1. Initial conditions:
a) already know your life's work or purpose,
b) realize self-idenity at time = 0,
2. Variables:
Q = quality of life as determined by a sustained period of positive or constructive and stable thinking.
A = all forms of guidance including family, books, and psychiatrist.
X = motivation of patient to achieve their life's work, where X is bounded by [too little, too much] as determined by severity of symptoms.
t = time.
3. Governing equation: Q = A*X*t.
dear ian,
after a long time i have returned to your equation, which is excellent, stand alone.
it does not, however, include excellence of psychiatrist. the quality of life i now enjoy: mental
stability, positive outlook, the experience of peace is absolutely a direct consequence of
working with my psychiatrist who is excellent! after six years now, my meds have been
reduced: "because you don't need them," said he. (I first experienced wellness and stability after a course of Vitamin D, recommended by my doctor. wellness came very gently, i felt myself settle down.) i often say to him, "we just don't know how well i can get" since mine was the mania of
the suicidal type, i think i can say we have saved a life here. about purpose in life, that value
is still something of a blank for me. i take care of myself, i love my loved ones, i try to write..
that's about it at the moment.
in my original equation severity of symptoms should be "subject to change"
so, in my equation, as severity of symptoms decrease, excellence of psychiatrist shines forth,
becomes manifest to client. the work becomes more creative, proactive (forward moving)
the reason i left treatment so many times in the past is because i could not find a
doctor that i liked, believed in, trusted. so i wouldn't have got my "foot in the door"
towards a path of wellness had it not been for the excellence of my doctor. when i was
a suffering person with no ability to exercise positive choices and thinking
styles i had to follow his lead, and that i did. my road to wellness began with my
decision to be compliant with the treatment plan he laid out for me. yet, from the
beginning my doctor said i was in charge, i was the captain of my ship of fate.
i just couldn't do it that way when i was very sick.
another reason to avoid or flee from treatment is not wanting to let go of
the manic high. to my psychiatrist i liken this to the cocaine high. where this
is the case, the doctor and family have to negotiate with the patient to choose
wellness over getting high, and i can't see any difference here between the
bipolar in this chosen manic state and any other addict, except that the "meth lab" is
in one's own head.
i read and hear alot of this:
"Later Karen performs an ‘experiment’, purposefully stressing
over a disturbed student, keeping herself awake at night – all in order to kick-start the creative ideas she craves."
Me and Her: A Memoir of Madness Karen Tyrrell
"I work best, or at least most intensely, when I work myself into a hypomanic (just below manic) state fueled by sleep deprivation and focused excitement."
Off the Deep End: Diary of a Mathematician, Scott Axelrod
a person w bipolar disorder out of treatment or refusing treatment is tragic,
in my opinion. so, if we want to prevent tragedies the first wave has to be
with the doctors' training.
when patient becomes client
i've been reading an excellent paper, hard to get,
“As these examples from the clinical literature illustrate, the managing self of biomedical discourse is predicated on a distinct notion of authentic selfhood as something that is and must be delineated and distanced from the disease. According to this logic, there exists a subtle but actual boundary between the real person—who is characterized by coherence and stability, or continuity across time—and disease manifestations that may take the appearance of personhood and ‘‘fool’’ the untrained patient.”
The (Un)managed self: paradoxical forms of agency in self-management of bipolar disorder.
Talia Weiner; Cult Med Psychiatry. 2011 Dec ;35 (4):448-83 21874387
here we find your important concept:
"coherence and stability, or continuity across time"