Masochism

Hi it is Will.

I feel wrong for wanting this but I have started wanting Asher (my BF) to hurt me and cut me and be violent.
I want this never ending abuse and pain.
Him hurting me gives me pleasure. I want him to cut into my flesh and drink from me.
I want him to harm me so badly

I began to want this a few years back but it went away and now it is all I want.
Should I ask him to do it to me and to treat me how I want.
I want to be his slave.
or should I get counselling and try to get it out of me.