Why do I do this?

I've always been a little chubby, but in the past few years I've put on a fair bit of weight. For some reason, I really love the idea of binge eating, of just stuffing myself with food, particularly fattening food - this feelings come and go and are closely related with my sexual mood. I also find many chubby girls very attractive and sexy, and often have strange urges and wants to also be fat. This thus brings on wanting to eat and eat, and unfortunately its often what I end up doing. Sometimes I find being chubby a real turn on, and at others I'm completely disgusted with myself and wished I had enough motivation to exercise more. I dont know what it is that's wrong with me, nor why I'm attracted to the very notion of being chubby.

aradael wrote:I've always been a little chubby, but in the past few years I've put on a fair bit of weight. For some reason, I really love the idea of binge eating, of just stuffing myself with food, particularly fattening food - this feelings come and go and are closely related with my sexual mood. I also find many chubby girls very attractive and sexy, and often have strange urges and wants to also be fat. This thus brings on wanting to eat and eat, and unfortunately its often what I end up doing. Sometimes I find being chubby a real turn on, and at others I'm completely disgusted with myself and wished I had enough motivation to exercise more. I dont know what it is that's wrong with me, nor why I'm attracted to the very notion of being chubby.

Hi aradael,
I've not quite sure if I understand your bingeing. Are you eating masses of junk food to put on weight? Food loaded with extra calories and this is linked to your sexuality?

Not that you are bingeing and then dieting , exerersing or purging or reducing you junk food intake?

peace.
red