Hi I'm new - really long, sorry

Hi there, I don't really know where to start, I've always had a battle with my weight, I'm 25, 5 feet 6 inches and I weigh just over 16 and a half stone. I am desparately unhappy with my weight, it seriously affects me as a person and I feel anxious in social situations. The more and more I have been reading about it I am sure I am suffering from a binge eating disorder. I really want to talk to someone about it but I find it too hard, I tried to tell my husband, but he just said I was being silly and that I don't eat that much, I couldn't bring myself to tell him about my secret bingeing. I also have PCOS, and he believes my weight problem is down to that.
My boss in work often comments on how little I eat for lunch - but then I make up for it when I'm alone. I eat portions so big I feel sick and bloated, but I can't stop myself. I used to smoke and I gave that up no problem, I find food cravings alot worse than cigarette cravings. My husband works shifts and I plan my binges for when he works afternoons or nights, I hiide cakes and chocolates in my car or in my bag, wait until he's gone and sit and eat until every last bit is gone.
I eat when i'm stressed, sad, lonely, bored. Food is making my life a misery. I did try to start making myself sick after food but I just couldn't do it, I have even considered trying laxatives, but I am scared that if I go and buy some they will see how fat I am and be convinced that I am taking them to lose weight.
I have been on every diet under the sun over the last 2 years, which is when I think this started really taking hold, but I can never last more than a couple of weeks.
I understand now that diets don't work for someone like me, I need to control my binges. I have started making a diary of when I eat and when I feel cravings coming on.
I still don't feel I can beat this on my own, I want to tell someone, I know I should see my Doctor but I'm scared they will think Im being stupid and they wont take me seriously.

Sorry this is a bit long, I am just hoping there are people on here who know what I'm going through because I feel so alone at the moment.

Hello, GJ123,
First of all - welcome to this forum. Your are already on the right way because you are looking for help. And keep in mind- having a disorder of any kind does not mean being not as worthy as others. It just means a chemical imbalance somewhere in your head!
I can recommend you the following:
-When you feel the binge coming, catch yourself in the middle of the act. Say "STOP" to yourself, sit back and think. What is making you want to eat? Is it a problem, stress, boredom? Try to eliminate the problem at first, then try to do another activity - reading, writing something into your diary, watching television, going shopping, tidying up or anything else you can think of.

Do not use laxatives. They make you addicted and might destroy your inner digestion flora which causes several problems. If you have problems with your digestion, drink special teas or water.

Do not forbid yourself to eat and do not skip meals. This will only make you want to binge even more. Do not forbid yourself any special foods either because then you will want them. This does not hapen because you are weak, it is a natural psychological phenomenon.

Make yourself an eating plan. Include several balanced snacks and meals in it and allow yourself to snack between the meals. For example you might include a breakfast at eight o'clock, then a snack at 11o'clock, lunch at two o' clock, a snack at five o'clock, and dinner at eight o'clock. By snacking in between the meals you prevent eating a lot at once in the meals.

Do not vomit if you feel you have eaten too much. This will trigger another chain of problems such as stomacaches, bad teeth, and problems with your esophagus, maybe even esophagus cancer and many other ilnesses connected with the digestive system.

Choose healthy, balanced meals consisiting of a lot of vegetables, fruit, whole grain products, milk products, fish. Allow yourself to have something sweet after each meal and enjoy it thoroughly. For example take a small piece of chocolate and letting it fond in your mouth. Sugar free candies are also a good choice. Yoghurts, cheese and quark are good for your digestive system as they contain lactobacillus acidophilus which is an important part of the digestive flora.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so you should in any case have a well-balanced breakfast consisiting of bread or cereal, cheese or other milk products.

Try not to eat in your room or your car. Sit down properly at the table when you have something to eat.

Do not try to get rid of your problem overnight. It will take time and patience, but since you want to do it, you will do so.

Please tell me if these tips are helpful for you and write to me anytime you want!
Big hug and good luck for you.

Hello,
Thanks for that, yes your tips are very helpful. I find it difficult to realise that this is a chemical imbalance as you said. I feel as though I am inadequate and somehow inferior to everyone because of my size and the fact that I binge eat. I'm trying to avoid it but I know I need to see my GP, I don't think I'm going to be able to solve this otherwise.
I don't know if you have heard of it but I have read a book by Hypnotist Paul Mckenna called I can make you thin. It is so amazing, and I do believe it's the answer but I still find it hard to follow his rules and end up bingeing. The rules are:-
1. When you are hungry - eat
2. Eat what you want not what you think you should
3. eat slowly and conciously
4. when you feel comfortably full - stop
I will make an appointment with the Doctor but there is a months waiting list - that's just my normal GP, it's terrible!
I also want to tell my mum, I need to do it, just posting on here made me feel as though a weight had been lifted.
Thanks so much for your words of advice and I think I'll be on here quite alot!