hello new member

hi , im new to this forum tonight
not sure where to really start.
im 27 , married , mum of three and have struggled with my weight all my life.
i have recently discovered that i have compulsive eatng disorder and am looking for some support. my husband is not aware as i have not told him through shame.
i was always a big child and suffered years of bullying at school and constant snide remarks from a family member as i was growing up. you hear the words "your fat" enough and after a while you start to believe them.
i have tried all diets going , maybe lose some weight but then it always goes back on and more.
i have put on about 3 stone in the past two years and am at the heaviest i have ever been (size 22 , 17 stone) and quite honestly disgusted with myself and feel very alone.
am still recieving negative comments from certain family members about my weight which does nothing to help me.
my triggers to binge seem to be emotional , if im happy , sad , stressed , i want to eat.
i dont like the feeling of being hungry , i am almost fearful of it.
i also have no idea of the right foods to be eating.
i have spent hours searching the net for help and infomation but cannot find alot. although there does seem to be alot of advertisments for quick fix diets or pills which is not the way i want to go , i have three young kids and need to stay healthy for their sakes as well as my own.
i seem to become a bit of a hermit , i have a wide group of friends but often turn down going out as i have nothing to wear and feel to self conscious.
to be honest i am sick of living inside a shell ,life is too short for that.
has anyone got any advice or tips on how to help myself stop over eating ??
any help would be great.
thanks

Hi,

Firstly, tell those people who are insulting you to just shut up. You could also start pointing out 'flaws' in their own bodies, but this revenge tactic never really proves effective (and you seem too intelligent and nice to resort to that). But, seriously, have a word with them and tell them how hurt you feel when they make their comments. They are bullying you, effectively, but they don't realise it.

Coming here is a good start because you'll meet like-minded folk here. I'm 26 now and have had bulimia/binge-eating disorder for a few years. It's so sad that we resrt to this behaviuor, but I don't blame myself. rather, I feel like a vvictim of a society that demans people look their best.

Kevin

hi kevin
thanks 4 your thoughts and advice , sorry to hear that you have suffered with this too.
it is very hard to find like minded people to talk too who understand what you are going through.
how have you managed ??
have you found anything that works for you ??
i do feel alot better after writing on the forum last night and will continue to do so , it is a good outlet.
thank you for replying to my post.

Hi,

I have managed to cope in an unusual way, to be honest; I learned to accept that I have bulimia and to just try to live with it. You see, fighting it was futile. So, I gave up/surrendered, and then got on with other things. Another thing that I have found helps is to change things in your life. Like, whenever I go visiting people, my bulimia seems to vanish - I have no urge to do it. Have you noticed this too when you go out to places?

Kevin

hi

thats not an unusual way to cope , if i works for you then thats good.
i do find in social situations i monitor what i eat as i am consious if people are watching me and what they may think if i eat alot.i also dont really think about food that much as my mind is occupied , however if i am on my own (which i often am of an evening because my husband works shifts) thats when i tend to lose control in my "eating zone" and dont really register how much i have eaten until i stop.
i have bought loads of arts and crafts etc and say to myself that when i get the urge to eat i am going to do those instead , but its like i have a total mind blank reach for the food and its not until afterwards that i think , should have done the arts and crafts instead ! gets very fustrating.

Hi,

I am at my worst when alone too. However, I recently moved out into my own apartment and haven't binged yet. There is simply too much to do and I'm completely surround by a new environment, and this helps to prevent me bingeing. If I stay here long enough though, I know that I'll do it. It's always on my mind, but the urges vary in intensity.

Which craft things did you buy? I have tried stuff like that but the urge to binge always wins the day. It's such a strange thing, isn't it? It's like we don't control our own body.