I tried to kick the binge eating

I'm not really sure how I feel about this week - I spent it trying 110% to sort out my food/weight issues. It doesn't seem great, but equally, there were some good things happening with respect to my food/weight issues.

So, the bad things first:
*I overate at meal times
*I gained 3 pounds - eeeeek!
*I ate a take away
*We ate at restaurants while in Scotland for the weekend

I felt like I didn't have much control over the take away and restaurant meals. I mean, we ordered the take away while we were packing the cases on Friday night...just as we were about to set off. Then of course there were all those restaurant meals....eeek! I know that couldn't be helped but I think I could have made better choices, I just didn't want to.

So, onto the good things:
*I haven't binged this week
*I haven't snacked this week

Ok, so the 2 good points seem kind of outnumbered by the bad points BUT actually they don't when I think about it. I mean, I have been bingeing all day, every day and snacking between for months now. So to manage a whole week with eating a bit much at meal times, but not bingeing and not snacking.....well actually I think it's quite incredible!

That said, I should feel good...inspired...positive...but I don't really feel any of that. I feel worried. Worried that now I have sorted out the binge-eating and snacking problem - that I might now go back to starving myself. This is a familiar cycle for me...binge...starve...binge...starve. I would love to lose this extra weight - but I don't want to do it through starvation...it's just that it gets addictive seeing those numbers going down on the scales and it's like I have no control over it. I haven't started restricting or anything like I did last year though...yet.

I know I'm rambling, was just wondering if anyone else can understand this binge- starve cycle?