I'm new and struggling

reading through this really helped me.. for the longest time i felt like i was the only one who went through this haha so im glad i finally searched for a binge eating forum.

i just wanted to say that after i binge and brush my teeth (its always at night, and thats how i stop.. as im bingeing im always telling myself that i need to stop and brush my teeth because thats the only thing that keeps me from eating any more.) anyway, after brushing my teeth i immediately wish I could rewind and just go back, undo what I did. and no matter how strongly i regret it, a lot of times ill do it again the next day. thats the most stressful thing - constantly feeling let down.

That's the most puzzling thing isn't it? ...You wish you had never done it but then you do it again anyway. After the binge I'm always left wondering why I couldn't just NOT do it in the first place.

...and they say we have free will? Then why can't I control my own mind.


Kevin.

Hiya

Hello again Chucky! And Sarah - welcome. I'm glad finding this forum has helped, I know it has really helped me just to know there are other people out there who understand what I am going through.

I really identify with what you say about constantly feeling let down. I am the same, each binge I swear will be my last and I do believe that, and then I often fail and binge again the next day.

I agree that it is puzzling, we get such strong regret when we finish a binge and yet we do it again. Why? I suppose when I start a binge the next day I almost go into auto-pilot, don't think about it, maybe the thinking only kicks in after the binge is finished. I'm not sure. I think habit is a big thing too.

Chucky - your Reynaud's Syndrome sounds nasty, I had a friend with that and she found it quite painful. I hope the weather is warming up for you. It's been a lovely sunny day here.

bluemonday
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Well, leading up to a binge my whole body feels tense as I try desperately to take my mind off of it. I eventually just cave-in though. This is why I have recently just accepted that I will binge and there is less stress that way. I've grown tired of fighting it so I just let it take me-over.

I feel a bit tense before a binge too. I generally feel tired or angry or sad too - I'm trying to learn to recognise these feelings, single them out and deal with them in some other way. It is so hard though.

bluemonday
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for me, it seems like it can happen any time.. ive binged when in a good mood and in a bad mood. Ill be doing fine and then i start thinking about food too much.. ill think about what we have in the house that i wish i could have and before i know it im planning a binge. first ill tell myself ill just have this or that and once i have it i feel like i ruined my diet and just go all out and eat everything. (usually anything sweet, nothing else interests me on a binge). so if i can just prevent those thoughts, then im fine. its tough but thats how i beat binges, as soon as i start thinking about it i try to get my mind off of it and think of something else.

Hi guys,

Wow, its good to hear that we are going through similar situations.

At the moment I cant relax at all - even watching tv or reading im constantly planning - what I will eat the next day, the next week, what I will wear to work the next day etc. etc. Mundane stuff that doesnt need to be thought about, but I cant seem to switch my brain off. Even during my yoga classes my mind is racing these days. I dont know if this is being caused my strict eating plans or if it is a cause for it. I just know that if I dont learn to relax again soon Im going to explode!

Kev, I know what you're going through with Raynauds - I suffer from it as well. Thank god it wasnt a cold winter and the sun is back!

dd

Raynaud's too? - That's cool (in the non-cool sort of way, if you get me). The winter here was pretty bad and my hands were bleeding a lot. Some days, they were in agony. It's not too bad now though.


I think we've all mentioned now how hard it is to just sit down and relax. Like, right now as I'm typing this my back is arched and I'm tense. I'm confidant this will all fade away eventually though.


Kevste

You're right, there are a lot of us who can't switch our brains off!

I feel quite stressed today. Does anyone else find they start worrying about one thing and it leads to lots of other things? I have small worries about eating, my weight (the usual) and something at work, but then I am adding to my worries by thinking about family stuff and something in the future I have no control over. I don't know why I feel the need to add to my worrying with extra stuff!

Hope everyone else is okay today.

bluemonday
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