Wanting to get better...

I've suffered from eatting issues for 8 years now... Through high school and college, and even now that I'm an "adult" in the working world... I was very overweight as a child, and then lost a lot of weight when I started middle school. With all the positive feedback, I did not like it when I started to gain a little bit back when I was in high school. Instead of dieting, I starved myself, and I haven't been the same since. I have been through bouts of starving, and times of uncontrollable eatting, but my eating has really spun out of control in the past year or so. I either don't eat enough... and only "healthy, high-fiber" foods at that, or I binge. I probably binge every other week or so. And I do mean binge. I tried to talk to my mom about it, but she refuses to admit there could be anything wrong. I am very thin, but my weight fluctuates with my binges. I can't seem to find a healthy medium. I really, really want to get better. I can't live a normal life, and I feel like it's keeping me from becoming the person I want to be. It fills my whole life, and I just want to live. I really want to get better, my problem isn't huge... I weigh nearly normal for my height and I do eat. Is it possible for me to recover without professional help?? I am about to just go crazy here....

Heya,


I also have had a problem with food and my weight for the past few years and it sounds similar to you. My diet as a teenager was dreadful but I picked up a bicycle one day when I was 17 and have never looked back. I soon began getting compliments from girls (I'm male) and got upset when people stopped complimenting me. That made me try even harder to look good.


It is important to find 'commonality' - i.e., Try not to let your weight fluctuate so much. Also, if you currently purge through vomitting then this should be your first 'tackling point'. Try this by replacing the purge with something else - Take pieces out of your current life and bring in new pieces. The things that words describe seem so easy but look, I know exactly how darn tough an eating disorder is.


I better go - it's getting late here.

Kevin.

I'm posting this from another thread, as it has been very useful:

In order to beat this vicious cycle one needs to have a plan of action. Here is mine:
tools needed:
1. a gram scale i.e. kitchen scale...can be purchased from walmart for about $30.
2. a bathroom scale that will measure digitally..easier to read than dial scales
3. post its..those little yellow notes
4. a pen
5. a pocket calculator
6. internet access to nutritiondata.com
7. a calender to record data on
8. a plan to monitor caloric intake by measuring everything consumed, weighing it by calories per gram ( info found on nutritiondata.com ) and keeping a daily log on the post its, which can be recorded on a daily calender. Weigh yourself once a week same time, like every mon morning and record your weight on the same calender. as you consume calories during the day, add them up on your daily postit. Put the postit on the fridge for easy access, a new post it for each day.
9. keeping track is the key. You can figure out how much you can eat and gain, lose, or maintain your weight by having a written record of exactly how much is going in. No starving! The point of this monitoring is to find your balance. I personally need 2400 calories a day to maintain 123 pounds. No feast or famine, but steady as she goes.
10. this is tedious to start but once it becomes a habit it is a great source of personal security to know how to accurately manage your body physics. Vague admonitions to eat less, eat right, ad nausium just dont cut it for most folks. If this is too daunting of a task, jenny craig will do it for you but thats alot more expensive. Most packaged foods list the calories and the gram weight of the contents. just divide the calories by the grams and you will have how many calories per gram something has. like 28 grams of butter have 200 calories or 7.14 calories per gram.
10. Another helpful thing is to have a healthy tunchy to bite and chew, like raw carrots, for those times when alls you really want to do is knaw on something. It takes awhile to eat a big carrot and is satisfying.
11. Drink alot of water. You have more stamina and function when well hydrated.
So dont hate your poor self. its just physics. speaking of physics, just walking around, dancing, or climbing stairs, any sort of movement is very useful, preferably daily. Get a pedemetor and try to rack up at least 5000 steps a day. Weight training is great, too, as when you build muscle it helps you burn more calories by raising your basil metabolism.
I am a wiry old cat of 62 years now. When I was a young person I went through some family traumas and in my teens got into a bad state of wanting to eat everything in sight. This did'nt do squat for my health or self esteem. When I left home to be on my own I found a system, which I've improved on over the years, but what I wouldnt have given to have had this at 13 to 17!
Taking control is very reassuring. You cant have control over the doings of other people, but you can at least have control over your own physics.
The main thing is to adhere to a daily routine. It takes dedication and perserverance, but the pay off is peace of mind.
good luck, friend

hey,

I really relate to what you're going through. Let me start by just saying that these binges and periods of starvation or "super-healthy" eating are things that you may always have in the back of your mind, even when you truly feel as though you've someday conquered whatever force drive these urges inside of you.
I learned, through this struggle, that it helps not to have a fancy diet plan, or to weigh yourself every day, or even to weigh your food--i mean, if it helps to have a food diary (something i use every now and again), then do that--but dont get too crazy. Going from kinda/sorta gauging what youre eating---to writing down and weighing EVERY LITTLE THING--can be overwhelming, and "not you" at all.
Just take a deep breath, and take every day one at a time. That's what I do, and so far, it's been working. I also try not to beat myself about things--I find that when I'm stressed, and then that leads to binging, I am twice as anxious, frustrated, and upset with myself. That can lead to (duh) lower self esteem and confidence, and also totally screw with your mind. Nobody needs that.

So basically just try to relax, and when you eat, eat consciously: dont eat in front of the tv, or in front of the comp--you dont realize how much you eat, and it does add up.
At the same time, you dont need to turn into a crazy calorie counter to find a balance in your daily food intake. Just eat when your hungry, but be aware of what youre eating.

Let me know if any of this helps.