I desperately need help.

Hi everyone. My name is Adriana and i'm 15 years old.

I've been having suspicions that I might have BED for a while now. It really started back about last summer after I had eaten way too much. I felt extremely sick and I started thinking that after eating, that's just how I always felt. Sick, uncomfortable and some what guilty. I research overeating and it came up with BED and Compulsive eating. I read up on it and decided to instead leave it alone because I figured I was overreacting.

For a project at school in our Health and Wellness where we had to research something and I decided to maybe go back and look more thoroughly at BED. I had told my friend about my suspicion and she said I was just totally taking it way to seriously and to leave it alone. I did and researched something else. It was still constantly circling around in my mind all the time.

Now, after researching and re-researching over and over again and seeing all the symptoms for the millionth time, I realize that I might have a serious problem and that I really need help. The problem is I don't know where to go for help and I don't feel like I can talk about it with anyone. My family does put quite the emphasize on food and my mom is constantly feeding me. Anytime I tell her i'm not hungry she gets really 3rd degree on me. "Why don't you want to eat?", "What did you eat?", "When did you eat?", "Are you sure you don't want to eat?". So to stop her questioning, I just eat.

I also have developed a weird compulsion where I constantly open the fridge at least 6 or 7 times withing half an hour of getting home to find something to eat and when I can't, I get really desperate for it. I often do this when i'm not even hungry, I sometimes do it even if I had just finished eating 20 minutes ago.

I also LOVE to cook, especially for myself. Every time I make a pot full of something, I have to eat all of it. I try to stop and just keep going back for more. I might eat and then stop for about 20 minutes and then go back for more and then more and then more. Just about 3 hours ago I ate an entire pot (small to medium, like a large rice cooker pot) of chicken soup that I made for myself. I ate one plate and then went back for another and I could feel my stomach become more full and more full but I just kept going. I stopped for about half an hour before going back and getting another plate after another after another. Even though the soup was cold, I just kept going and going. I could feel the food in my throat not wanting to go down, not because it was bad but because my stomach just couldn't take anymore of it.

Sorry for the extremely long post but this is really starting to make me worry. I thought I had it under control for awhile and then... well I just can't stop eating. Thanks to anyone who can help.

hey adriana, you're always welcome to talk here...

now you see the thing about binge eating is...it's very common...difference is some of us do it continously and more frequently than others......

cooking is great...but do you know what leads you to sit down and binge?...is it just boredom, are you depressed about something?....often when we have time to kill,or are thinking about something...we sit and eat.....alot.....i have the same problem....but i've started to find distraction....i continuously write down notes to myself to not binge....and well if i end up doing it....i let go and try to start over.....

the guilt is absolutely understandable.....and i know it makes you feel sick....but when it comes to cooking, why don't you cook less food...then you'll have less to binge on....and as soon as you finish cooking...why not offer it to the rest of the family.....

i really think you need to find a distraction...divert your mind you know...then you wont have time to keep looking for food....do other things you like...read...go out somewhere.....once this becomes your habit....you'll think less about food and more about other things you can do....

about your mum, yeah i know...when i was younger they just would force me to eat, felt horrible..especially if it was after a binge, but be more assertive if you can.....or just try not to binge for 2 to 3 hours before you know it's time for you to have a meal with everyone.....and in between when she wants you to try soemthing, and you're not hungry tell her you'll try it later when you are hungry....

hope this helps you , take care k

Thanks!

I guess a lot of time i'm just bored and I run of things to read or do or something. There are times when I feel really pissed or sad or something and I eat, but I don't really realize at the time it's happening why i'm eating so much. I've tried cooking less food before but then I just go back and make more or I find something else to eat like, cereal or whatever snacks are around.

The times I eat are also kinda erratic, they certainly aren't consistent. Does anyone think that might be a problem?

hey i just think its all part of the binging.....you dont need a set timing....you do it anytime.....
and if it is boredom...then you have to strat finding other things to do.....indoor or outdoors...or both, whatever you like......just try and do whatever makes you feel good.....and take your time....get really involved...and you'll divert your attention from the food.....

hope you can start to find a distraction.....and the timing thing is natural....probabaly when you are bored....and theres no timing for that is there?...

I guess there isn't.

Thanks so much for your help!

no worries...just take care of yourself ok...and post here any time you feel like it.....
poisoned cribellum