are you ever embarrassed to date because..

the person will find you so incredibly inexperienced!? I am over 30 and only been with 1 person. I know a prospect would be so turned off by that. Plus, I'm so NOT confident sexually that I am frigid. I dont want anyone to see that.

As a guy it is extremely shameful. You are looked down upon as this disgusting pathetic loser.

I have the exact very same problem! I am not frigid though. I am not sure it really matters though, that you are inexperienced. I asked a girl out on a date today and was turned down. She said she was engaged. I think you just have to ask a lot of women out on a date, and pick somewhere beforehand to take them.

Forget about sex also, or say maybe you don't want to have sex until after 4 or 5 dates with that person. Most women don't want to have sex on the 1st date anyway. I am personally looking for an extremely nice wholesome woman, not just for sex.

-- Sat Dec 03, 2011 2:15 am --

Socialretard wrote:As a guy it is extremely shameful. You are looked down upon as this disgusting pathetic loser.

I dont think that is really true. Maybe in some circles.

I'm not confident with it at all either. I'm extremely awkward. That's something we have to work on ourselves though. I think if you met someone, had a good understanding of each other and feelings developed over time, they're not going to run away if you're a bit under-experienced sexually. You'd have to find someone that is understanding. I think it's more important to work on actually getting to a place where you'd be willing to even share that with someone. The physical aspect would probably come easier after that.

I pray for that person to come but I somehow think everyone is the same. I think they're all going to judge me, think I'm a waste of time and just a bad idea.

michijo wrote:I have the exact very same problem! I am not frigid though. I am not sure it really matters though, that you are inexperienced. I asked a girl out on a date today and was turned down. She said she was engaged. I think you just have to ask a lot of women out on a date, and pick somewhere beforehand to take them.

Forget about sex also, or say maybe you don't want to have sex until after 4 or 5 dates with that person. Most women don't want to have sex on the 1st date anyway. I am personally looking for an extremely nice wholesome woman, not just for sex.

-- Sat Dec 03, 2011 2:15 am --

Socialretard wrote:As a guy it is extremely shameful. You are looked down upon as this disgusting pathetic loser.

I dont think that is really true. Maybe in some circles.

Guys that cant get dates are not thought very highly of. Have to be confident but if you have next to no experience good luck with that.

I am not so sure about that. You may know something I don't. But any people who are that superficial as to look down on someone for not getting a date, well those people don't seem very interesting. I wouldn't want to socialize with them anyway, even if I could get dates.

The problem really revolves around the self-centeredness of paranoia. You have to be able to forget yourself completely, and this is hard if you have delusions, and also hard if people are trying to remind you of yourself.

Myself, more and more I go through life without any fear at all. I feel more and more "big" the older I get, almost like an animal, without any nervousness. I don't know if it is because I am a man now, or what. When younger I was more nervous, but now I feel almost like a bull or a lion. I grew my beard out recently and it is red like copper wires and thick, and I was sitting in a chair in my apartment, and I felt like an animal in a zoo, without any emotion or reaction to nerves.

Its strange, for me I feel now almost vindictive toward women, like if they liked me now for being a man, it would piss me off. I am too revengeful. I also want revenge against people and hold grudges for literally ever, I never forgive anyone. I keep a tally inside my mind of grudges. If I died, I would turn into one of those Japanese spirit demons that possess areas, because of the grudge they held during life.

I wish I could be embarrassed about it because it means I'd have overcome one of my fears.

I have only formally asked a woman on a date twice. The first time I successfully took one out for coffee. The second woman said she was engaged and I saw her ring.

Actually the first girl was very interesting, shy, and looked strange, from Maryland I believe. She looked extremely shy and had strange facial features.

Incidentally I have taken a woman out to a tea house, but she was already my friend, and complained the whole time, even though I paid for specifically Turkish tea from Rize in genuine tulip shaped glasses! I took this same woman to a bar and she liked cider more, but nevertheless refused to sleep with me.

Consequently, I am not sure what is meant by "date". Do you mean taking women out to "places" or actually dating them formally?

Dating in the "highschool" sense of you know it will be over in two weeks, or like in long term affairs? In a sense dating is kind of stupid.

Are you also American? I sometimes think that American women are vulgar and unromantic, and that if you do anything really nice, it will insult them, like casting pearls before swine.

When I hit 30 I had been with no persons. I remember putting up posts as 40yearoldvirgin in dating sites. One just banned me after a few hours. So I don't think being with just one person is so bad.

What specifically don't you have enough experience with? Are you a bad kisser? Or bad at in the sack activities? For guys I always recommend hookers. I'm not really sure how a woman could deal with this. If you are in good shape and guys are attracted to you there will not be a problem finding some horndog to have sex with.

That said, I don't date. I don't have plans to date. I don't feel like dating. Or mating.