Cracked

Oliveira it really can feel like a mess can't it. For me it started out as a typical journal with less emphasis on dailey events and more on the moods that were the result. I would read over the journal at the end of every month. Eventually I found it was better to write it on a calander using symbols for mood much like these yellow faces on here and note anything out of the usual that happened on a given day. That way it was easier to get a complete snapshot of a months worth of mood swings.

I still keep a journal but sadly I only write in it during my depressive modes. This thread has inspired me to dust off the old mood calander though, maybe it's time I start keeping track again.

Sending you good vibes

Thanks I am going to try and write down more than just 'X' on a coloured square

there is an app for android and apple by the Chreryl T Herman Foundation that allows you to track daily mood as well as input daily events. i have found it a really helpfull tool.

Thanks! I found it -- iPhone only though, and I just switched to a Samsung Galaxy. (Advice: DON'T DO THAT.)

http://www.cheryltherman.org/cth-mood-chart/

A comparison of 10 different apps, though, has one that looks good for Android and is free:

http://www.healthline.com/health-slides ... disorder#6