Years of binging after dieting - finally asking for help

The documentary was basically about her trying to go from her natural size 8 to a size 4 (US size zero) in 30 days, to show the dangers of crash dieting and the size zero trend. The whole point was that she was not a skinny-gaunt-Posh-type and was doing the diet not because she wanted to become that way, but to show others the dangers of the trend.

I've spoken with my fiancé about just how he can help - by supporting me and not by questioning what I have had to eat or trying to make me eat more. I can understand that it's difficult for him as well though. I have to see how it goes over the next couple of weeks. I have an appointment with a support group in mid-April and they also have groups for family-members etc. I may send him there if they think it's helpful.

Hiya

Yes, the Louise Redknapp documentary was interesting. It affected her mood so much, made her relationship with her family more difficult and also it made her on the verge of wanting to diet more even though she obviously didn't need to. You could see her thought processes were being affected by the lack of food.

Dubdoll - well done for speaking to your fiance. How is it going now?

bluemonday
X

bluemonday, its going, well, OK. thanks for asking.

We're going to stay with his family for the easter weekend and that wont be the easiest. I'm already worrying about the food - its amazing the way preoccupations with food can take over your life.

His family are typically Bavarian - lots of meat, meaty sauces, potato dumplings - the expression "cooking light" doesnt mean much to them! I'm not a big fan of meat at the best times - I eat it but rarely cook it for myself, prefer veggie food. Now, its even harder, because Im not used to eating that much and I know they (and my fiancé) will be watching what I eat over the weekend. He asked me yesterday had I any requests for meals over the weekend and I suggested turkey/chicken and veggies/salad someday....and then told me that actually his parents had already planned what to cook but he would ask them to make this for me.

Obviously I dont want special meals cooked just for me, and told him this, but said I didnt know how much of the other stuff I could eat....This blew up into an argument (not helped by my already unrelated bad mood) with him acusing me of not wanting to spend the weekend with them, not liking their cooking and making everything about food! Didnt go too well!

Anyway, I had to get that little rant off my chest and see if anyone else has similar experiences. I have begun to hate eating at other people's homes because I have no control over what I can eat. Sad, eh?

How is everyone else getting on? Worried about the chocolate temptation of easter?

dd

It's not so sad at all. I hate it when we have dinners in other peoples' homes and I also hate going to restaurants because everything on the menu is invariably going to have something 'bad' in it. It has ben much easier recently though because my entire family know that I have Aperger's syndrome; So, they know to pretty much ask me what I specifically want to eat.


The Easter is not so bad for me. I just live with my parents and both have high cholesterol so there are no Easter eggs around. Easter was never a problem really actually. It's Christmas that's a killer. Last Christmas (Hey! That's a song by Wham!) was the worst ever, not for food, but for stress.


Kevin.

the holidays are tough for me too. it feels like theres one right after another and im constantly preparing for the next. Thanksgiving > Christmas > New Years > my birthday > valentines > easter > then summertime is coming which is scary for me too because that means vacation. all bring the temptation of all my weaknesses. i know it may sound weird because all of those holidays are about a month apart but it takes me a while to rebound from bingeing and get back to normal (well, somewhat) eating and also theres so many times around the holidays where i have to eat out/visit family and such.
since i started having problems with binge eating, i just see everything in cycles now. i hate it.

anyway right now im trying to prepare myself for easter so i can celebrate the day for what it is and trying not to make it all about food.

sarahs wrote:the holidays are tough for me too. it feels like theres one right after another and im constantly preparing for the next. Thanksgiving > Christmas > New Years > my birthday > valentines > easter > then summertime is coming which is scary for me too because that means vacation. all bring the temptation of all my weaknesses. i know it may sound weird because all of those holidays are about a month apart but it takes me a while to rebound from bingeing and get back to normal (well, somewhat) eating and also theres so many times around the holidays where i have to eat out/visit family and such.
since i started having problems with binge eating, i just see everything in cycles now. i hate it.

anyway right now im trying to prepare myself for easter so i can celebrate the day for what it is and trying not to make it all about food.

Sarahs,
That is it, make it about the day, at least you see cycles and you are trying to balance right? It is hard at first.. I bet you can bust the cycle by not having to rebound from it to begin with.

If you are strong enough to be self aware girl, you and everyone else here can do this.

Self Awareness is so important.
JMHO

peace,
red

How has everyone found Easter?

I have found it difficult. Being surrounded by chocolate has been hard, I would like to be able to cope with it but think I am a way off from that. I should have thrown it all away rather than tried to manage.

It has been nice to see family over Easter though, I am trying to think about that rather than my food failures. And also to see tomorrow as a new day and not let it carry on too much (sarah you put it well - about it taking a while to rebound from bingeing) - maybe with self awareness we can get back to normality quicker.

Hope everyone is okay.

bluemonday
X

Hey Blue,

Thanks for checking-up on us all. My Easter break is not yet over because I have all of this week off too. I have been studying around 5 hours each day though so there is no true break. I've only seen one Easter egg around the house and half of it is still in the kitchen. I have no urge to eat it though; It's my parents'. I can be extremely disciplined when I want to be.


You're back to work on Tuesdy I assume? I hope it isn't too bad going back because I seem to recall that you said your work is stressful.


Take care my dear,
Kevin

Hi everyone,

Well done Kev! I dont think I could have resisted that in my house!

Well, I'm back from the in-laws' and it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. I managed to stay away from the chocolate (well, I haven't eaten it since Christmas now so I thought it would be foolish to give in now) and I had to eat some cake but I took it all in moderation. Phew! Thats over!!

Ten more days til my first session with the therapist. I'm actually looking forward to it. Well, not so much looking forward to it as wanting to talk to someone "qualified" about my problems. TBH, at this stage I dont know what my problem is. My thinness was commented upon a number of times again over the weekend and my fiancés aunt was asking him if I was anorexic. They just see the diet part of the cycle - but maybe it has gone a bit far this time Roll on next Thursday....

dubs

Do people normally make open comments about other peoples' weight / figure? I ask because there was an article in the Irish Independant yesterday about a lady who went to dinner in Dublin with her friends. The author was about to go on a sun-holiday and one of her friends asked her if she was going to wear a bikini. The authour admitted in the article that she was not super-skinny but when she said that - 'yes' - she would be wearing a bikini her friends eyed-up up in a shocked manner.


I dunno... ...stuff like that just seems so insensitive.


You'll 'enjoy' the therapist. Trust me; the feeling you have coming out of it will be a great one. You'll probably be eager to go back again.


Take care,
Kevin