Getting Engaged

Taking a big step. I know she's the right one for me in last 11 months alone (we've been seeing each other for two and a half years. Our love was it the alcohol? Well in the last 11 months I got sober. She pretty much quit with me to support. I underwent ECT. She was at the hospital with me every time I needed her support. When my meds were out of wack and I didn't know it and all I knew was I wasn't feeling right mentally, The severity of which I checked myself into a hospital. She visited every time she could and we spoke on the phone. I was out and feeling well 4 days later. I'm glad things have shifted from me and back to us (her and I). But its like holy cow I'm getting engaged. I bought a nice ring. It sort of hit me last night that I'm going to be expected to really step it up and be a man now. I'm already a man I know this but now its like wow I'm not runnin' from this one. Thats what I've always done when things get too serious I run...I don't want to do that I want to spend the rest of my life with her she is everything to me but my fear are that expectations will be placed upon me that I simply won't be able to live up to (perhaps because of being bipolar). So what makes a good fiance I guess? Being bi polar scares me and I have belief and faith that the two of us we'll make it through whatever their is to make it through but I want this to be a happy time for us. My plan is simple save for the big three or 4 things. Ring, I'm just going to aggressively pay that off at 0 interest for a year. Housing thats the next huge step theirs looking, theirs buying, theirs renting. I need to get sure on that. Then theirs paying all those bills while still managing to save for a wedding. Then I have a feeling ready or not on my end we are going to try and conceive a child (after marriage I pray lol). We really can't afford to wait much longer than that she is 9 almost 10 years older than me so then we start a family. So yeah being a man lol. I think the most scary is the housing and living together. I've always been under my parents roof. Surprisingly the least scary although I would like a couple more years but I think I'd make an amazing father. I would hate to pass down my emotional and social problems onto a child though. But like I'll get to spend so much important time with my children since I only work weekends that its unreal. And I actually look forward to it. I was one of those odd ball boys that opted teddy bears and cabbage patch kids over video games. Yeah I cried at the end of Toy Story 3 so what?? lol

Thats Great. Its good when you find someone who has seen you at you worst and is still by your side. That is rare. A keeper for sure.

Congratulations Justin! That’s great and I am very happy for you. Thank you for sharing your good news. I like how you are thinking about practical considerations already like aggressively paying off the ring. You say about housing – I need to get sure on that… You are still thinking like a single guy hon!… The sentence should be - We need to get sure on that. You can “be a man” but it isn’t the 1800s either lol! - She likely doesn’t want you running the show all by yourself – housing will probably be a joint decision. You guys will figure it all out tho, I'm sure!

Take care and best wishes,
Jan

Congratulations! As for your question of what makes a good fiance...really just being there to support the other person is a huge one. Planning for a wedding can be very stressful for a woman, she may get a little crazy herself just be as supportive as possible.

Cheze2 wrote:Planning for a wedding can be very stressful for a woman...

True - Maybe you’ll get lucky Justin and she’ll just want to elope!

Sounds like you got a keeper Justin. I hope to get there one day that I'll find a woman who can deal with my extreme manic ways. good luck

Congratulations Justin

That is wonderful news. You two clearly love each other. I hope you are very happy together. Please keep us posted and let us know how things go for you both

Hugs

Cracked