BDSM

Oh wow, where to begin?? As I was reading through some of the comments, I saw someone mention craigslist and boston which reminded me of a 48 hrs mystery about the cragslist killer, and he too went on alt.com (I use to have a profile on there) but anyway this post isn't about random serial killers.

For the record, I'm a woman and I've been involved in BDSM for over 2+ yeans now. I''m also a natrual submissive and masochist. But I try not to get caught up in labels. I've been in a couple long term D/s relationships and needless to say they did not work out. Why? Because there was no mental connection between my Dom and I. The sex was great but I wasn't psychologucally invested anymore. There was just so much going on. I've had several experiences with role plays (daddy-daughter in particular) and of course with being tied up/handcuffed etc. But I'm not gonna bore you with my random BDSM experiences, not important. What's improtant that if you're into this stuff, you live it out and don't let people judge you for being kinky- some on here sound quite judgemental (wild animal comment).

I am submissive and will be til the day I die whether or not I have a practicing Dom/BF. I haven't found anyone that I feel comfortable enough to begin a D/s relationship with.

A good website to go to if you're into BDSM is fetlife.com.

Okay I'm done with this for now, gotta head to bed, got an 8AM class tomorrow

Peace-
LG88

I've always wanted and felt great pleasure from being submissive but how do I get my wife whom won't even allow me to go down on her to be in control of me. I just feel like in the bedroom it's so white ice cream, I want some chocolate and at the hands of my wife but she thinks I am crazy

Are there any ideas how I can enjoy or enlighten her ... am running out of ideas ...

airplane

airplane, I would say that one good place to start would be asking her why she don't want you to go down on her and work around the problem.

I'm active in my local bdsm comunity for the last 10 years.
BDSM isn't wrong, and has long has you have some ethics and follow the 3 rules (saf, sane, consensual) evrything is okey.
there are "flavours" for everyone, each person defines what work for them, there are no "right way" to do it.

fetlife.com is a great place to start learning, but there are lots more. Just research, go to some munches (get togethers) and be has carefull has you are in vanilla life when engaging a new person...

btw... my current companion is my sub, and when I met her she were very vanilla... I belive everyone has a bit of bdsm inside, just needs someone willing to talk to, listen, and not calling her any names for being herself and having the guts to admit it to someone else.

be well, play safe

2close4comfort:

I've a very bent and traumatic childhood background, and I sometimes wonder if that has influenced my tastes. I tried to get into BDSM; got tied up a few times; got a spanking once. I had another one and aparently disassociated; scaring the hell out of my partner. Interestingly, my BDSM activities never led to sex. Hmmmmm

I really like the idea of being someone's subbie slave 24/7 but I have to say that the FBI is really focused on that stuff and anyone who tries it gets in trouble really fast. The problem is: what does a Master do if his subbie suddenly decides she's being abused and turns it in? I know of at least one recent case where exactly that happened. And now days, a woman is taken very seriously if she has a complaint about it. I think it is pathological that people even mess with it. Far too many subbies wind up dead or disappear forever.

Not to say however, that I would not like to have it happen. Some people are just so starved for affection that they will do anything. I understand that perfectly.

1000yardstare,

Don't know what's your experience but you talked about the FBI so I assume you are from the usa...

Go search by:
Folsom fetish fair
bondcom
ruberella
skintwo

These are only the events I know of that happen in the US at least yearly.
Acordingly to the statistics at least 20% of the population in each country engage in some kind on bdsm (worldwide).

And about the bdsm... has long has you don't go on the first session doing blood-play or some other kind of edge play. Involve yourself in the bdsm comunity, I guess that any judge and jury would look very carefully at any kind of acusation...

cheers and good whippings;)

yes. i agree with you.

xkingx99 wrote:i was against it untill my girlfriend pissed me off so bad.. sex was our escape from reality and when we were mad i would hurt her. i couldnt get it up to make love.. but when i was spanking her pussy, choking her, slapping her face, and ######6 her throat i was hard as a rock. just typing it out makes me hard and i am heartbroken right now. she would say "i love it when you hurt me. hurt me daddy" she would grab my hand and slap her face to show it was ok. she was out of control and dominant outside the bedroom but in the bedroom she would do anything. one time i was doing her anal really hard and chocking her with both hands. her face was dark red.. afterwards she was happy. she was bad and needed to be punished

"and when we were mad i would hurt her."

That doesn't sound healthy, at all. That sounds abusive. No one lives or ###$ in a bubble, everyone is influenced or socialized by something, and this seems to be influenced by some sort of self-loathing on her part if she wants you to treat her like some emotional punching bag when you're mad.

I agree with Lilia!

I have been in and out of BDSM since I was 17 (I'm 45) lived in the BDSM world for about 10 years now and have to make a few observations....
1. During "play", both partners MUST be in control of their emotions and actions.
2. All actions must be consented to by BOTH parties.
3. A slave/submissive/bottom should NEVER be hit in anger.

Shortbow mentioned fetlife.com. Great place to start.... IF you use it correctly. Many go there trying to use it as a hook-up site. Save that for aff and collarme. Fetlife is a great place to find a local group, get involved, learn, grow and network socially.

She also mentioned SSC (safe, sane and consensual) but many of us prefer RACK (risk aware consensual kink). I mean, face it... a lot of what we do isn't safe and many say it isn't sane. RACK means we know there is a risk, we are aware of the risks, all parties consent to the kink.

Anyway, I am always happy to answer any questions.