New here

Hello! I'm a binge eater. It has caused a lot of depression, self-esteem, clothing, energy, and other issues. This is the fattest I have ever been, I have never had this little energy, and I need a change but am struggling with making it on my own. I am looking forward to trying a support forum as a way to power through this and become a healthier, happier person.

Looking forward to meeting you!

Hello Betterfuture
Struggling with Binge Eating and Atypical Depression for eight years now. Weight is a mess bc it causes me social anxiety to go out.
Never wrote in this forum either but I think it's a good start to contribute here by introducing myself too.

Hello to both...new here too.

I have been fat shamed by my mother since I was 10 years old. At 14 I suffered from anorexia. At 16 I suffered from bulimia. Throughout my 20's I fluctuated with weight and always ate large portions. I had an addiction to fast food.

At 25 I had a son....I gained 50 pounds. After birth I developed the "muffin gut" "mommy apron"...where my stomach muscles sag over. So despite exercise or how much weight I lose I'll always have that "apron." I soon developed body image disorder if thats such a thing. I struggled for 10 years after to lose weight. The only thing that worked was the Jenny Craig program where I lost 30 pounds. I soon gained all the weight back and even more. I developed hypothyroidism and take synthroid.

I am now 37 and I am the heaviest I have ever been. My clothes don't fit. I wear the same stretchy pants and over throw sweater even in 90 degree weather. And knowing this...I still binge. Sometimes in a day Ill eat a bagel, mcdonalds and pizza. Then I spend the rest of the night hating myself and wanting to punish myself the next day. So I'll try to starve myself...but towards the end of the night my blood sugar is so low I overeat with fast food and cycle repeats itself.

Occasionally I can do a week of healthy eating...I'll feel good. Confident. But then I'll slip...and if I slip early in the day I spiral for the rest of it.

I hate this love/hate relationship I have with food. Its such a battle. I think about food all the time. I can't seem to have a normal relationship with food. I abuse it instead of using it as fuel.

Im glad to find a community where Im not alone

New here too. Desperate and need help. Hoping I can find it here.