Need Advice on Talking About Weight

Hi Everyone,

I have had problems with binge eating for about 10 years now. Over these years I have gained and lost a lot of weight, but overall I have gained # pounds. I never talk to anyone about my weight. Up until about a year ago I always had the (insane) feeling that if I did not bring it up, no one would notice!

I have not even fully confided in my husband about the fight I have with food daily. This is where I need advice. We have both gained quite a bit of weight and I am terrified about our state of health. In the past, I felt like if I didn't say anything and just started eating better and getting more exercise, he would follow along with me. This has not worked out well and I am finally realizing that I can't do this on my own and I need his HELP!

Over the years, I have told him that I want to start eating healthy and so we decide to. We always say "for real this time", and a couple weeks down the line we are back to our old ways. I think if I could speak honestly with him about how this really is a big issue for me, not just that I am being lazy or not trying, that we could actually make some progress. I don't know how to talk to him about this. I don't know how to make him understand. He has always stood by me and loved me and never said anything negative about my weight, yet I am terrified to bring it up. Like if I actually talk about it, it makes it real. (I know that is insane) But I am tired of being judged and feeling horrible, insecure, and guilty. I want to make a change so badly, but I really need his help.

Has anyone else had a situation similar to this? How do you bring this up to a loved one and be fully honest and ask for help?

Thanks.

Hi Well congrats 'cause you just broke the ice speaking about it here Step 1, won!

Now step 2. I'm going to make up a conversation and maybe it'll help xD

"Hey. You know, I've been thinking. I don't feel optimal."

"Optimal? How so?"

"I dunno. I've just been looking at these country statistics and there's some strong correlations between being overweight and basically *every* form of disease there is! I keep reading people say things like every 10lbs overweight correlates with nearly 100% increase in chances for cancer and heart disease by senior age. I'd sure like to decrease those odds. I could easily shed 10 pounds and feel better, how do you feel? I mean, who wants to spend their retirement savings paying doctor bills and multiple prescriptions right?"

"Hmm... well I'm down for whatever you are, you know that, but, what did you have in mind? You know we've tried this in the past and it just doesn't quite work out."

"I know! But that's just because we haven't found the right answers yet, progress is a process! And, losing a few initial battles doesn't mean we should stop trying. I found research saying that optimal physical condition is 80% diet and 20% exercise, and the exercise can be as simple as a 30 mins powerwalk every other day. That's it, can you believe it? We can pull that off in the evening before we sleep, or we could wake up 30 mins earlier together and go in the morning."

"Well sure that's not much to ask, but what about the diet? We gotta do the calorie counting and all that again? Gah I sink when I see the small portions, they really bum me out! I like to see my dinner plate heaping!"

"Well, I've been learning about that too, and it seems that limiting your calories actually has nothing to do with it. It's more about what you eat then how much you eat. There's this girl Freelee the banana girl on youtube, she eats 30-50 bananas a day and she's in gorgeous shape! Body fat is actually mostly toxin storage the body doesn't know what to do with, if we just stop eating toxic ingredients we'll at least stop adding weight. Then, there's this book out right now, The China Study, and it's a doctor from the milk industry basically admitting that research is strongly suggesting if not seriously proving that animal products of any kind do not process correctly in our bodies, they actually putrefy and enter our bloodstream as more toxins. All we got to do is cut down the animal products and artificial additives and we can basically eat whatever and however much natural foods we want, and we'll still slim down to an optimal state in a safe, healthy rate!"

"We? Well, ugh, I dunno if I can give up cheese and steak honey that's asking a ton!!"

"Hmm, I know I feel that way too! Maybe we should just let things go in steps. Start off by cutting artificial ingredients out, you know the ones we can't pronounce or definitely didn't grow on a tree. That way we're at least consuming all natural food. Then we start cutting down the dairy, the worse of the animal group for our health, and slowly replacing red meat portions with white meat or eggs. Meanwhile increase anything else. No calorie limitation, no portion control, just ingredient selectivity."

"Ugh ok maybe, but I definitely can't just 180 a cold turkey into it. It really never works for me."

"Right, me either! If we ease our transition, our bodies will adapt more happily and not flip out with hunger cravings. We could start by just replacing one of the meals, like breakfast, every other day. So one day is our normal eggs or toast, but the next is a 10-banana smoothie - each! We can also start by alternating days, 1 day as healthy, 1 day as standard. Then start increasing it to 2 days healthy, 1 day standard, until eventually we get it down to 6 days a week eating healthy, earning that naughty day off!"

"Will that work? Yeah I'd be down with it if I knew I at least get 1 day to just be myself!"

"Sure! And you know, we might notice that we're feeling SO great and SO healthy those 6 good days we don't even want to be all that naughty by day 7!"

"So do we need to weigh ourselves or something?"

"Not unless you want to! I say we just experiment for now. Maybe we should start by making a smoothie right now and watching some banana girl episodes, she's a blonde beauty I think you'll enj--"

"A what! Sure will! Er I mean, of course honey whatever you'd like to do right now... ugh hrrr..."

"Great! I knew you'd be my #1 partner! Let's go!"

Then cheers your smoothie glasses, "to Optimal!"

xD

Ok that was fun I'm going to go eat my dinner now xD Good luck!!

And no fear! That man loves you, you said it yourself

Be blessed!

Sol