THIS MAY HELP YOU

FIrst of all, thanks to the universe for this oportunity to comunicate with people who struggle with this 'thing' 'condition' 'problem'... and who is willing to support each other and heal themselves also.
So, thanks to all, ure brave, ure facing it, ure reaching out for help and trying to make things better.

Today I have this thought, maybe it can help you if you resonate with it:
Excessive control. Everything started with excessive control. I wanted to control myself, control my body, control my behaviour, restrict calories, be skinny like the girls from the magazines. For what? vanity. For what? acceptance from others. For what? Love.
So I wanted love. Did i find love that way? No.
Maybe I have to learn to love, to really love, and be loved in return.
Maybe thats the hole point of all of this.
Self love, start with self love... If i love myself i will be in a loving vibe and thats what people will feel and they will give love in return. That's how the universe works.
But, why in the first place, stopped loving myself. Or why did i never learned to trully love myself?
Fear, feeling of not being worth of getting love... because of, i dont know, not being strong enough...
Food means your'e mom... your'e mom means inconditional love, care, then.... I struggle with self love and getting love from others so... I eat, eat, eat, because I feel like I dont have enoguh LOVE in my life... BUT I CAN GIVE IT TO MYSELF IF I DECIDE TO! rigth know... I choose to love myself and take care of myelsf and not need anyone for that, and the universe will give me love in return not because i'm desperate for it, because i'm giving it, IF I FEEL IT FOR MYSELF I CAN HAVE LOVE TO GIVE TO OTHERS.
So I Say this affirmation:
'I am the great love to myself and others'
'I am worth love'
'I am worth for the most amazing feeling in the hole universe'
'I can give care and unconditional love to myself and others'
Love and peace to everyone, hugs.
SORRY iF MY ENGLISH IS NOT SO WELL (i speak spanish)
Have a great day. Trust the universe... ure mind is the universe, what you think is what you'll get, is all a matter of decicion and faith.
Bye!

Thank you!

This whole post made me tear up, after the day I had today.

I totally relapsed with my eating behaviors. I told myself I would do x, y, and z, but I didn't. I saw something I wanted, and all my previous thoughts and commitments to these want, this impossible need to drag myself out of my terrifying, dark hole of self pity and overeating compulsion, all those goals went out the window.

And, as usual, I hated myself for it.

But seeing your post, I felt very comforted. This is my first day here, and as terrible as it sounds, I'm comforted by the fact that there are other people here, like me, who have the same problem I do. Just knowing that I'm not alone makes these things a little bit better.

But a few words you said really spoke to me.

"But, why in the first place, stopped loving myself. Or why did i never learned to trully love myself?"

That's spot on. [i]Why[i] did I stop loving myself? [i]Why[i] have I never learned to love myself?

What is the exact reason behind this compulsive, uncontrollable behavior?

The answer to that particular question is still unknown to me, but all I need right now is some support and love. So thank you, a million times over, my friend.