Do females have it easier?

Or rather, do males have it harder?

It seems as thought there is a societal expectation for guys to be socially apt and assertive, this is compared to females who seem to be able to get by all right despite being meek.

I'm interested in hearing what others think on this matter.

I agree that men are expected to be assertive, but socially apt? Not unless they have some sort of title or high position, otherwise it's pretty common to joke about how horrible men are in social situations. Women are the ones expected to be socially competent as far as I've seen/heard.

I can't give examples on how people have treated me in real life on a personal level since I haven't allowed one. I think that society generally views reserved and friendless people negatively no matter what gender, the view of them is just a different type of negative. (lonely men=creepy and untrustworthy, lonely women=insane cat lady, desperate to be with anybody)

I also think the idea expressed in that picture is a bit unrealistic and dismissive towards females with anxiety issues, as if it's not a big deal because there are tons of (imaginary) people waiting to help you out because you're just so kawaii. When I used to talk to people on the internet (mostly males) almost all of them thought my severe social anxiety was weird, not sweet and endearing like the picture suggests.

Short version: They're both ****ed.

I'd say that males have it harder, rather than the thread title. Though as PSH said we're both f*cked.

When it comes to things like picking up it seems men have to do most of the work, we tend to have to make the first move. Women just have to highlight their good physical features.

Yes by miles. Anyone who disagrees is either

A. Female, or

B. Delusional

The only ones allowed to call me delusional are the many, many friends I have who I talk to constantly on the phone all day long. And the leprechauns who live under my bed.

If you don't know how to talk to people, you don't know how to talk to people. Doesn't matter what gender you are. It doesn't help if you squash any hope of an other getting to know you from the outset. I'm really good at that, personally. Just try to talk to me, I dare you. Barbs shoot out of my skin to preserve my solitude. I may be a male, but I imagine that kind of thing can be just as much a problem for females.

Socialretard wrote:Yes by miles. Anyone who disagrees is either

A. Female, or

B. Delusional

This is a joke, right? I can't tell because you've always come off as bitter towards women but I hope it is.

In what way(s) is it so unbelievably harder for men? Because as far as I've noticed, being a self-hating female who pushes everyone away gets you just as far in life as a male who does the same. (Nowhere)

PatronSaintHunter wrote:
This is a joke, right? I can't tell because you've always come off as bitter towards women but I hope it is.

In what way(s) is it so unbelievably harder for men? Because as far as I've noticed, being a self-hating female who pushes everyone away gets you just as far in life as a male who does the same. (Nowhere)

If having an opinion that differs from yours makes me bitter towards women than i guess i am. Men have it harder, take your post as example, you judge me without knowing me. Try getting to know me before you toss around insults.

Socialretard wrote:If having an opinion that differs from yours makes me bitter towards women than i guess i am. Men have it harder, take your post as example, you judge me without knowing me. Try getting to know me before you toss around insults.

You were the one making definite assumptions, in fact you blanketed a whole group of people. I didn't say you were bitter, I was expressing that those were the vibes I've gotten off you from what I've seen. Your post just seemed to echo that. You also haven't pointed out what exactly it is that makes having AvPD so much harder for men than women.

My previous post =/= proof of men having it harder. Not sure how you connected the two.

Men do not have it easier. I think that women and men have roughly equivalent difficulties. Women are expected, even if they are shy or quiet, to be social and friendly towards everyone which is difficult for obvious reasons, so if lacking in these kinds of social skills/qualities will cast you as being either up-yourself or a b*tch. This can get some really vehement opposition from both men and women.

Also I have to add: Are you seriously comparing common garden variety shyness to Avpd and/or serious social anxiety? That is not very cool of you.

Yes, of course, women have it easier.

Bottom line, in our society men are valued by how confident they are. If you are a confident male then women will be willing to basically overlook everything else about you (e.g. maybe you're a serial killer. Should be fine as long as you are confident). OTOH, if you a male who is not confident nothing else you do is really going to matter.

For women, it's all about looks. You can basically substitute what I said for men about confidence and get the equivalent for women and looks. If a woman is good looking, she'll always be able to find a decent sample of men who will overlook whatever problems she has, e.g. maybe she is drug addicted, constantly depressed, unemployed, no education. They'll still be plenty of men happy to her if she is good looking. Conversely, if she does not look decent, however, then little else she does is going to matter.

Since AvPD, by definition, is about having no confidence it, thus, follows, that it will be more debilitating for men than for women.