My BDSM obsession is ruining my life!

I need to know if I need to quit BDSM, and if so then how. I actually like it as a part of my life - it appeals to my creative side, but I'm worried that I'm starting to become fairly obsessive with it, and that it's starting to slowing engulf other areas of my life.
Scattered around my house I have handcuffs, gags, dildos, butt plugs, chains, tights, a chastity belt! I've spent days modelling characters on computer software trapped in different places, I've tied myself up regularly all over the place and I've spent quite alot of money just experimenting. I have a naturally addictive personality and I'm very weak-willed, meaning I tend to get obsessed with all sorts of things regularly, but normally only for very short periods of time - but not with this. I've been doing this since the age of 11 in various forms, but it's only now I have a full and happy life it's starting to really affect things.
I have a girlfriend, who knows what I'm into, but doesn't know about all of the items I have, nor all of these practices - only the ones we've used together. Even she can't fully understand just how obsessed I can get with it - to the point where I can barely think about anything else, despite an extremely intense and demanding job. I do also keep some elements of it a secret from her - I'm quite into selfbondage as a result, and hugely enjoy the intricacies of successfully trapping myself in different positions, almost more than actually being trapped, but I don't like the secrecy.
I also don't like the way I have these massive mood swings, from nearly completely obsessed with it to suddenly thinking very clearly and sensibly, these two extremes seperated only by masturbation. Once I've masturbated, all of the desire to perform and interest in BDSM completely vanishes and I feel normal again, and it's here that I get work done, give attention to my gf and do other normal things like play music and think about generally what a waste of time the obsession really it. But then it slowly builds back up towards obsession - leading me to think it is (obviously) linked very closely to my libido and sexual drive.
Sometimes I think of putting every bondage-related into a big bag and throwing it away somewhere, but I know that my obsessed self would only go and spend a load more money buying it all again in the end. I am weak-willed and ultimately my whole life is at the mercy of this obsession. What do I do?

Thanks in advance for your help and advice.

Hi, shock_tactics! Maybe this is some kind of sex addiction for you. Have you thought about getting professional treatment and/or maybe looking for a support group? Maybe a therapist would be able to teach you skills that will help you control this with time and help you understand what it comes from if needed. Did anything make things easier for you when you had other obsessions?

Shock_tactics,

It's quite possible that your obsession is adversely affecting other areas of your life, but let's be careful here. What you're experiencing is not specific to BDSM because of its nature. It happens to many people over many different practices and interests (Video games, golf, social networking, soap operas, music, football, etc.)

I think it's pretty clear that you need help managing the integration of this interest into your life so that other valuable areas of your life do not suffer, but that's what we all try to do with work, school, romance, family, and so many other things. This is no different, and it needs a moderating influence.

I hope you find the help you seek.

Mr. Michael

hello shock_tactics.........I AM a Domme, and I also have become addicted to the alternative way of life, embracing our darker natural desires. The 'vanilla' people will definetly disagree, calling it all sorts of perversion, but, I say embrace the dark side, stop fighting it, and be true to yourself.

I have a kind of same problem previously, but to a less extent. It really bothered me because I felt it was a uncontrolled guilty pleasure and distressful about it; it really killed a lot of time too. I believe the best way is to turn to the Lord, who made our body, Lord will help you out. Pray and read through the New Testament, you will find some clues. I trust Lord's spirit and wisdom will heal you if you trust him from your heart. May lord bless you.

I have masturbated every day since puberty often involving BDSM fantasies and it did not ruin my life, prevent me from getting a college degree cum laude, prevent me from successfully retiring from a 20 year career in the military (where sadomasochistic tendencies are to a certain degree necessary for career advancement since the job requires being able to put up with a risk of extreme
pain and a willingness to inflict extreme pain on others in certain situations), or from having a very
warm normal relationship with my wife of over 25 years now. I've never been especially secretive
about my sexual fantasies. There is no law against having weird fantasies. Some people may very
well be frightened by your fantasies but other people might be attracted to them or indifferent to
them as long as you respect certain boundaries that they might need you to keep which you seem capable of doing. Anybody you want an intimate relationship with is going to find about all your fantasies so being open about them gives you better odds of avoiding relationships that aren't going to work out anyhow and finding somebody you're right for which is much easier with the internet than it was back when I was young and single.