Who has....

tlepS drawkcaB wrote:Zero here aswell. Literally for the same reasons you mentioned aswell socialretard which i find a bit of a suprise. It's seems that post of yours was pulled straight from my head.

I've always been able to make acquaintances with people easily, its just I dont bother letting it get to the friend stage because i've never really seen the fun in socialising. Always found being around people more stressful than fun.

The only thing that i feel im missing out on is the whole girlfriend/wife thing.

We need attachment , that's one of the initial issues that shaped who we are and who we have become.
By locking people out we are trying to shift our attention away from feelings that trigger the attachment.

I always think of a test performed on small children.
The Parent stays in a room and ignores the child, there is a teddy in the room.
Rather than be hurt from the one they love, the small child turns side on to the parent (keeping the parent close by for safety but maintaining a safe distance)
All the child's focus is on the Teddy bear.

We want attachment but don't want to be hurt by it, so it's just easy to focus our attention else where.

G'day SR and DrawbridgeB
Dwight

I don't have any friends, but I have a couple of acquaintances who keep in touch.

Yeah, you aren't alone, OP. I've been fighting this disease(yes, I call AVPD a disease/diagnosed in 1993) for nearly all my life. I'm 41 now. I've definitely improved in the "avoidance" area all these years later. Mainly, I have no problem going to social functions and meeting people off the Internet(something that would have been extremely stress-inducing a few years ago). I have a decent job, decent apartment, interesting hobbies, but close friends...uh, not so much. And you know what, I'm pretty cool with that. Perhaps I've just learned to accept it. Like a couple of posters stated, the only thing that I really regret is the whole girlfriend thing(although I have had girlfriends before...been withouth a gf since August 2011). Take that component away, and really, I don't need close friends. I do some of the Meetup groups, online meetings, etc. That is enough for me. The girlfriend aspect is the only part that I truly desire. I'm not sure how you guys deal with the sexual aspect of AVPD, but I decided long ago that hookers are the way to go. In fact, they should be a requirement of people with AVPD. We should get something like "hooker stamps" due to this damning disorder. I can also be schizoidish at times because there are great gulfs of time where I want nothing to do with people at all in any way, shape or form. Then, like last night, I'm kind of the opposite of all these because I met this girl for dinner(met her online) and then after our meeting I went and got a blonde-Asian hooker with big boobs and did short-time. That is why my username is Unique Freak...I can be social, avoidant, schizoid....it changes all the time.

Zero.