I'm new, and have just 'realised' the extent of my problem

Hey everyone. I am so glad that I've found this forum. I can't remember ever eating completely normally, but right now things are worse than usual.

About a year ago, I moved to the other side of the world, to my beloved boyfriend's home country, Norway. I feel very much alone, especially now that he has taken a job in another city and I am alone every other week. I have been smoking hash and binging, crazily, despite seeing a therapist and having a few new but understanding friends here, as well as email contact with some great friends back at home.

I have not smoked or binged for 2 days, but it is very hard. I should probably add that I binge without smoking, but I think the smoking is just an excuse to eat. I don't even get high - I used to smoke far too much pot back at home and it pretty much does absolutely nothing for me anymore...and yet I can't stop. My boyfriend and I have had serious talks about this before, and I 'reformed', stopped being such a stoner, and as things were going well my binge eating decreased.

Now, however, every unpleasant addiction I can think of is back. I feel like I have no willpower whatsoever - if I just tried harder I could fix this. My boyfriend knows that I have food problems, but he doesn't know that I have been smoking again. He's very anti-drug, and I can understand why.

I'm getting fatter and fatter and I hate it. I don't want him to not love me because I'm too fat or because I'm messed up. He isn't like that at all, and is wonderfully supportive, and yet these fears don't go away.

bohemia....hi!first good job on not binging or smoking for 2 days!it's tough keeping control.....
you're lucky to have some one who loves you so much....

now since you know what you're doing isn't right...you need to take steps to stop it...ofcourse it's not easy...but you're probably doing it more often because you're alone most of the time....or is there any thing else that leads you to do it?

i often binge when i'm bored....having nothing to do..or just am sitting and thinking and feeling down...so i try my best to keep myself occupied doing whatvere i can and like to do..another thing that has helped me has been writing a little note to my self every night about how i shouldnt binge, reasons why i dont want to(like it makes me feel like crap).....what i should do instead of binging(chores,go work out).....and it's become such a habit that i've really cut down on binging

everyone has the will...you just need to bring it all the way upto the surface and keep trying to control your urges.....and when you know what are the things that lead you to binge....you can start working on them.....and why do you smoke when it has no effect on you?...sorry i'm just trying to understand this...push it away..you dont need it.....one thing leads to another and if you can cut out those which lead you to do what you don't really want to...it will really help....

i dont know much about drugs.....but i hope this helps.....