Suicidal Thoughts without Tirggers

Hi all. I was wondering if anyone here has experience in dealing with thoughts of suicide coming up abruptly.

For over a month, it felt as though I had left my bp mess behind, but it's been creeping back up again. Maybe I was desensitized to suicidal thoughts earlier, when they were a daily thing, and that's why I'm freaking out about them so much now. Or maybe this is the proper reaction to these thoughts.

Anyhow, I'm really lost on this, and I'm hoping someone could share some things that work for them. Thanks for any help

ARe they like random thoughts that just burst in your mind, and you're not wanting to do it, but just the thought sprints through your mind? I've had stuff like that pop in my mind about a myriad of things, usually taboo things that one would never discuss with people.

it doesn't mean I want to do them or think they're right per se, but it still pops in there from time to time. I've just learned to not speak of them, and that I don't really want to do them, or think they're ok. But I try not to stress over them.

Hey Faithless,

I also struggle with suicidal thoughts on a somewhat regular basis. I can imagine my life following a particular trajectory where I become really unwell and can't recover. Faced with unceasing mental suffering and the inability to function I worry that it will feel too much like being trapped in a burning building and I'll end up killing myself. It isn't so much an escapist fantasy, it's really something I dread because I think it's somewhat probable. At least, as probable as say getting pancreatic cancer. I think

I have pretty much constant suicidal thoughts, ranging from 'I wanna die' *ignores that and goes back to cooking* all the way to getting irritated because I discovered my pdoc prescribes me small amounts of medicine so that it's too little to actually follow my suicidal thoughts. I have identified a trigger for 'big ones' -- basically, financial stress and worries about future. But the 'small ones' just seem to follow me all the time unless I am hypomanic.

Thanks, you guys, for listening. I've just moved again, and don't have a psych/ therapist to bring these things up with.

->mindykay: yes, so far they're just thoughts about it, not the want to do 'it', though it was a scary thing when they came up yesterday, as I was driving. I'll try to not let them get to me too deeply.

->Jester: I hope you're ok right now; I didn't mean to post triggering things

Hi hon

I get these too - I am walking along and I think about something I could do to die at that time. Sometimes it is almost like an intellectual exercise

I hope you are OK - thinking of you

Huge hugs

Cracked

Are they literally just thoughts seemingly unrelated to anything (like mine), faithless, or are you depressed/something else in addition and they crept back together with that?

Big hug.

Oh, I get those too, I'll be driving, and, "I could just drive into that tree." Or, "I wonder if, and how many times I'd flip over if I went down that ditch." Kind of random, pop in my head thoughts, without the intention, but almost an allure, as if it is just another thing, no big deal. Of course it's a big deal. I'm not suicidal when they pop up in my head, they are just random, unemotional thoughts that I have no control over. I've gotten used to them, they don't really frighten me anymore.

The closest I've ever come (and I was in a real bad state), was testing out the curb, imagining the trajectory of my body if I wasn't buckled, thinking about that nice light pole coming up on the right...

I didn't of course, I thought of my kids, and what it'd do to them, and it helped me hang on.

I'll be driving, and, "I could just drive into that tree." Or, "I wonder if, and how many times I'd flip over if I went down that ditch." Kind of random, pop in my head thoughts, without the intention, but almost an allure, as if it is just another thing, no big deal. Of course it's a big deal. I'm not suicidal when they pop up in my head, they are just random, unemotional thoughts that I have no control over.

Oh my god, that's exactly what they are like.

I think the suicidal thoughts and urges to sh are being triggered by the stress of bad health. Two separate Dr.s have said "could be cancer", but none-one has said it isn't . They ran a lot of tests, and have planned more, but no answers yet, and I can't stand this waiting

I hope you get answers soon hon and that is it good news. It must be a huge worry for you

Huge hugs

Cracked