Guidance? Support?

I've suffered with binge eating and overeating behaviours for nearly 10 years now. It's finally gotten to the point where I feel out of control and do not know how to be around food.
Every time I think about eating I get upset, supermarkets, restaurants, eating in public are all impossible tasks. But then... when I've gotten so stressed, this can be over unrelated things, gotten so upset, gotten to the peak of where I don't know what to do... those things, supermarkets, restaurants... I'm obsessed with it.
I carefully browse the aisle selecting what I will hide with in my room that night, I pick what I know I can eat fast and a lot of. I slowly look through all the biscuits wondering if the digestives are quicker to wolf down or the rich tea, which one is more dry, I don't want to slow myself down by needing a drink half way through. Which icecream is easier to eat, if I get the mint choc chip it's slowly because I have to chew the chunks... but I know that one fills me up better than the salted caramel one. I pick up a few more goodies, a bag slab of chocolate, a packet of double stuffed oreos, a large bottle of coke to wash it all down with but it can only be drank after eating everything. Something savory and warm to eat in between. For this I usually go for chips, waffles, wedges, anything I can stick in the oven while I'm chowing down on the sweet stuff and it'll be ready when I'm done.
I feel incredibly calm whilst I pick everything and every time I say it will be the last time. I just need to do it like this and then tomorrow I can tart a fresh, water and fruits only, work out for 3hours a day. I will be fine. I will lose weight. I will be happy. It's ok. Just one more time and it will make me feel better.
I lost count at how many times I've done this to myself. Today was another one of those days.
I have no one to talk to about this. I'm waiting for referral to the eating disorder clinic but from day to day there is no one.
I've never met anyone who understands my obsess and disgust with food. I need someone to talk to in moments of when I think I will binge, someone to stop me, distract me. I need something, anything. I can't go another day with this being my life.

Can I just ask: how are you now?