Dating APD is like playing "hard to get"

Ullteppe wrote:Following the rules from a dating book to a T seems to be one of the best ways to ensure failure.

My thoughts exactly ... love between 2 people should be spontaneous and unique. General dating rules shouldn't be applied to all relationships.

newjersey12 wrote:, telling her that i still care deeply about her. she seemed deeply moved for the first time ever, since i have known her, and talked about her feelings (loneliness, depression) also for the first time ever. I love this girl and i want to help her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have to admit I have never invented a boyfriend but, to me it seems like she is testing you. I think she has to believe that you do really care about her.. and your not just trying to use her. I think you do have to be a constant friend. You aren't going any place. You will put up with her. For me personally these are behaviors I engage in .. almost unconsciously. I am not going to invest myself in anyone until I am sure of them... and see, words are words. Actions can tell the tale. I am probably single because most men do get fed up and can't really understand me. I, on the other hand, just presume they weren't that interested anyway and feel happy I never let myself believe they cared.

Some of my friends are put through this ... they want me to go out with them and I blow them off.. they want me to go to an event and at the last moment I have an excuse. Yeh they are poed.. but it is test... even if I don't fully realize at the time. Once they pass, they are friend for life, they have my loyalty. But it is high bar!

Tell her you're not going to take it anymore, and don't feel like being treated like trash, or something. And that it is better if you stop seeing each other for a time. If she doesn't come back with something conciliatory in days/week, she was no good from the start.