let it go

When i was in high school the last two years i had a crush on a girl at my class. Yesterday my old classmates including this girl somehow ended up in a coffee. One of the girls said: where is (me),i miss him. And the girl used to love said: "He doesn't talk to me at all,dick. At that point they all started laughing.(acording to my friend)
My friend that was in the coffee told me that she always loved me. I always doubted that. 1st because my self esteem is pretty low. and 2nd because of my lack of exp with girls i couldnt see it. plus i avoided her like everyone else but it was that hardest crush i ever had.
now,we know facebook is part of the teen reality and we cant deny it. so she;s online and i dont talk to her. the reason because i dont talk to her is pretty dumb and stupid and stupid. . i passed my last exam in high school and she said: long life to the weed.(because i smoke). i dont know what told me to PM her and tell her : u r ######6 lame. from then after 2 years i never said a word to her.(exept i wrote for her birthday). truth is, i still like her. but it feels too stupid to talk to her again. but my reason tells me to let it go.

Hey LastMatchLeft,
Take it from me (a oldie) life's too short mate, if you want to talk to her do DO IT.

My friend that was in the coffee told me that she always loved me.

It could be true.
I can't count the number of opportunities I lost out on because of my avoidant nature. Sometimes a handsome nice guy would ask me out or the rumour was that he liked me, I took no notice or even thought they were taking the p##s. I mean no handsome guy would like stupid ugly me (that's what mother told me), would they? I had no self esteem.
Boy could I kick myself now
She might be pleased to hear from you, come on it worth a try, right?
The worse that can happen is that she's not interested, then at least you know where you stand.

Greatexpectations wrote:Hey LastMatchLeft,
Take it from me (a oldie) life's too short mate, if you want to talk to her do DO IT.

My friend that was in the coffee told me that she always loved me.

It could be true.
I can't count the number of opportunities I lost out on because of my avoidant nature. Sometimes a handsome nice guy would ask me out or the rumour was that he liked me, I took no notice or even thought they were taking the p##s. I mean no handsome guy would like stupid ugly me (that's what mother told me), would they? I had no self esteem.
Boy could I kick myself now
She might be pleased to hear from you, come on it worth a try, right?
The worse that can happen is that she's not interested, then at least you know where you stand.

i just dont like that it happened over facebbook. makes it so cheesy.
for the last years ive stood only with boys. just smoking ,staying around. i dont know how to act. we are not in the same class anymore ,dont know what to talk about...let alone making a step.

Facebook, yup it is a bit cheesy I suppose. (but its a start)
I don't like facebook myself.
I understand, its not easy. Bit of a cliché but I want to to say just be yourself, relax.
If its true and this girl likes you, remember its because she likes what she sees, she likes you OK?
I have found its best to be honest, maybe tell her how much you like her but that you 'ain't much good with girls' cause all your mates are boys.
This might sound corny too, you could try this book 'How to Talk to Girls by Jonathan Toussaint' I haven't read it my self so don't know how good it is.
Is there a counsellor at your school you could talk to, you need to build up that self esteem. It can be done. I know, it seems impossible but its not, its just hard work.

Greatexpectations wrote:Facebook, yup it is a bit cheesy I suppose. (but its a start)
I don't like facebook myself.
I understand, its not easy. Bit of a cliché but I want to to say just be yourself, relax.
If its true and this girl likes you, remember its because she likes what she sees, she likes you OK?
I have found its best to be honest, maybe tell her how much you like her but that you 'ain't much good with girls' cause all your mates are boys.
This might sound corny too, you could try this book 'How to Talk to Girls by Jonathan Toussaint' I haven't read it my self so don't know how good it is.
Is there a counsellor at your school you could talk to, you need to build up that self esteem. It can be done. I know, it seems impossible but its not, its just hard work.

ty for responding and i somehow thought about ur message when i spoke to her about 3 days ago.
as i said she used to be my classmate that i didnt talk for 1 year. i spoke over facebook of course just to establish our chat because i dont see her daily. anyway,she said she wanted to talk to but was afraid of some bad reaction by me because in fact it was me that pushed her away. she called me honey,sweetheart,kisses etc. i have feeling she still likes me.
I can tell she's waiting for me to make a step. And i know she aint waiting forever. And i know this is the time. BUT I HONESTLY THINK ILL NEVER MAKE IT. i mean what should i ask,a 1 on 1 date,or some other mates from highschool too? im so ashamed of myself,especially when im thinking that a girl likes me,,i feel like i dont deserve it. I know she needs someone right now and i want to be there for her,and i want her to know how much do i want to be with her. Again,the only way to do that is to go tell her. I know the answers ,but im so caught up that i cant make a move.

Go for it! She seems to want you, you want her, what can you do? If it doesn't work out, you would be able to move on having learned a tough lesson, right? Take the leap.

i spoke over facebook of course just to establish our chat because i dont see her daily. anyway,she said she wanted to talk to but was afraid of some bad reaction by me because in fact it was me that pushed her away. she called me honey,sweetheart,kisses etc. i have feeling she still likes me.

It sounds like she really, really likes you. Keep talking to her.

i mean what should i ask,a 1 on 1 date,or some other mates from highschool too? im so ashamed of myself,especially when im thinking that a girl likes me,,i feel like i dont deserve it.

A one on one date would be good, don't ask other mates. How about the cinema let her pick, as you're watching a film you won't need to chat too much.
Like the previous poster said just go for it

Why are you so ashamed of yourself!? You sound like a real nice guy. You do deserve it you absolutely do.

Greatexpectations wrote:

i spoke over facebook of course just to establish our chat because i dont see her daily. anyway,she said she wanted to talk to but was afraid of some bad reaction by me because in fact it was me that pushed her away. she called me honey,sweetheart,kisses etc. i have feeling she still likes me.

It sounds like she really, really likes you. Keep talking to her.

i mean what should i ask,a 1 on 1 date,or some other mates from highschool too? im so ashamed of myself,especially when im thinking that a girl likes me,,i feel like i dont deserve it.

A one on one date would be good, don't ask other mates. How about the cinema let her pick, as you're watching a film you won't need to chat too much.
Like the previous poster said just go for it

Why are you so ashamed of yourself!? You sound like a real nice guy. You do deserve it you absolutely do.

i found out it helps me writing here before i do it
so,she spoke to me(on fb) ...asking me if i know someone at a random school. i said no. she said thanks anyway,then i told her we should meet sometimes.
then she said textually : " yes of course,i actually was for coffee with X,Y,Z,W (highschool friends).Do you talk to them ?"
I said yes. she said then " ok well set up the day and meet.".
thats it. why do u think she mentioned the other mates?
does that mean she wants me as a friend ?

Don't mean to butt in (hey i've got nothing bertter to do!) but I wouldn't assume that. Can never be sure I suppose, especially with bits of text, but in the first place do you think she knows for sure how you like her? And in what way you want to meet up with her? And she might just not be sure what you've heard from others and that's just what came into her mind. Maybe you could try emphasising that it'll just be the two of you (assuming that's the plan), and that you're looking forward to that or something, and see how she responds, i dunno...

Congrats on asking her out btw.

then i told her we should meet sometimes.

is rather vague.
If a guy said that to me I would be wondering, 'um dunno what he wants, is this just friendship?'
I wouldn't want to jump in and suggest a one on one 'date' in case I'd got it all wrong then I'd be embarrassed.

You could all meet up in a group if you are comfortable with that, and see how it goes.

If you don't want to do that, plain speaking is the way forward you are just going have to 'bite the bullet' be honest, and ask her out to the cinema, how about bowling do you like that?
There is a risk of rejection, but hey! that's life. Everyone get knocked back sometimes. if you want to move on its gotta be done.

Right! my teenage son has just butted in
His advice;
First step, talk on facebook, then to be a little bit more intimate;
Text her regularly to get to know her, act interested in her in her life, and in her, but stay 'cool' like yourself do not put yourself down.
He said let it flow, you will know when its time for the next step. That is to ring her and chat on the phone.

Yuma, feel free to butt in anytime