Again and again... AND AGAIN.

And again....

And yet again...

And once more..

And hey, "just this last time"

"I promise myself ...etc"

"I swear to God ....etc"

.... And yet, I seem to hang on to food like it was the oxygen that I breathe... Only a few months ago I was at a lovely healthy weight...

The trigger?

Pathetic as it will sound,,, I was dating someone and things didn't work out.

It may have been the last straw in a much deeper swamp of loneliness, deppression, boredom, but it sure was the cherry on the cake!

3 months later, I am about 15-16 lbs heavier, and am caught in the most vicious of cycles I've EVER been trapped in. I cannot for the life of me break free.

I used to have a will power of steel.. My body was always quick to react to dieting and excercise and yet now any attempt to lose the weight is completely futile.

I have not only given up hope, but I also keep turning to food for comfort... I KNOW "rationally" that food is not the solution to my problems blah blah blah.


But I keep grasping it like it were life itself! Like I would lose something very important if I don't stuff my face!! It's as if I am literally stuffing down my sorrows, burying them with the food, literally...

I wasn't this kind of person before !!! My God, I wasn't !!!!!!
I am EXTREMELY lonely. This is the lowest of lows, the pit, the worst I've ever been in my life. I'm in a transitional phase where I'm about to leave to start a new life elsewhere but I am so scared, I don't know what damn invisible obstacles I'm putting in front of me but I feel SO STUCK......

I BEG YOU TO HELP ME BREAK THE CYCLE !!!!!!!!

The way my body works, I have to starve a little to get results... But everytime I think I'm on a diet, my body resists beyond all willpower, it's like it's got a mind of its own..

It's very comforting to read the posts here because at least I know I'm not alone (in this and other issues I've got as well). But I have to take matters into my own hands and DO something before the 16 lbs become 26 and 36 and 1000 !!

UTTER DESPAIR... 'nuff said.

The cycle is very hard to break if you look at it on the whole. You have to make small changes to it and eventually you may realise hat the cycle has long gone without you even noticing it.

You have to embrace change.

I'm trying desperately hard now too.



Kevin.

Never thought of it this way, Kevin! I may just do that.. Yes, you're right, I do look at it as a whole and that's what makes it harder to have hope that things would ever change! Maybe if I took it one day at a time.. In cases like these, every single day that passes without a binge is a success!

Let's see what comes of it.. I'm tired..

Well, certainly tell me gow things go. I shall be thinking of you my friend.