Hi.

Well I've never done this before.

Hello, my name is Mel, I'm 17 and a secret binge eater. This wasn't my original purpose for comming here, but well, I've been watching this section and I've finally got up the nerve to post.

I've never really dealt with, or talked about my problem. In fact I've only accepted it fairly recently. I do have a friend that has come to know about my issue, but well it's not something she's ever been through unlike my other problems.

I never really admitted that I had a problem until a couple weeks ago when I weighed myself at my grandparent's house. I'm up to 190 lbs. Sure I'm still a bit small forr my weight but....

I've known a lot of severly obese people usually over the 400 lbs mark, and I'd always wonder how you could let yourself slip like that. That was my realization point, I'm getting there.

Four years ago I weighed 155 lbs, and I was working out as gym is mandatory in your first year of highschool.

I'm rather depressed, most of the time. Things in my life are just starting to get better, but I'm still over eating, and not eating.

Since highschool I've only eaten one actual meal a day. Since I actually told someone about my problem I manage to eat breakfast at least once a week and lunch about once or twice a month, but I still over eat.

Next year I'm moving out and I plan on making a lot of changes in my life that include my eating problem, but right now things just seem a bit hard.

As this is my last year of highschool I do plan to attend my prom, and that of course has brought attention to my problem. It scares me and makes me think this is something I'll never get over. Yes, I do have fairly low self-esteem.

I'm a terribly inactive person. Two years ago I attended Curves for about a month and a half. It was the best thing in my life. I gained 5 lbs, but I lost over an inch, which made me happy. To be honest, the weight has never really bothered me, just the size. I had to leave as my mother couldn't afford it. I don't happen to have much money of my own as I don't have a job, and my motehr won't let me have one (although I admit I do not think I could handle one at this point in time).

I guess the thing that makes it all so hard, is that I'm on the pill. I suffer from terrible nausea because of it, so I end up eating before I take it. It's when I tend to over-eat the most.

I don't really know what I'm posting for, I know this will not make my problem go away, but I think it's because a part of me is so very tired of suffering and that that part is attempting to take the first step right now.

Any advice, or encouragement is quite welcome. Thank you in advance.

- Mel

I can sometimes handle not over-eating when I eat before bed, but I like my bc just fne. I was on a different brand before and it was kinda worse. I actually weigh less on BC. About 10 lbs less (I noticed when I went off briefly).

I'm only 5'3" (160 cm). I'm Canadian and do metric for everything but weight, and measuring in cooking. I can't really cook, in fact I'm kinda afraid of the stove. I can bake fine though, and do pasta.

Yeah I've got to get going now, I've got school I need to get to and a shower to take...

Thank you, again.

you need to have a look at your life and try to work out wats making you unhappy..

like the other person said there are other options for you to take regarding the pill... there are alot that you can take.. you said that you binge b4 cuz you dun wanna feel nausious but there are alot of others that dont make people feel like that and it isnt right that you do feel like that wen you take it so it really isnt right for you...

it also could be an emotional thing that you need to eat b4 you take it... i dont understand cuz i do take the pill but that has never happened to me and i have never heard of it... but all pills make you apprantly 'gain weight'

because you dun eat properly you might need to wake up one day soon and think... im goin to have a normal eating day and not think about my weight.. wen you wake up have a coffee or tea.. have some breakfast then get on with your day.. feeling more energised and happier that you are not thinking about your weight... at lunch think .. oh its lunch wat should i have? maybe a sandwhich or a salad... throughout the day snack on healthy foods like nutse or freeze dried fruitse nd vegies... then dinner. try and not make it rule your life.. try and think about all the other things that make up your life. because it is usually a distraction from other things wen you binge.. or you need to feel good about something so you turn to that... it isnt healthy...

how long do you want ot live... its a batlle to get over this it really is it takes alot of disapline and mind control and thinking. it takes alot you need to push yourself to make that first step.

i hope that this helps you.

I don't only binge at night, I'm just far more tempted because it's easier.

There isn't a day where I can't think about my weight, sorry but people just somehow need their sinhy reflective surfaces like everywhere. Plus not to mention if I finish anything, even if I didn't eat teh entire package, I get called a pig by my sister.

Eating healthy, it's not like I don't do that when the option is available. I am just as likely to binge on a salad as fries.

In regards to how long do I want to live, well I'm depressed so at least a third of the time I really don't want to live at all.

Only once a season do I feel energized, and that's when I feel like cleaning.

I already know what makes me unhappy.

look if you know that you have problems you need to address them thats what i was trying to say to you... you need toi find out how you can resolve wats making you unhappy...

you need to push yourself to fix yourself because in the end you are you and it takes you to help yourself... you can listen to everyone all you want but in the end you need to do it