New to AvPD

Hi all

I've been around the forums for a little while, but mainly hanging around on the self harm and BPD forums. I have finally in the last two weeks been given a diagnosis that feels like it fits- AvPD with BPD traits, along with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (which the meds are working well for). As far as the BPD stuff goes, I self harm, dissociate, have huge issues with trust and abandonment, my moods change at the drop of a hat, and I'm frequently suicidal. Actually I have a lot of the BPD traits, but my therapist doesn't think some of them are severe enough for me to be BPD. But he feels I am definitely avoidant. I've had various diagnoses thrown at me (depression- that has stuck for over 10 years, bipolar 2, PTSD, BPD, social phobia), plus an eating disorder, but I think they've finally nailed it.

So yeah, after lurking here for a bit I just thought I'd say hi.

I'm curious to know how treatment for AvPD has been explained to other people here.

Lily

Hi Lily,

I'm self diagnosed so cant offer any insight into treatment. So instead i thought I would just say hi to a sort of newish member.

dear lily, it's easy really
only reliable method is exposure therapy. Every therapist will tell you that. You need to went thru following procedure:
- go to bar
- find friends
- do activities with them regularly
- talk to random people on the street
- find spouse
- live with him for few years

After all of this you can be proud of yourself, because you took first step to cure your AVPD. Congratulations!

If only it were that easy...

I avoid any sort of social interaction except for maybe the few people I feel somewhat safe around.

The idea of friends just totally freaks me out. My closest friends bullied me subtly but constantly between 16-19. So to me, trusting people=getting hurt badly. I have had people try to break through my walls I put up, sometimes I will let them in a bit, but as soon as it gets slightly uncomfortable then I just start to shut down.

I can do the talking to random people thing a bit- I work in tourism/hospitality and spend half my day at work trying to do the small talk/pretend you're absolutely fine thing. I've had a few people ask why my hands are shaking when I do things like pour a drink for them. Xanax has helped a little with the anxiety, but the thoughts and inability to make conversation is still there. I'm mentally exhausted by the end of the day from trying to pretend all the time though. Ideally I need another job, but the thought of starting again elsewhere is just too much for me.

Spouse/partner/relationship =trust=not likely. I've never had any sort of relationship with anyone because I'm so terrified of trusting and having what happened with my friends happen all over again.

Has your therapist suggested any forms of therapy to you yet lily?

What innocent has said is the quite helpful, the examples may be at the advanced end of the scale though (I'm suprised there was no mention of beer ).

I go for the basic of just imagining myself in different scenarios and the various outcomes that may happen. I try to think of the whats the worst that can happen? And most of the time its nothing really that bad. It takes ages but slowly helps.

Obviously putting it into practice is the hard part for us. Like you said if only it was the easy.

tlepS drawkcaB wrote:What innocent has said is the quite helpful, the examples may be at the advanced end of the scale though (I'm suprised there was no mention of beer ).

Beer is da best. I thought it was obvious that you should drink the beer every day till you drop. So it doesn't make any sense to tell the obvious.

Sadly beer's not going to do me any good- I am gluten intolerant, and I'd be violently ill within an hour of drinking it...I can get away with drinking wine though. It's just when the effect wears off and I come crashing back to earth that there's a real problem. ie. hide the sharps and find a box of tissues because I end up really depressed and teary.

I get what Innocent means, but those things are going to have to be broken down into tiny steps for me to get close to achieving any of them.

I tried opening up a little about some stuff with a person I know from work I went to the city to see a musical with on the weekend. Trouble is, every time I try to open up to people they just push me aside or change the subject. It just reinforces to me that I should keep to myself completely.

We started discussing what therapy might involve last week. Options are work towards living with it and learning to manage it (achievable in a shorter space of time), or working on repairing the "damage" done (long term therapy). They also discussed the possibility of DBT for my BPD issues. My therapist has said that he believes there's been some sort of emotional abuse in my past that has been a part of the cause of it, and at the moment I'm trying to work out what that stuff is, it's been very subtle over a long period of time and is not immediately obvious, so I'm having to do some digging atm. (Painful).

Innocent3000 wrote:

tlepS drawkcaB wrote:What innocent has said is the quite helpful, the examples may be at the advanced end of the scale though (I'm suprised there was no mention of beer ).

Beer is da best. I thought it was obvious that you should drink the beer every day till you drop. So it doesn't make any sense to tell the obvious.

You've given up on life a long time ago, eh?

Hand me a bottle of beer my way please.

Gelazar wrote:You've given up on life a long time ago, eh?
Hand me a bottle of beer my way please.

Not at all da dude. I love my life now. I'm trying new things in fact, like date or doing some sport (still both unsuccessful but who cares )

And only thing you need to be happy in longterm is exposure and alcohol. If you can survive exposure (and several suicide attempts connected to it) you can be cured!

Your lack of success is depressing and uninspiring. Give me some goddamn beer please.