Feels like a mistake!!

Hi everyone, haven't posted anything for a while but since my last one its all gone Pete Tong. I got caught, stupidly decided to get a Mcdonalds (something I never eat) with my best friend. Obviously it all got a bit to much I came home and was sick. Didn't know my friend was stood outside the bathroom at this point and it went from there.

My family found out and after the arguments they now cant stop crying, my husband just blames himself. Work now know and made me go on the sick for what it now 3 months, back on restricted duties though which is even more depressing. My family and work forced me to go to the doctors, he put me on anti-depressants and sent me to my local mental health hospital to speak with somebody there.

Now going to that place just basically made me feel like I was fully mental and the guy talked to me like I had a degree in psychology and understood what I was saying....It completely blagged my head.

Well the point I'm really trying to make is after 4 months of of doctors visits and psychology visits where they assessed me every time. I've now been told I have 9-12 months waiting list before I can actually get any treatment.

So now when I see my family and friends its always a case of 'right are you back to normal'. I feel like I made a massive mistake in telling my friend after she heard me. I wish i'd said it was a one off. All these assessments and arguments with my family have been horrible and in the end have got my absolutely no where. I'm kinda resigning myself now to the fact this is me, I will always be this.

I've got every self help book under the sun, including hypnotherapy CD'S all of which I get annoyed and frustrated at and throw them around the room. I've even gone to a group meeting which was over eaters anonymous. It sounds horrible but I could relate to any of them, 8 women weighing about 14-15 stone each and i'm *edited*, I didn't last long there.

Can anyone recommend anything that actually works, I'm fed up of having this but no matter how many things I try I just cant seem to shift it. I want to wake up not feeling like crap and just eat what what I like. Doctors and Psychiatrist haven't helped at all and i'm feeling very much on my own with this battle.

Thanks for any comments.
Love Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,

Sounds like you have had a lot to deal with recently, I am so sorry. perhaps a bulimia support group would be of more use to you if you can find one. I hope you get help soon too, waiting is very difficult. Thinking of you.

Cracked